Support Group for middle aged husbands not having sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I try to do more chores.

This definitely does help.

IMO, there are about a handful of reasons why your wife doesn't want sex with you:

1. she resents you
2. she's tired
3. you are no longer attractive (could be related to #1)
4. medical reasons (drop in hormones or other illnesses)

These are good reasons. Here are some more:

1. Do you pay attention to her pleasure? Sex gets boring when you get nothing out of it.
2. To want sex, you have to feel sexy. To feel sexy, you need to feel confident and attractive. If you constantly belittle her or criticize her, she won't feel up for anything.

Woman here invading this group. My husband is always very sweet to me and never criticizes or belittles me. That makes me want to be very sweet and nice to him and sex is part of that. And when we have sex he almost always asks what I’d enjoy because it’s not always the same and I do my best to make him happy.

+1000 My husband is so kind to me and tells me I’m beautiful and it makes me want to sleep with him. Conversely, when he‘s short with me or only kisses/hugs me when he wants to have sex, it is impossible for me to feel into it. There is nothing as irresistible as a man who kisses you with love in eyes and no strings attached.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Here is the thing. All you sexless ladies are bored with your husbands right? But (most) of you remain (at least slightly) interested in sex with some other new/exciting man who showers you with attention.

Think about that for a moment. A middle aged husband's best chance for sex is not with his own wife, but with the lady up the street, the woman who works at dry cleaners, the girl at church. He may be boring to you, but he can easily be that new/exciting guy for every other woman on the planet.

If you are a sexless wife, this is what's keeping your marriage together right now.

Because to the lady up the street, you are also new to her, and she doesn't harbor any resentment to you, yet. And vice versa.

Exactly! Every 9 months, the couples rotate, like musical chairs. This is the only proven method that keeps a sexless marriage from becoming a divorce.
So long as women have a rotating cast of new/exciting guys to woo her, she exhibits a responsive libido, and another marriage is saved.

Some people really should not get married. Marriage requires a lot of compromise and self sacrifice. If you don't think you can do it, don't get married. Please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Here is the thing. All you sexless ladies are bored with your husbands right? But (most) of you remain (at least slightly) interested in sex with some other new/exciting man who showers you with attention.

Think about that for a moment. A middle aged husband's best chance for sex is not with his own wife, but with the lady up the street, the woman who works at dry cleaners, the girl at church. He may be boring to you, but he can easily be that new/exciting guy for every other woman on the planet.

If you are a sexless wife, this is what's keeping your marriage together right now.

Because to the lady up the street, you are also new to her, and she doesn't harbor any resentment to you, yet. And vice versa.

Exactly! Every 9 months, the couples rotate, like musical chairs. This is the only proven method that keeps a sexless marriage from becoming a divorce.
So long as women have a rotating cast of new/exciting guys to woo her, she exhibits a responsive libido, and another marriage is saved.

Some people really should not get married. Marriage requires a lot of compromise and self sacrifice. If you don't think you can do it, don't get married. Please.

I know right? Women who might lose all interest in sex AND still expect fidelity should NOT get married because they will be terribly disappointed.

[Anonymous]

If you are solo or in sexless marriage...right now because of COVID, you will not be getting anything from anyone.

...assuming that you are not a criminal, an abductor, a rapist, a serial killer etc...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I bet some of the men here subscribe to the thought process that rape can’t happen within a marriage because she “owes” her husband.

As for me, I actually wouldn’t mind my husband having sex outside our marriage if and only if there was a guarantee of no pregnancy, no disease, and absolutely no emotional attachment. Problem is, none of those can be fully guaranteed, especially emotions. Nope, sorry.

The only thing that offers that is his hand. Which he’s welcome to use.

you are f'ing nuts if you really believe this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I try to do more chores.

This definitely does help.

IMO, there are about a handful of reasons why your wife doesn't want sex with you:

1. she resents you
2. she's tired
3. you are no longer attractive (could be related to #1)
4. medical reasons (drop in hormones or other illnesses)

These are good reasons. Here are some more:

1. Do you pay attention to her pleasure? Sex gets boring when you get nothing out of it.
2. To want sex, you have to feel sexy. To feel sexy, you need to feel confident and attractive. If you constantly belittle her or criticize her, she won't feel up for anything.

Woman here invading this group. My husband is always very sweet to me and never criticizes or belittles me. That makes me want to be very sweet and nice to him and sex is part of that. And when we have sex he almost always asks what I’d enjoy because it’s not always the same and I do my best to make him happy.

+1000 My husband is so kind to me and tells me I’m beautiful and it makes me want to sleep with him. Conversely, when he‘s short with me or only kisses/hugs me when he wants to have sex, it is impossible for me to feel into it. There is nothing as irresistible as a man who kisses you with love in eyes and no strings attached.

This times a million.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a sexless wife. I had a FWB (and my husband's blessing), but that's over now. Sigh.

Would you like to PM me?

[Anonymous]

'Good evening, and welcome to Blue Balls Anonymous'

"Hello, I'm Bob, and I haven't enjoyed sex for 4 years, 8 months, 11 days, 12 hours, and 43 minutes..."

"Hi, Bob!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ego.

The benefits of sexless marriage to a man, likely brought on by him not being a good partner in life are that society, work, school, neighbors, extended family all think he’s a wonderful husband, father and homeowner! After all, someone married him!

He will protect this image at all costs and further ruin his relationship with his wife for as long as possible to keep this facade going.

+1000

Their image is everything. Divorce indicates a failure, no matter how they try to paint it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ego.

The benefits of sexless marriage to a man, likely brought on by him not being a good partner in life are that society, work, school, neighbors, extended family all think he’s a wonderful husband, father and homeowner! After all, someone married him!

He will protect this image at all costs and further ruin his relationship with his wife for as long as possible to keep this facade going.

+1000

Their image is everything. Divorce indicates a failure, no matter how they try to paint it.

LOL no. That sounds like what a woman would do or think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Here is the thing. All you sexless ladies are bored with your husbands right? But (most) of you remain (at least slightly) interested in sex with some other new/exciting man who showers you with attention.

Think about that for a moment. A middle aged husband's best chance for sex is not with his own wife, but with the lady up the street, the woman who works at dry cleaners, the girl at church. He may be boring to you, but he can easily be that new/exciting guy for every other woman on the planet.

If you are a sexless wife, this is what's keeping your marriage together right now.

Because to the lady up the street, you are also new to her, and she doesn't harbor any resentment to you, yet. And vice versa.

Exactly! Every 9 months, the couples rotate, like musical chairs. This is the only proven method that keeps a sexless marriage from becoming a divorce.
So long as women have a rotating cast of new/exciting guys to woo her, she exhibits a responsive libido, and another marriage is saved.

Some people really should not get married. Marriage requires a lot of compromise and self sacrifice. If you don't think you can do it, don't get married. Please.

I know right? Women who might lose all interest in sex AND still expect fidelity should NOT get married because they will be terribly disappointed.

Women who have crystal balls and who can tell the future would definitely not get married to a man who doesn't want to compromise or make any effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Here is the thing. All you sexless ladies are bored with your husbands right? But (most) of you remain (at least slightly) interested in sex with some other new/exciting man who showers you with attention.

Think about that for a moment. A middle aged husband's best chance for sex is not with his own wife, but with the lady up the street, the woman who works at dry cleaners, the girl at church. He may be boring to you, but he can easily be that new/exciting guy for every other woman on the planet.

If you are a sexless wife, this is what's keeping your marriage together right now.

Because to the lady up the street, you are also new to her, and she doesn't harbor any resentment to you, yet. And vice versa.

Exactly! Every 9 months, the couples rotate, like musical chairs. This is the only proven method that keeps a sexless marriage from becoming a divorce.
So long as women have a rotating cast of new/exciting guys to woo her, she exhibits a responsive libido, and another marriage is saved.

Some people really should not get married. Marriage requires a lot of compromise and self sacrifice. If you don't think you can do it, don't get married. Please.

I know right? Women who might lose all interest in sex AND still expect fidelity should NOT get married because they will be terribly disappointed.

Women who have crystal balls and who can tell the future would definitely not get married to a man who doesn't want to compromise or make any effort.

Normal guys need regular sex and (for 99% of men) it takes compromise and effort to get that. If he's not doing all that (compromise+effort+SEX) with you, then he's certainly doing all that with his affair partner. Which means his compromise and effort weren't the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Here is the thing. All you sexless ladies are bored with your husbands right? But (most) of you remain (at least slightly) interested in sex with some other new/exciting man who showers you with attention.

Think about that for a moment. A middle aged husband's best chance for sex is not with his own wife, but with the lady up the street, the woman who works at dry cleaners, the girl at church. He may be boring to you, but he can easily be that new/exciting guy for every other woman on the planet.

If you are a sexless wife, this is what's keeping your marriage together right now.

Because to the lady up the street, you are also new to her, and she doesn't harbor any resentment to you, yet. And vice versa.

Exactly! Every 9 months, the couples rotate, like musical chairs. This is the only proven method that keeps a sexless marriage from becoming a divorce.
So long as women have a rotating cast of new/exciting guys to woo her, she exhibits a responsive libido, and another marriage is saved.

Some people really should not get married. Marriage requires a lot of compromise and self sacrifice. If you don't think you can do it, don't get married. Please.

I know right? Women who might lose all interest in sex AND still expect fidelity should NOT get married because they will be terribly disappointed.

Women who have crystal balls and who can tell the future would definitely not get married to a man who doesn't want to compromise or make any effort.

Normal guys need regular sex and (for 99% of men) it takes compromise and effort to get that. If he's not doing all that (compromise+effort+SEX) with you, then he's certainly doing all that with his affair partner. Which means his compromise and effort weren't the problem.

Ok. Here's the crux of your problem, Sexless Marriage Guy. You think that sex is something you "get" from a woman. Not that it's something you both HAVE within a loving relationship. And you think to GET sex you have to put in effort and compromise. This is not the case. You have to show love within your relationship.

People in healthy long-term relationships don't see things this transactionally. My husband and I have sex because we love each other. He genuinely cares about me and is kind to me. He doesn't see me as a video game that he has to hit up down up up down or some other secret code to unlock the level to GIVE him sex. He sees me as a human being with feelings and thoughts and needs and moods. We communicate our wants and desires inside and out of the bedroom.

I'm beginning to think you are a lonley obsessed teenager b.c of the immature view of married relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the men: did it ever occur to you that perhaps you are just not good in bed and that is the reason why your wives refuse to sleep with you?

As much as I hate to reinforce angry sexless guys point - I cheated on my zero libido wife and my AP told me I was the best she ever had. So no, I don't think i was or most men or women being denied by their husbands are the problem

Agreed. My husband is fine in bed.It isn't him, it's me. Coming up on menopause. Bored with him after 20 years of marriage. We drifted apart in part because our marriage was very child focused, and then because we had some trauma and resentment. End result for me is that sex with DH just isn't appealing, even if he CAN make me cum. Really sex is not all about cumming. It's the journey, and I'm not interested in that journey with him.

This was a tough but a kind explanation. I’d hate to hear it from my wife, but I suspect she would say something similar if she got beyond “I don’t know why I feel this way.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FLESHLIGHT and YOUPORN. Amazon is still open

You are not getting sex at home. You cannot have go to your AP either. You can't boink your Co-Worker. You cannot get a happy ending massage. You cannot go to a prostitute either. In fact, you are in a sexual famine shitshow, the likes of which you have never seen before. Even HIV was not that limiting and you could use condoms and carry on somewhat.

There is no support group for you guys, Not even a groupon.

Oh yes there is. Ever hear of AshleyMadison and the likes? I could re-activate my account there anytime and find someone inside of a few weeks.

You have to be nutso. I wouldn't be sharing bodily fluids with anyone especially if you value your health. No one is worth that.

You have a left hand and right. If cheating is a thrill for you....cheat on your left hand with your right! There solved it for you!

That is what sex is about, sharing fluids. Thanks for giving me permission to masturbate but that's not what I want. My sex life is fine but I'd reactivate AM in a minute if I needed to. I'd much rather take my chances with a woman wh has been monogamous for years than your average bed hopping Tinder date. This Covid thing aside of course.

And BTW, in my experience, there are just as many wives not getting what they need as husbands. I never had trouble finding one.