18yo about to be let go from summer job because of phone use

[Anonymous]

DD is 18 and started a summer job in May. She’s working at a restaurant. Her manager has basically told her he’s going to let her go soon because she’s on the phone too much during shifts.
From what I understand it’s not social media, she doesn’t really use social media,she’s just constantly FaceTiming/calling her boyfriend during work. Apparently it’s been going on for weeks and she’s been warned multiple times, but it hasn’t changed enough so now they’re at the point of letting her go.

I only just found out it’s this serious.
Part of me gets it — obviously you can’t be on your phone during a shift like that. But part of me is also frustrated because now she’s basically going to be at home all summer (until September) on her phone.

She’s upset and says she didn’t think it was “that bad,” but clearly it was. She says her boyfriend kept calling her, and she didn’t want to say no.
I’m not sure what the right move is here. Do I just let the consequences happen and hope she learns from it, or is there something she can do at this point with the manager to try to fix it and not lose the job? I don’t want her just sitting at home glued to her phone all summer either.

[Anonymous]

There’s a lot going on here, but what I would first address is why her boyfriend calls her when he knows she’s at work. Is he controlling in other ways?

[Anonymous]

It’s not hard, she can get off her phone! Just cold turkey stop.

[Anonymous]

Leave the phone at home during work time. Job is more important than boyfriend. He does not respect her time and responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is 18 and started a summer job in May. She’s working at a restaurant. Her manager has basically told her he’s going to let her go soon because she’s on the phone too much during shifts.
From what I understand it’s not social media, she doesn’t really use social media,she’s just constantly FaceTiming/calling her boyfriend during work. Apparently it’s been going on for weeks and she’s been warned multiple times, but it hasn’t changed enough so now they’re at the point of letting her go.

I only just found out it’s this serious.
Part of me gets it — obviously you can’t be on your phone during a shift like that. But part of me is also frustrated because now she’s basically going to be at home all summer (until September) on her phone.

She’s upset and says she didn’t think it was “that bad,” but clearly it was. She says her boyfriend kept calling her, and she didn’t want to say no.
I’m not sure what the right move is here. Do I just let the consequences happen and hope she learns from it, or is there something she can do at this point with the manager to try to fix it and not lose the job? I don’t want her just sitting at home glued to her phone all summer either.

Quit job immediately.
Tell manager its her problem now that they are short handed.
Buh bye.

[Anonymous]

OP I can’t believe you are asking this question.

If my child got fired for something like this, the phone would be gone for the rest of the summer.

You created this problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is 18 and started a summer job in May. She’s working at a restaurant. Her manager has basically told her he’s going to let her go soon because she’s on the phone too much during shifts.
From what I understand it’s not social media, she doesn’t really use social media,she’s just constantly FaceTiming/calling her boyfriend during work. Apparently it’s been going on for weeks and she’s been warned multiple times, but it hasn’t changed enough so now they’re at the point of letting her go.

I only just found out it’s this serious.
Part of me gets it — obviously you can’t be on your phone during a shift like that. But part of me is also frustrated because now she’s basically going to be at home all summer (until September) on her phone.

She’s upset and says she didn’t think it was “that bad,” but clearly it was. She says her boyfriend kept calling her, and she didn’t want to say no.
I’m not sure what the right move is here. Do I just let the consequences happen and hope she learns from it, or is there something she can do at this point with the manager to try to fix it and not lose the job? I don’t want her just sitting at home glued to her phone all summer either.

Quit job immediately.
Tell manager its her problem now that they are short handed.
Buh bye.

You have got to be troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s a lot going on here, but what I would first address is why her boyfriend calls her when he knows she’s at work. Is he controlling in other ways?

How do we know she’s not encouraging him by saying it’s slow at work, etc?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leave the phone at home during work time. Job is more important than boyfriend. He does not respect her time and responsibilities.

Again, how do we know she’s not encouraging him?

[Anonymous]

Tell her to keep her phone turned OFF before she starts her shift and keep it off until her shift is over. Maybe if she gets a break she can check her phone during the break, but then she should be sure to turn it off.

She should apologize to the manager and explain her plan for how she will act going forward. Tell her you expect her to work it out and keep her job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I can’t believe you are asking this question.

If my child got fired for something like this, the phone would be gone for the rest of the summer.

You created this problem.

This.

No you can’t intervene with the manager. Yes you should let her get fired and hope it’s public and humiliating. They have given her way more leeway than I would.

Why doesn’t she feel comfortable saying no to her boyfriend? Is he abusive or is she a people pleaser? Neither ends well.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like she’s been talked to multiple times and for whatever reason chooses to ignore what her manager is telling her. Absolutely she should face consequences. I don’t think it’s your place to address the manager. If you don’t want her sitting at home I believe you can guide her by letting her know the consequences of being fired and what that will look like on the home front. I think she would have a chance of keeping job if she lets manager know she realizes her mistake and is committed to not being on her phone and has made the decision to leave phone in the car during shift. Then apologize for not meeting expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s a lot going on here, but what I would first address is why her boyfriend calls her when he knows she’s at work. Is he controlling in other ways?

+1 and her not setting a boundary by declining the calls and saying she's at work. There is a bigger issue along with phone addiction.

OP no point in being upset with the restaurant, they are trying to run a business and serve customers and it's fair of them to have expectations. Not like she got for for taking one call during some urgent family or medical issue.

[Anonymous]

Are you paying for the phone OP? If so, you should stop paying immediately. And don’t give her $ for anything else.

Also—sorry, but, your daughter isn’t very bright. All kinds of issues here from irresponsibility to impulse control to being coddled to the point that she thinks it’s ok to be fired.

[Anonymous]

I would worry about whether the boyfriend is controlling, whether she has habitual issues with understanding verbal and non-verbal cues, and whether there could be a possibility the manager is being too exacting. Regardless, she's an at will employee, and this should be a valuable lesson, to prioritize her earning potential and to not ignore management.