18yo about to be let go from summer job because of phone use

[Anonymous]

This thread makes me very grateful for my parents.

We had chores. I had paid work, for my dad, starting at age 11 or 12. Cataloging his library, helping to build a fence, plus babysitting and picking vegetables. When I got a real job, I understood that they were giving me money in exchange for work.

Your daughter doesn't understand this, and you haven't been helping her.

[Anonymous]

Is there some reason she can't leave her phone off during her shift? If she gets fired she needs to be looking for a new job the next day.

Ds worked in a grocery store in high school. Phones were not allowed on the floor, period.

[Anonymous]

DD is working at a law firm this summer. I told her to keep her phone locked in her desk all day. She is doing well and the partners are bringing her in to all kinds of work. Our kids need our guidance. No more excuses for this kind of behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is 18 and started a summer job in May. She’s working at a restaurant. Her manager has basically told her he’s going to let her go soon because she’s on the phone too much during shifts.
From what I understand it’s not social media, she doesn’t really use social media,she’s just constantly FaceTiming/calling her boyfriend during work. Apparently it’s been going on for weeks and she’s been warned multiple times, but it hasn’t changed enough so now they’re at the point of letting her go.

I only just found out it’s this serious.
Part of me gets it — obviously you can’t be on your phone during a shift like that. But part of me is also frustrated because now she’s basically going to be at home all summer (until September) on her phone.

She’s upset and says she didn’t think it was “that bad,” but clearly it was. She says her boyfriend kept calling her, and she didn’t want to say no.
I’m not sure what the right move is here. Do I just let the consequences happen and hope she learns from it, or is there something she can do at this point with the manager to try to fix it and not lose the job? I don’t want her just sitting at home glued to her phone all summer either.

Quit job immediately.
Tell manager its her problem now that they are short handed.
Buh bye.

I’m sure they’d be fine with her leaving. I hate going into a restaurant only to be greeted with silence because the host is texting. It’s a terrible impression of the restaurant and for people being there the first time they might not want to go back.

She should have only needed to be told once and shut off her phone. Something is off with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is 18 and started a summer job in May. She’s working at a restaurant. Her manager has basically told her he’s going to let her go soon because she’s on the phone too much during shifts.
From what I understand it’s not social media, she doesn’t really use social media,she’s just constantly FaceTiming/calling her boyfriend during work. Apparently it’s been going on for weeks and she’s been warned multiple times, but it hasn’t changed enough so now they’re at the point of letting her go.

I only just found out it’s this serious.
Part of me gets it — obviously you can’t be on your phone during a shift like that. But part of me is also frustrated because now she’s basically going to be at home all summer (until September) on her phone.

She’s upset and says she didn’t think it was “that bad,” but clearly it was. She says her boyfriend kept calling her, and she didn’t want to say no.
I’m not sure what the right move is here. Do I just let the consequences happen and hope she learns from it, or is there something she can do at this point with the manager to try to fix it and not lose the job? I don’t want her just sitting at home glued to her phone all summer either.

Quit job immediately.
Tell manager its her problem now that they are short handed.
Buh bye.

I’m sure they’d be fine with her leaving. I hate going into a restaurant only to be greeted with silence because the host is texting. It’s a terrible impression of the restaurant and for people being there the first time they might not want to go back.

She should have only needed to be told once and shut off her phone. Something is off with her.

This is off topic but oh how I long for the restaurant of the future where I sit down, choose food on the screen, robot brings it to me, I pay using the screen and I leave. No tip, no hassle, no useless hostesses whose only function is to try and seat you at the worst table, no useless waiters expecting 20% tip!
Sorry, got carried away

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked as a general manager in the recreation industry for many years and the constant phone usage by youth while they were supposed to be working drove me nuts and I fired several people for it over the years because I had warned them several times and they just couldn't seem to get it through their heads that it isn't acceptable use of work time.

Sometimes people need to learn the hard way. Hopefully this is a wake up call for her.

I think your perspective is the most valuable here!
Why do you think some kids are worse offenders than others?
Is it parenting or just the personality and maybe neuro differences?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a particularly important job, and people make mistakes when they’re young—this isn’t a moral failing. Making mistakes while young is good for her. Getting fired at that age isn’t the end of the world. A lot of Gen X people seem quick to criticize Gen Z teens and young adults unnecessarily, but she’s going to be fine. At 15-18, my boyfriend—who is now my husband—was more important to me than a cashier job, and honestly that’s probably how it should be.

This board also feels full of high-achieving women who prioritize careers above everything else and are quick to label an 18-year-old a failure just for talking to her boyfriend, which is a pretty extreme take. I have a daughter in her 20s, and I wouldn’t be upset about something like that either. It’s not like anyone was harmed or anything dangerous happened.

I agree with this.
I am sure many posters made worse mistakes when they were younger

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good

It is not unrealistic to expect employees to be focused on their jobs while they are working.

Better she learns this lesson now than at a "real" job after college.

This exactly
My 16 yo doesn’t believe me he might get fired for phone use

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a particularly important job, and people make mistakes when they’re young—this isn’t a moral failing. Making mistakes while young is good for her. Getting fired at that age isn’t the end of the world. A lot of Gen X people seem quick to criticize Gen Z teens and young adults unnecessarily, but she’s going to be fine. At 15-18, my boyfriend—who is now my husband—was more important to me than a cashier job, and honestly that’s probably how it should be.

This board also feels full of high-achieving women who prioritize careers above everything else and are quick to label an 18-year-old a failure just for talking to her boyfriend, which is a pretty extreme take. I have a daughter in her 20s, and I wouldn’t be upset about something like that either. It’s not like anyone was harmed or anything dangerous happened.

I agree with this.
I am sure many posters made worse mistakes when they were younger

Doesn't matter whether other people did worse or better. This is still unacceptable behavior in an employee. Which, fine, it is what it is, but firing her was the right thing to do. Hopefully she learns and changes. She might.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a particularly important job, and people make mistakes when they’re young—this isn’t a moral failing. Making mistakes while young is good for her. Getting fired at that age isn’t the end of the world. A lot of Gen X people seem quick to criticize Gen Z teens and young adults unnecessarily, but she’s going to be fine. At 15-18, my boyfriend—who is now my husband—was more important to me than a cashier job, and honestly that’s probably how it should be.

This board also feels full of high-achieving women who prioritize careers above everything else and are quick to label an 18-year-old a failure just for talking to her boyfriend, which is a pretty extreme take. I have a daughter in her 20s, and I wouldn’t be upset about something like that either. It’s not like anyone was harmed or anything dangerous happened.

I agree with this.
I am sure many posters made worse mistakes when they were younger

Doesn't matter whether other people did worse or better. This is still unacceptable behavior in an employee. Which, fine, it is what it is, but firing her was the right thing to do. Hopefully she learns and changes. She might.

Oh yes I agree with the consequences.
I just think many posters are too harsh. Mistakes are natural at that age

[Anonymous]

Per my ds who supervises kids this age, it’s a VERY common problem. Kids are addicted. He has to actually gather their phones before shifts. Your dd keeps being reprimanded not fired yet bc other employees have the same problem. The choice is apologize, mean it and stop using phone, or likely lose the job. It’s also not the end of the world to learn this lesson the hard way. It’s a good age for lessons.

[Anonymous]

Hopefully she learns her lesson.

I'd require she find another job straight away. Is this job fun money for her? Sounds like fun stuff goes away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is 18 and started a summer job in May. She’s working at a restaurant. Her manager has basically told her he’s going to let her go soon because she’s on the phone too much during shifts.
From what I understand it’s not social media, she doesn’t really use social media,she’s just constantly FaceTiming/calling her boyfriend during work. Apparently it’s been going on for weeks and she’s been warned multiple times, but it hasn’t changed enough so now they’re at the point of letting her go.

I only just found out it’s this serious.
Part of me gets it — obviously you can’t be on your phone during a shift like that. But part of me is also frustrated because now she’s basically going to be at home all summer (until September) on her phone.

She’s upset and says she didn’t think it was “that bad,” but clearly it was. She says her boyfriend kept calling her, and she didn’t want to say no.
I’m not sure what the right move is here. Do I just let the consequences happen and hope she learns from it, or is there something she can do at this point with the manager to try to fix it and not lose the job? I don’t want her just sitting at home glued to her phone all summer either.

Quit job immediately.
Tell manager its her problem now that they are short handed.
Buh bye.

I’m sure they’d be fine with her leaving. I hate going into a restaurant only to be greeted with silence because the host is texting. It’s a terrible impression of the restaurant and for people being there the first time they might not want to go back.

She should have only needed to be told once and shut off her phone. Something is off with her.

This is off topic but oh how I long for the restaurant of the future where I sit down, choose food on the screen, robot brings it to me, I pay using the screen and I leave. No tip, no hassle, no useless hostesses whose only function is to try and seat you at the worst table, no useless waiters expecting 20% tip!
Sorry, got carried away

LOL. They don't even need robots. That would be too far into the future. They can have conveyor belts deliver the food. I feel like this already exists though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She ended up calling in and quitting. She was going to get fired anyway, and since she's someone hates conflict, quitting was what she chose to do. She has a hard time standing up for herself. That doesn't mean she's always doing what other people tell her to do, but she's never rude, hostile, or intentionally tries to hurt anyone's feelings even when she disagrees.

She's also not a spender. She saves all the money she earns and doesn't ask anyone for money. We pay her phone bill, but even if I turned it off, she'd just use Wi-Fi to call him through FaceTime audio or video. She also has apps she uses to call people that don't require cell service, so shutting off the phone wouldn't really change much.

I don't know what she's going to do this summer now. It's going to be harder to find a new job this late, especially because there are certain jobs she doesn't like. She hates being out in the sun and prefers indoor work. I’m also worried that this will become a pattern, and that she’ll just get fired again. I guess she'll have to figure something out.

When she's not working, she'll usually stay in bed until around 2 p.m. talking on the phone, then come downstairs, grab some strawberries or carrots and maybe a bag of chips, and spend most of the afternoon on the couch using her phone.

Her boyfriend works too, so they don't spend every waking minute together. In the evenings she usually sees him after work. Sometimes they go exercise or go to the gym together, and by the time they're done it's late like 11, so she'll shower at his house and stay the night. Some nights they'll go out to a party or hang out with friends, but that's not most nights. Other days, if they skip the gym, he'll come over for dinner and sometimes she wants him to spend the night. Or she'll go to his house and spend the day there. Sometimes she spends several days in a row there. She sleeps over there quite a bit and isn’t always just sitting at home.

She’ll have to now try to find other things to do though. OP

You seem like a really lacking, permissive, unengaged parent who is not instilling the right values. Why are you recounting for us the detailed schedule of your daughter's days? Why are you not talking about punishments and consequences? Why is taking away your daughter's phone not even remotely on the table here as a consequence? This has to be a troll. You might end up with a teen mother for a daughter if you're not careful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She ended up calling in and quitting. She was going to get fired anyway, and since she's someone hates conflict, quitting was what she chose to do. She has a hard time standing up for herself. That doesn't mean she's always doing what other people tell her to do, but she's never rude, hostile, or intentionally tries to hurt anyone's feelings even when she disagrees.

She's also not a spender. She saves all the money she earns and doesn't ask anyone for money. We pay her phone bill, but even if I turned it off, she'd just use Wi-Fi to call him through FaceTime audio or video. She also has apps she uses to call people that don't require cell service, so shutting off the phone wouldn't really change much.

I don't know what she's going to do this summer now. It's going to be harder to find a new job this late, especially because there are certain jobs she doesn't like. She hates being out in the sun and prefers indoor work. I’m also worried that this will become a pattern, and that she’ll just get fired again. I guess she'll have to figure something out.

When she's not working, she'll usually stay in bed until around 2 p.m. talking on the phone, then come downstairs, grab some strawberries or carrots and maybe a bag of chips, and spend most of the afternoon on the couch using her phone.

Her boyfriend works too, so they don't spend every waking minute together. In the evenings she usually sees him after work. Sometimes they go exercise or go to the gym together, and by the time they're done it's late like 11, so she'll shower at his house and stay the night. Some nights they'll go out to a party or hang out with friends, but that's not most nights. Other days, if they skip the gym, he'll come over for dinner and sometimes she wants him to spend the night. Or she'll go to his house and spend the day there. Sometimes she spends several days in a row there. She sleeps over there quite a bit and isn’t always just sitting at home.

She’ll have to now try to find other things to do though. OP

You seem like a really lacking, permissive, unengaged parent who is not instilling the right values. Why are you recounting for us the detailed schedule of your daughter's days? Why are you not talking about punishments and consequences? Why is taking away your daughter's phone not even remotely on the table here as a consequence? This has to be a troll. You might end up with a teen mother for a daughter if you're not careful.

This actually read to me like the daughter wrote it. The overexplanations, the odd focus, the carefully distancing language.