I've been unknowingly dating a transgender man

[Anonymous]

I predict we will see more and more incidences like this with the growing interest in “transgenderism” and all of its ramifications.

[Anonymous]

why did it take you three months to get to second base though? were yall planning to have sex next 9 months later? the hell?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have sort of been there....back in the 80's, when no one had heard transgendered, I met a "woman" through an internet forum (Usenet fyi). We decided to go out. Had an ok date, and "she" blew me. I went to feel her up, and felt something else down there. I recoiled in horror. Date ended immediately. "She" assumed I knew she was a he...but I did't.

"Her" goal was to experience life as a woman. Me, being not particularly enlightened, pointed out that she has a penis. It did not end well.

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Look, its OK to not be able to overlook this woman's biological sex.

However you are an asshole of epic proportions for wanting to slug, sue, and shame her on social media.

Eh, not really. I think that's a rather normal initial reaction. It's not okay to hide such critical info from someone.

Well based on PP list, since I didn't shame her on social media, nor do I ever plan to, I'm really 2/3 a-hole. I'll take it.

You also might be 1/3 gay and are pissed about that fact. So there's that...

Wow, you PP are a raging idiot. I bet you also believe that women who connect to their captors really enjoy the attention. And women who are raped are 1/3 excited. Etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe she really "looked feminine"

I have yet to meet a transgender person who could truly pass themselves off completely. Plenty of giveaways, like an adam's apple, height, the huge difference in muscular structure and body shape between men and women...


If you really were attracted to "her" you might want to consider the possibility that you are bi, and be a bit more open minded. Clearly there was something in "her" male form that attracted you.

x2

Totally agree.

You are certainly welcome to believe that. I would have said the same thing prior to this experience. All the trans women or cross dressing men I have seen in person have definitely looked like men. They also didn't have a butt or sizable breasts (not that that is a prerequisite for being a woman). her breasts were in the C range and they were firm and perky (TMI). Her family comes from money so I'm pretty sure she had work done at this point. Her shoulders are broad for a petite woman, but she used to be a competitive swimmer (according to her). Without you physically meeting her, there is no way I could intelligently explain it. All I know is that, while there is Nothing wrong with being bi or gay, the memory of kissing her (him) and any potential thoughts of physical intimacy makes me physically nauseous. Since some of you are into labels, if that makes me a homophobe then so be it.

Yeah- they were firm and perky BECAUSE THEY WERE BREAST IMPLANTS.

This is the problem with what has happened in America. men don't even recognize real women anymore, because they have been taught from porn and stuff that a breast is supposed to sit straight up on a woman's chest in a ridiculous round orb.

Real breasts are shaped like tear drops- they sag, because they're not made of silicon.

This is the problem we have in America. Men cannot tell the difference between women and men with plastic implanted in their chests. SMH.

Makes you wonder how many of these men are genuinely straight, if you can swap out a dude for a lady and they are just as (if not more so) attracted...

Come on. Quit it. We live in more progressive times now. First of all, who cares if the guy is gay or straight or somewhere between on the spectrum. Second of all, no one is swapping out a dude for a lady - what is this, an Aerosmith video from 1987?

[Anonymous]

I've asked this a few times, but it keeps getting deleted. It's a serious question. If you are born a man, and still have a penis, aren't you still a man? How do you become a woman just by saying you are a woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lawyer here. This case might be actionable as a suit for breach of the implied covenant of having a vagina.

LOL.

Sounds like OP (and probably most straight men) would have passed even if she did have reassignment surgery, since she was not born a woman. We would need to take this a step further and base the law off of X, Y chromosomes. Wondering how the UK does it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lawyer here. This case might be actionable as a suit for breach of the implied covenant of having a vagina.

But what are the damages? There aren't any.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've asked this a few times, but it keeps getting deleted. It's a serious question. If you are born a man, and still have a penis, aren't you still a man? How do you become a woman just by saying you are a woman?

You might find this FAQ helpful:

http://www.hrc.org/resources/entry/transgender-faq

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:why did it take you three months to get to second base though? were yall planning to have sex next 9 months later? the hell?

OP here

I explained this earlier. And actually, in terms of intercourse, I do not plan to do that for at least 6-9 months. Maybe even over a year. Ideally, I would like to wait until marriage. Will need to build up more strength for that internally.

Not to brag, but I've had more than enough sex with women. I have found that sex (as well as cohabitation IMO) tends to over complicate things. Particularly if done in the short term.
Just my experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've asked this a few times, but it keeps getting deleted. It's a serious question. If you are born a man, and still have a penis, aren't you still a man? How do you become a woman just by saying you are a woman?

Hormones are usually involved. Our experience of gender is mostly mediated through our hormonal state, not through our anatomy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you discussed your childhood abuse with your therapist?

Yes over many years. I am at peace with it now. And the individual has been in jail for sometime now.

[Anonymous]

You should watch The Crying Game...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She should have told you upfront, you have a right to be angry. You also might consider that this is not a reflection of your masculinity or sexual preferences. It's going to be okay.

Thank you for your comment. Oddly, I do not feel less masculine, and contrary to what some posters are trying to claim, I do not doubt my sexual preferences. I do feel violated though. Almost like I need to take a shower, because I can't the filth of of me. Hard to explain, but thats the general feeling. Its a bit less intense today, but its still there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
She should have told you earlier, and she is disingenious, to say the least, to act all surprised at your shock. Just because she things of herself as a woman, it doesn't mean others think so, and she should know that.

However, I am a little perturbed that you are so aggressive, and felt like hitting her or want to out her publicly. This shows you do have a bias against transgenders to some degree.

Solution. Be a gentleman: break it off politely and privately. Period.

Yes, this, exactly. She should have told you earlier. Break up with her.