I've been unknowingly dating a transgender man

[Anonymous]

Violated

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you met her in a bar, post his pics in the bar. This will prevent him/her from doing this to someone else.

Yes, most bars are eager for assholes to post photos of people they had disappointing dates with. That's how they keep a loyal customer base.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Three months and just getting to second base? How many actual dates have you been on?
It sounds like the appropriate time to talk about it. Too early, she may not have felt comfortable telling someone yet. She may have wanted to be sure this relationship was going further before saying anything.

Withholding information from a potential partner that you know has a huge chance of ending things right off the bat so *you* can see if you want things to progress or not is straight up bullshit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would flip out if I found out I was dating a transgender person. I don't give a crap if it is not PC.

You can flip out. You can decide it's not for you.

There's still nothing to sue for. I suppose it is possible - though unlikely - you could present some sort of consent issue had you actually had sex. Rape by fraud or some such. But there was no sex in this case.

Dating is full of disappointments. When I was last on the market, I got wicked attached to a guy who it turns out still had serious feelings for an ex, who he ended up getting back together with. I was crushed. Such is life.

Sorry you had a disappointing and confusing experience OP. Move the fuck on now.

Feeling crushed versus feelings of violations. Wow, to think this is even equatable shows how stupid and insensitive you are PP.

Not that PP, but why would OP feel violated? Lied to, yes. But the woman he was dating disclosed her status as male assigned at birth before any sex acts happened. As I said above, I don't know any trans women who would get this far into a relationship without disclosing, and I think she was wrong to wait this long, but nothing bad happened to the OP except that he kissed a woman who had a big secret that she eventually told him.

[Anonymous]

Lol at the people who think this is a disappointing date or equivalent of a guy not telling a woman he is married. Thanks for the glimpse into the thought processes of the female mind

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would flip out if I found out I was dating a transgender person. I don't give a crap if it is not PC.

You can flip out. You can decide it's not for you.

There's still nothing to sue for. I suppose it is possible - though unlikely - you could present some sort of consent issue had you actually had sex. Rape by fraud or some such. But there was no sex in this case.

Dating is full of disappointments. When I was last on the market, I got wicked attached to a guy who it turns out still had serious feelings for an ex, who he ended up getting back together with. I was crushed. Such is life.

Sorry you had a disappointing and confusing experience OP. Move the fuck on now.

Feeling crushed versus feelings of violations. Wow, to think this is even equatable shows how stupid and insensitive you are PP.

I'm neither stupid nor insensitive. I'm a lawyer who knows that there's nothing actionable here. Disappointing relationships do not lead to successful lawsuits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol at the people who think this is a disappointing date or equivalent of a guy not telling a woman he is married. Thanks for the glimpse into the thought processes of the female mind

There's all kinds of reasons a person might feel "violated" - they by and large do not entitle a person to sue the other party. That's just not how life is.

[Anonymous]

He kissed a phenotypically male individual and he self identifies a cis male heterosexual, if you insist on separating out sexual orientation, gender, and sex. That is a fucking violation. You are so quick to want to spare the feelings of the trans and the OP just needs to "get over himself". Typical

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol at the people who think this is a disappointing date or equivalent of a guy not telling a woman he is married. Thanks for the glimpse into the thought processes of the female mind

There's all kinds of reasons a person might feel "violated" - they by and large do not entitle a person to sue the other party. That's just not how life is.

And let me add: it's a glimpse into a female lawyer's mind, is that it is.

The OP is upset. OK, fine. He also asked for legal options. He doesn't have any.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol at the people who think this is a disappointing date or equivalent of a guy not telling a woman he is married. Thanks for the glimpse into the thought processes of the female mind

There's all kinds of reasons a person might feel "violated" - they by and large do not entitle a person to sue the other party. That's just not how life is.

OP is venting. He hasnt called a lawyer. Jesus christ

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He kissed a phenotypically male individual and he self identifies a cis male heterosexual, if you insist on separating out sexual orientation, gender, and sex. That is a fucking violation. You are so quick to want to spare the feelings of the trans and the OP just needs to "get over himself". Typical

Well, he kissed someone who not only identifies as female but who presents as female to a point that he didn't learn she was born male until she told him. I get why that bothers him, and she should have given them that information at the beginning of the relationship, but it's not as simple as you make it sound.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I call bullshit.

Me too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He kissed a phenotypically male individual and he self identifies a cis male heterosexual, if you insist on separating out sexual orientation, gender, and sex. That is a fucking violation. You are so quick to want to spare the feelings of the trans and the OP just needs to "get over himself". Typical

Well, he kissed someone who not only identifies as female but who presents as female to a point that he didn't learn she was born male until she told him. I get why that bothers him, and she should have given them that information at the beginning of the relationship, but it's not as simple as you make it sound.

I'm a cis female who is very sympathetic towards the transgendered, but I think this is fairly simple. Everyone has rights in a situation, not just the transgendered person. The fact that they were already physical before the disclosure makes her a selfish, inconsiderate person. We all have baggage and internal conflicts, but they're our own. If my issue affects the other person, I need to deal with them before getting someone else involved. That means in this case, disclosure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know, they say the most vehement homophobes are often latent homosexuals. Might want to look into that.

I wonder why "they" don't say that the most vehement racial bigots deep down really wish they were black? Or that the most virulent misogynists secretly want to be women?

It's a shaming tactic.

+ a billion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol at the people who think this is a disappointing date or equivalent of a guy not telling a woman he is married. Thanks for the glimpse into the thought processes of the female mind

There's all kinds of reasons a person might feel "violated" - they by and large do not entitle a person to sue the other party. That's just not how life is.

OP is venting. He hasnt called a lawyer. Jesus christ

The OP even calmed down and felt compassion and concern for his date. He was worried she might do this again to someone who might actually assault her. Read the thread before jumping to judgement people.