26 and never had a boyfriend - what the hell is going on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will be reading this whole thread for the night...but just based on OP's post, I've been where you are. I think flirting is key. You either are a flirter or you aren't. If you aren't, you are severely handicapped in the dating department. I didn't get a boyfriend til like late 20's. I seriously never even really touched a guy til then. All the wrong guys asked me out and I usually turned them down. At 25 I went on a few dates but I wasn't interested. I think I just wasn't comfortable flirting, didn't have the confidence, felt like a freak for being different, and just wasn't ready. It drove me crazy uglier girls than me, or ones who were horrible people, got boyfriend after boyfriend. Totally not fair. By like 30 most of the good guys are taken and you're left at a disadvantage again. Is it too late for an arranged marriage? I wound up sort of arranging my own marriage (although I'm not of a race where marriages are arranged). I got married in my mid 30's. It's not too late for you, but there are so many more competitive and dare I say slutty women out there that it's really hard to compete. Men will take who puts themselves out there and don't want to be rejected. If you're not giving out the signals, I'm afraid you will be passed by for someone easier. Try online dating or get an arranged marriage, but choose carefully because your decision can affect the rest of your life. At some point I just thought getting into any relationship is better than none at all. I have kids now and my first grader already has had multiple girlfriends. I think it's true that everything you need to know you learn in kindergarten. I think socialization with the opposite sex starts alot younger than people think and if you miss out on those formative years it's not a level playing field. Still, I think you have time.

How about this? How about YOU (or SHE) starts asking people out? That's the fastest and most proactive way to overcome these dating hurdles.

But, of course, being women, you feel it's your God and G0d given right to sit on your ass and wait for them to come to you. So you or she will do that instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:but the fact that you a decent looking 26 year old that gets zero attention from men suggests that you could benefit from some insight into how you come across to others.

Do we have any photos of OP? "Decent looking" is such a broad, broad term it is almost useless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's a pattern I noticed when I was single: The less physically appealing guys were the most flirtatious. The better looking guys were less. They didn't need to try as hard. I also will say that the better looking guys tended to be more boring because they didn't have to work so hard on having a personality and a life.

I second that. In fact, I contend that the nerds in HS and early college make the best bfs and husbands. They have worked on themselves since and are ready when a fantastic woman comes along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's a pattern I noticed when I was single: The less physically appealing guys were the most flirtatious. The better looking guys were less. They didn't need to try as hard. I also will say that the better looking guys tended to be more boring because they didn't have to work so hard on having a personality and a life.

I second that. In fact, I contend that the nerds in HS and early college make the best bfs and husbands. They have worked on themselves since and are ready when a fantastic woman comes along.

They are more likely to stick it out through thick and thin too because they worked so hard to get you. They appreciate you more. Nerds rule, jocks drool!

[Anonymous]

OP, dating is a game. Not everyone is good at, or likes playing the game. Some people meet their mates not playing the game, meaning online, bars, etc.

You have heard on here from women who eventually got married but weren't into the whole dating thing. I was the male opposite, reasonably attractive to a certain kind of woman but too shy to go to a bar and didn't want to go online because it is stacked against men. In business school, met and dated an awesome woman who understood where I was coming from and ironically, was tired of dating. We really helped each other out and for that I am eternally grateful. How did I meet my wife? Worked in same company in completely different area and started talking more as time went on.

So where is this going? My point is that not everyone is cut, nor want to be in traditional dating scenarios. If online isn't working and you are not naturally flirtatious, what are you good at? Athlete? Art? Volunteering? I would like there instead of frustrating yourself. Mostly women at these things? They do have brothers, cousins, and friends.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you have an update? I think I remember this thread. What happened?