Anonymous wrote:
Resentment has created a lot of distance. Plus, having sex out of obligation enough for many years made the act feel a bit like a violation. This was my choice to try, and meet DH's needs, and keep the peace, but in doing so I just ended up really feeling used. Instead of DH getting curious about why I no longer felt passion, or wanted to kiss during sex, he just got sad and felt rejected (which I understand). He approaches my lack of arousal with limited attempts to figure out how to turn me on- grabs my breast in the kitchen, makes a joke. My resentment keeps me from taking on "fixing it". If I say touch me here, buy me flowers once a year, etc. - it still doesn't address the anger that he doesn't naturally want to do these things, and hasn't hustled at all to reconnect with me emotionally.
Same here. After years of counseling that changed nothing, we are now just about to finalize divorce. wish I had left long ago. Neither of us should have put up with living that way, and we didn't do the kids any favors staying together.
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