Friend is having affair - wants to bring "other person" on a group trip

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In situations like this, what is loyalty? Sure, your loyalty should lie with your friend, but her loyalty should lie with her spouse.

I think you should go on the trip but tell the spouse.

Why do you assume that the spouse would want to know or, if the spouse already knows he/she would want to hear about it from some busybody. I would think the worse of you for taking such extra interest in my private life. You are not my friend, you don't know me, you don't know what's my opinion about it and what I would like to know. Use your energy for good, not to spoil my mood (which would be spoiled by you, not my spouse's actions).

Why do people say such a thing! Does anyone really want to be kept in the dark about having a fake marriage where everyone knows but you! In this case newly married! What a life!
Everyone keeps a secret so the wife/husband has no knowledge to make an informed decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do folks think that your spouse's family will stand by you when your spouse f's up? They won't. They are your spouse's family. They stand up for him/her, not you.

You have your own family.

If you get married in a church wedding, don't the people in attendance agree to support the marriage?

And if you have kids, you are the wedded, official mother of his kids, and yeah, they are supposed to back you up in a wrong vs. right situation. Standing up for family now moves on to the next generation.

I've never been to a church wedding where people in attendance agreed to support the marriage. I have no idea what 'official mother of his kids' means. I also have no idea what you mean by the 'next generation' standing up for family. How odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do folks think that your spouse's family will stand by you when your spouse f's up? They won't. They are your spouse's family. They stand up for him/her, not you.

You have your own family.

If you get married in a church wedding, don't the people in attendance agree to support the marriage?

And if you have kids, you are the wedded, official mother of his kids, and yeah, they are supposed to back you up in a wrong vs. right situation. Standing up for family now moves on to the next generation.

I've never been to a church wedding where people in attendance agreed to support the marriage. I have no idea what 'official mother of his kids' means. I also have no idea what you mean by the 'next generation' standing up for family. How odd.

Is the PP referring to the part when the priest ask if there is any objection to the union??? I get what the PP means but the reality is that the person who isn't linked by blood is usually always the one who is easily disposable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do folks think that your spouse's family will stand by you when your spouse f's up? They won't. They are your spouse's family. They stand up for him/her, not you.

You have your own family.

If you get married in a church wedding, don't the people in attendance agree to support the marriage?

And if you have kids, you are the wedded, official mother of his kids, and yeah, they are supposed to back you up in a wrong vs. right situation. Standing up for family now moves on to the next generation.

I've never been to a church wedding where people in attendance agreed to support the marriage. I have no idea what 'official mother of his kids' means. I also have no idea what you mean by the 'next generation' standing up for family. How odd.

I'm not PP, but I have. (And also where they did not.) It's not standard.

[Anonymous]

OP how is it going???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do folks think that your spouse's family will stand by you when your spouse f's up? They won't. They are your spouse's family. They stand up for him/her, not you.

You have your own family.

If you get married in a church wedding, don't the people in attendance agree to support the marriage?

And if you have kids, you are the wedded, official mother of his kids, and yeah, they are supposed to back you up in a wrong vs. right situation. Standing up for family now moves on to the next generation.

I've never been to a church wedding where people in attendance agreed to support the marriage. I have no idea what 'official mother of his kids' means. I also have no idea what you mean by the 'next generation' standing up for family. How odd.

I'm not PP, but I have. (And also where they did not.) It's not standard.

I've been to a number of them where the people in attendance were asked to support the marriage.

[Anonymous]

This is tough because you your other friend might be seen as a traitor informing you of the relationship. So you have to take your other friend's (Friend C's?) view on how to handle the situation. One thing that I am certain of is that Friend A will no longer be a friend of mine after this incident.

[Anonymous]

Any update?

[Anonymous]

Bunp

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do folks think that your spouse's family will stand by you when your spouse f's up? They won't. They are your spouse's family. They stand up for him/her, not you.

You have your own family.

My spouse's family didn't. My XH cheated and I found out that he had gone to his brother to confess and get some advice/guidance and his brother just told him not to get caught. Not "honor your vows to your wife" or anything along those lines just don't get caught.

[Anonymous]

Any update, OP?

[Anonymous]

I would not stay with friend A.

[Anonymous]

OP we need an update!!!! Don't ghost us!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do folks think that your spouse's family will stand by you when your spouse f's up? They won't. They are your spouse's family. They stand up for him/her, not you.

You have your own family.

If you get married in a church wedding, don't the people in attendance agree to support the marriage?

And if you have kids, you are the wedded, official mother of his kids, and yeah, they are supposed to back you up in a wrong vs. right situation. Standing up for family now moves on to the next generation.

I've never been to a church wedding where people in attendance agreed to support the marriage. I have no idea what 'official mother of his kids' means. I also have no idea what you mean by the 'next generation' standing up for family. How odd.

I'm not PP, but I have. (And also where they did not.) It's not standard.

I've been to a number of them where the people in attendance were asked to support the marriage.

We had this at our wedding and when my XH cheated some people stepped up and tried to counsel us because of that. It didn't save our marriage but I appreciated their effort/desire to try and help us work through it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do folks think that your spouse's family will stand by you when your spouse f's up? They won't. They are your spouse's family. They stand up for him/her, not you.

You have your own family.

If you get married in a church wedding, don't the people in attendance agree to support the marriage?

And if you have kids, you are the wedded, official mother of his kids, and yeah, they are supposed to back you up in a wrong vs. right situation. Standing up for family now moves on to the next generation.

I've never been to a church wedding where people in attendance agreed to support the marriage. I have no idea what 'official mother of his kids' means. I also have no idea what you mean by the 'next generation' standing up for family. How odd.

I'm not PP, but I have. (And also where they did not.) It's not standard.

I've been to a number of them where the people in attendance were asked to support the marriage.

+1 So have I.