18yo about to be let go from summer job because of phone use

[Anonymous]

I don't know if OP is real or not, but in case she is, I have thoughts.

1. Your daughter probably has ADHD as well as an addiction to her phone. Suggest that she gets evaluated and work with a psychologist. I assume she's on your healthcare plan.

2. Grow some balls and be a parent. Just because she's 18 doesn't mean you are not in charge. She lives in your home and you pay her bills, including her cell phone, therefore you are in charge. You can absolutely (a) stop paying her cell phone bill and (b) configure your router so that her devices get cut off after midnight. You can also refuse to pay for gas or her car and since you think she's an adult, you can ask her pay rent. That will motivate her to find a new job real fast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is 18 and started a summer job in May. She’s working at a restaurant. Her manager has basically told her he’s going to let her go soon because she’s on the phone too much during shifts.
From what I understand it’s not social media, she doesn’t really use social media,she’s just constantly FaceTiming/calling her boyfriend during work. Apparently it’s been going on for weeks and she’s been warned multiple times, but it hasn’t changed enough so now they’re at the point of letting her go.

I only just found out it’s this serious.
Part of me gets it — obviously you can’t be on your phone during a shift like that. But part of me is also frustrated because now she’s basically going to be at home all summer (until September) on her phone.

She’s upset and says she didn’t think it was “that bad,” but clearly it was. She says her boyfriend kept calling her, and she didn’t want to say no.
I’m not sure what the right move is here. Do I just let the consequences happen and hope she learns from it, or is there something she can do at this point with the manager to try to fix it and not lose the job? I don’t want her just sitting at home glued to her phone all summer either.

This is the parents fault, 100%

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1327519.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its too late to get a camp job for any decent camp and for lifeguarding she'd have to go through training.

Tell her to grow up and find another job or there is no spending money and limit the phone.

Lifeguards really need to focus! Can't think of a worse idea for this DD.

[Anonymous]

I hope this is not real but if it is -- there are so many red flags. If you have younger children, please take a parenting class or pick up some books at your local library.

Unfortunately I think you have let your DD down in many ways, and she has a long road ahead of her if she thinks she can Facetime at work, not listen when directly told to stop inappropriate behavior, is afraid not to pick up when her boyfriend calls, etc. etc. She will have to unlearn all of this to survive in this world. Unless she wants to be a loser, or gets extremely lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She ended up calling in and quitting. She was going to get fired anyway, and since she's someone hates conflict, quitting was what she chose to do. She has a hard time standing up for herself. That doesn't mean she's always doing what other people tell her to do, but she's never rude, hostile, or intentionally tries to hurt anyone's feelings even when she disagrees.

She's also not a spender. She saves all the money she earns and doesn't ask anyone for money. We pay her phone bill, but even if I turned it off, she'd just use Wi-Fi to call him through FaceTime audio or video. She also has apps she uses to call people that don't require cell service, so shutting off the phone wouldn't really change much.

I don't know what she's going to do this summer now. It's going to be harder to find a new job this late, especially because there are certain jobs she doesn't like. She hates being out in the sun and prefers indoor work. I’m also worried that this will become a pattern, and that she’ll just get fired again. I guess she'll have to figure something out.

When she's not working, she'll usually stay in bed until around 2 p.m. talking on the phone, then come downstairs, grab some strawberries or carrots and maybe a bag of chips, and spend most of the afternoon on the couch using her phone.

Her boyfriend works too, so they don't spend every waking minute together. In the evenings she usually sees him after work. Sometimes they go exercise or go to the gym together, and by the time they're done it's late like 11, so she'll shower at his house and stay the night. Some nights they'll go out to a party or hang out with friends, but that's not most nights. Other days, if they skip the gym, he'll come over for dinner and sometimes she wants him to spend the night. Or she'll go to his house and spend the day there. Sometimes she spends several days in a row there. She sleeps over there quite a bit and isn’t always just sitting at home.

She’ll have to now try to find other things to do though. OP

Oh thank goodness I was so worried about this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who pays for the phone? Because if it's you, she's not going to be on her phone all summer unless you keep paying for it, which I would not do. If she wants a phone for the rest of the summer, she gets a job to pay the bill.

She could go to the manager with a plan to eliminate phone use during her shifts: locking it in her glove box, for example. Or if there are lockers for employees, turning it off and leaving it in the locker. That's probably her only chance.

This is the way. What is she doing in the Fall? I would consider paying for the phone again if my kid found a volunteer opportunity.

[Anonymous]

Her boyfriend works too, so they don't spend every waking minute together. In the evenings she usually sees him after work. Sometimes they go exercise or go to the gym together, and by the time they're done it's late like 11, so she'll shower at his house and stay the night. Some nights they'll go out to a party or hang out with friends, but that's not most nights. Other days, if they skip the gym, he'll come over for dinner and sometimes she wants him to spend the night. Or she'll go to his house and spend the day there. Sometimes she spends several days in a row there. She sleeps over there quite a bit and isn’t always just sitting at home.

Hope you're ready to be a grandma (bonus; a baby will definitely keep her off her phone!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Her boyfriend works too, so they don't spend every waking minute together. In the evenings she usually sees him after work. Sometimes they go exercise or go to the gym together, and by the time they're done it's late like 11, so she'll shower at his house and stay the night. Some nights they'll go out to a party or hang out with friends, but that's not most nights. Other days, if they skip the gym, he'll come over for dinner and sometimes she wants him to spend the night. Or she'll go to his house and spend the day there. Sometimes she spends several days in a row there. She sleeps over there quite a bit and isn’t always just sitting at home.

Hope you're ready to be a grandma (bonus; a baby will definitely keep her off her phone!)

Not if grandma feels bad and picks up the slack, which is likely to happen here.

[Anonymous]

Good

It is not unrealistic to expect employees to be focused on their jobs while they are working.

Better she learns this lesson now than at a "real" job after college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she going off to college in September? Will the college be far away from where she is living now?
I am thinking that probably she sabotaged her job on purpose because she didn't want a job in the first place and wanted to spend her last summer at home hanging with friends (or at least the boyfriend) before she moves away.

the loser will go to junior college

[Anonymous]

She needs to suffer the consequences of her actions.

The end.

[Anonymous]

Parents in this area raise spoiled and entitled elementary schoolers and are then shocked, SHOCKED, when the child grows up to be a spoiled and entitled teen and young adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good

It is not unrealistic to expect employees to be focused on their jobs while they are working.

Better she learns this lesson now than at a "real" job after college.

She is not going to college. She is going to be an aesthetician.

[Anonymous]

It’s not a particularly important job, and people make mistakes when they’re young—this isn’t a moral failing. Making mistakes while young is good for her. Getting fired at that age isn’t the end of the world. A lot of Gen X people seem quick to criticize Gen Z teens and young adults unnecessarily, but she’s going to be fine. At 15-18, my boyfriend—who is now my husband—was more important to me than a cashier job, and honestly that’s probably how it should be.

This board also feels full of high-achieving women who prioritize careers above everything else and are quick to label an 18-year-old a failure just for talking to her boyfriend, which is a pretty extreme take. I have a daughter in her 20s, and I wouldn’t be upset about something like that either. It’s not like anyone was harmed or anything dangerous happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I can’t believe you are asking this question.

If my child got fired for something like this, the phone would be gone for the rest of the summer.

You created this problem.

+1