18yo about to be let go from summer job because of phone use

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She ended up calling in and quitting. She was going to get fired anyway, and since she's someone hates conflict, quitting was what she chose to do. She has a hard time standing up for herself. That doesn't mean she's always doing what other people tell her to do, but she's never rude, hostile, or intentionally tries to hurt anyone's feelings even when she disagrees.

She's also not a spender. She saves all the money she earns and doesn't ask anyone for money. We pay her phone bill, but even if I turned it off, she'd just use Wi-Fi to call him through FaceTime audio or video. She also has apps she uses to call people that don't require cell service, so shutting off the phone wouldn't really change much.

I don't know what she's going to do this summer now. It's going to be harder to find a new job this late, especially because there are certain jobs she doesn't like. She hates being out in the sun and prefers indoor work. I’m also worried that this will become a pattern, and that she’ll just get fired again. I guess she'll have to figure something out.

When she's not working, she'll usually stay in bed until around 2 p.m. talking on the phone, then come downstairs, grab some strawberries or carrots and maybe a bag of chips, and spend most of the afternoon on the couch using her phone.

Her boyfriend works too, so they don't spend every waking minute together. In the evenings she usually sees him after work. Sometimes they go exercise or go to the gym together, and by the time they're done it's late like 11, so she'll shower at his house and stay the night. Some nights they'll go out to a party or hang out with friends, but that's not most nights. Other days, if they skip the gym, he'll come over for dinner and sometimes she wants him to spend the night. Or she'll go to his house and spend the day there. Sometimes she spends several days in a row there. She sleeps over there quite a bit and isn’t always just sitting at home.

She’ll have to now try to find other things to do though. OP

You need a Time Machine and a Parenting 101 class.

SMH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she going off to college in September? Will the college be far away from where she is living now?
I am thinking that probably she sabotaged her job on purpose because she didn't want a job in the first place and wanted to spend her last summer at home hanging with friends (or at least the boyfriend) before she moves away.

the loser will go to junior college

What the hell is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a particularly important job, and people make mistakes when they’re young—this isn’t a moral failing. Making mistakes while young is good for her. Getting fired at that age isn’t the end of the world. A lot of Gen X people seem quick to criticize Gen Z teens and young adults unnecessarily, but she’s going to be fine. At 15-18, my boyfriend—who is now my husband—was more important to me than a cashier job, and honestly that’s probably how it should be.

This board also feels full of high-achieving women who prioritize careers above everything else and are quick to label an 18-year-old a failure just for talking to her boyfriend, which is a pretty extreme take. I have a daughter in her 20s, and I wouldn’t be upset about something like that either. It’s not like anyone was harmed or anything dangerous happened.

This excuse-making is utterly pathetic. Being an adult comes with real responsibility, and waving away lack of responsibility as “no big deal” is simply wrong. Yes, I’m GenX, but standards should erode this far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is 18 and started a summer job in May. She’s working at a restaurant. Her manager has basically told her he’s going to let her go soon because she’s on the phone too much during shifts.
From what I understand it’s not social media, she doesn’t really use social media,she’s just constantly FaceTiming/calling her boyfriend during work. Apparently it’s been going on for weeks and she’s been warned multiple times, but it hasn’t changed enough so now they’re at the point of letting her go.

I only just found out it’s this serious.
Part of me gets it — obviously you can’t be on your phone during a shift like that. But part of me is also frustrated because now she’s basically going to be at home all summer (until September) on her phone.

She’s upset and says she didn’t think it was “that bad,” but clearly it was. She says her boyfriend kept calling her, and she didn’t want to say no.
I’m not sure what the right move is here. Do I just let the consequences happen and hope she learns from it, or is there something she can do at this point with the manager to try to fix it and not lose the job? I don’t want her just sitting at home glued to her phone all summer either.

She loses this job and she 100% has to find another. Kudos to her manager for following through. You sound like an enabler though "she's not on social media, it's just her boyfriend".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She ended up calling in and quitting. She was going to get fired anyway, and since she's someone hates conflict, quitting was what she chose to do. She has a hard time standing up for herself. That doesn't mean she's always doing what other people tell her to do, but she's never rude, hostile, or intentionally tries to hurt anyone's feelings even when she disagrees.

She's also not a spender. She saves all the money she earns and doesn't ask anyone for money. We pay her phone bill, but even if I turned it off, she'd just use Wi-Fi to call him through FaceTime audio or video. She also has apps she uses to call people that don't require cell service, so shutting off the phone wouldn't really change much.

I don't know what she's going to do this summer now. It's going to be harder to find a new job this late, especially because there are certain jobs she doesn't like. She hates being out in the sun and prefers indoor work. I’m also worried that this will become a pattern, and that she’ll just get fired again. I guess she'll have to figure something out.

When she's not working, she'll usually stay in bed until around 2 p.m. talking on the phone, then come downstairs, grab some strawberries or carrots and maybe a bag of chips, and spend most of the afternoon on the couch using her phone.

Her boyfriend works too, so they don't spend every waking minute together. In the evenings she usually sees him after work. Sometimes they go exercise or go to the gym together, and by the time they're done it's late like 11, so she'll shower at his house and stay the night. Some nights they'll go out to a party or hang out with friends, but that's not most nights. Other days, if they skip the gym, he'll come over for dinner and sometimes she wants him to spend the night. Or she'll go to his house and spend the day there. Sometimes she spends several days in a row there. She sleeps over there quite a bit and isn’t always just sitting at home.

She’ll have to now try to find other things to do though. OP

Wow, you can justify anything for your princess, can't you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She says he’s mostly calling her, but I’d say it’s half and half. She is an extreme people pleaser and never says no to anyone. She doesn’t want to leave the phone at home. OP

You need to work on this now. I would be through the roof if my kid was being fired from a job for insubordination. She is refusing to listen to the manager. Why is this ok with you?

She liked the job and didn’t want to get fired, but she also likes her boyfriend and couldn’t stop prioritizing talking to her boyfriend and over actually listening or doing what she was supposed to do. She never said no to her boss or argued with him, and he only talked to her once about it. The other times he gave her warnings, but I don’t think she understood because she wasn’t focusing. Being fired isn’t great and I’m not okay with it, but at 18 there’s only so much control you I left and she does whatever she wants. There’s not a lot I can do.

Her boyfriend is a very nice young man. He’s in college and is home working and being productive this summer.

She doesn’t want anything outdoors like lifeguarding or camps. She says she’ll work any hours, but now that she’s been fired I’m not sure she’ll even be motivated to try again unless it’s something more engaging. She spends over 8 hours on the phone, mostly talking to him or watching videos. Open to ideas for jobs that might actually hold her attention.

Yikes. Adulting is going to throat punch her. Hard. But wait, Mommy will swoop in with excuses and justification. Listen to your damn self

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These response are odd. It’s just a part time summer job. Obviously at her age she prioritizes her boyfriend over her part time summer job. It doesn’t mean she’s a loser or that he’s a loser either. And alot of bosses are unfair, and target young people so I wouldn’t think my son was a bad evil kid because he got fired from his part time job at a restaurant. There’s a obvious superiority complex coming from a lot of people on this forum.

Because they want these kids to WORK when they're at WORK? Unfair bastards indeed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is 18 and started a summer job in May. She’s working at a restaurant. Her manager has basically told her he’s going to let her go soon because she’s on the phone too much during shifts.
From what I understand it’s not social media, she doesn’t really use social media,she’s just constantly FaceTiming/calling her boyfriend during work. Apparently it’s been going on for weeks and she’s been warned multiple times, but it hasn’t changed enough so now they’re at the point of letting her go.

I only just found out it’s this serious.
Part of me gets it — obviously you can’t be on your phone during a shift like that. But part of me is also frustrated because now she’s basically going to be at home all summer (until September) on her phone.

She’s upset and says she didn’t think it was “that bad,” but clearly it was. She says her boyfriend kept calling her, and she didn’t want to say no.
I’m not sure what the right move is here. Do I just let the consequences happen and hope she learns from it, or is there something she can do at this point with the manager to try to fix it and not lose the job? I don’t want her just sitting at home glued to her phone all summer either.

Quit job immediately.
Tell manager its her problem now that they are short handed.
Buh bye.

You have got to be troll

I think the OP is probably a troll. But it's a good wake up message for some parents.

+1
You guys don't need to get so fired up since the OP is a troll. But... I do think parents should help their kids stay less involved with their phones.

[Anonymous]

You hire her. Do not sent her out in the world to waste anyone's time, energy, and money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a particularly important job, and people make mistakes when they’re young—this isn’t a moral failing. Making mistakes while young is good for her. Getting fired at that age isn’t the end of the world. A lot of Gen X people seem quick to criticize Gen Z teens and young adults unnecessarily, but she’s going to be fine. At 15-18, my boyfriend—who is now my husband—was more important to me than a cashier job, and honestly that’s probably how it should be.

This board also feels full of high-achieving women who prioritize careers above everything else and are quick to label an 18-year-old a failure just for talking to her boyfriend, which is a pretty extreme take. I have a daughter in her 20s, and I wouldn’t be upset about something like that either. It’s not like anyone was harmed or anything dangerous happened.

Nobody is saying she's a failure "Just for talking to her boyfriend." The problem is that she is doing it often enough at work, and to the point of neglecting her actual job (that she is getting paid to do) to the point that it has been mentioned multiple times and has become a reason to fire her -- because she isn't worth the wage they are paying her.

You left all that part out.

[Anonymous]

Nope. She is not going to be at home all summer. She's going to go look for another job and learn from her mistake. These kids need to learn there are consequences and they can't just spend their life on a screen. I, for one, am sick of the excuse of C**** babies, etc like it's a free pass for this type of s***.

[Anonymous]

I worked as a general manager in the recreation industry for many years and the constant phone usage by youth while they were supposed to be working drove me nuts and I fired several people for it over the years because I had warned them several times and they just couldn't seem to get it through their heads that it isn't acceptable use of work time.

Sometimes people need to learn the hard way. Hopefully this is a wake up call for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let her get fired and then insist she find another job, either paid or volunteer. Better to learn the lesson now while she doesn't have real bills to pay.

This. Natural consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents in this area raise spoiled and entitled elementary schoolers and are then shocked, SHOCKED, when the child grows up to be a spoiled and entitled teen and young adult.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its too late to get a camp job for any decent camp and for lifeguarding she'd have to go through training.

Tell her to grow up and find another job or there is no spending money and limit the phone.

Lifeguards really need to focus! Can't think of a worse idea for this DD.

+1 please don’t make this a safety issue for other kids