You other parents are the problem....

[Anonymous]

I can't believe how many of my teen's friends' parents let them keep their phones and laptops in their bedrooms overnight. I am apparently the mean, super strict parent who makes my teen put his technology in my bedroom overnight. He keeps begging to keep it so he can snapchat with whatever girl he is interested in or friends. He says it is embarrassing that he has to stop talking to someone at 11:30 when the girl's parents let her have the phone in her room overnight.

I don't get why parents are letting their kids have unfettered access to a device that is shown to be so harmful to teens. Do we really want our teens up until the wee hours scrolling and getting 4-6 hours of sleep? I am sure the sleep deprivation is as big of a problem as the social media.

People who let their teens have access to phones/laptops overnight - do you think it's good for them to be on them all night? Do you think they're honestly putting it away at a responsible hour? Or is the fight over it just too much trouble (it is a TON of trouble, let me assure you).

[Anonymous]

I never felt the need to make that rule. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

preach

[Anonymous]

Yes. Also the parents that let their kids have tick tock.

[Anonymous]

Um, accepting your premise that other people are the problem.

What is your plan for how to parent your child in light of that reality?

[Anonymous]

It's really frustrating OP but trust me, you aren't the only ones. Kids are like this. They'll know *one* kid who is up texting until 2 am and then complain that "everyone" gets to keep their phones in their room and "everyone" else's parents let them text whenever they want.

It's always the same. And your kid isn't even intentionally lying, their perspective is just skewed. They do this all throughout childhood and adolescents. Everyone else has treats in their lunch. Everyone else gets to watch more TV. Everyone else gets to stay home alone. Everyone else has a phone. Everyone else wears makeup. Everyone else gets to go to this party with no parents present. And on and on.

Stay strong. It's not everyone! Lots of us are holding the same lines you are.

[Anonymous]

11:30 is very generous. Good for you, OP.

Those of us who care about keeping our kids healthy, safe and engaged with the world are setting and reinforcing boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:11:30 is very generous. Good for you, OP.

Those of us who care about keeping our kids healthy, safe and engaged with the world are setting and reinforcing boundaries.

Wait, am I tracking that the assertion here is that because I don't have the same specific rule about this specific thing as you, I therefore do not care about keeping my kid safe healthy and engaged with the world?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:11:30 is very generous. Good for you, OP.

Those of us who care about keeping our kids healthy, safe and engaged with the world are setting and reinforcing boundaries.

+1. Stay strong, OP.

[Anonymous]

You could have worded this better, but yes, you're doing the right thing and you're not alone. My kids charge their devices downstairs, including school laptops, Apple Watches, etc. They don't have their own tablets or laptops, they are family devices, and we keep them in the office.

[Anonymous]

Your kids will be better for it, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, accepting your premise that other people are the problem.

What is your plan for how to parent your child in light of that reality?

Are you really that dull? She IS parenting her child. She's just venting about the flack we all get listening to our kids complain because their friends parents are too permissive. Doesn't mean we're going to cave. Good Lord.

[Anonymous]

Your son could always be saying, "I need my sleep". He is choosing to offer the information that his parents are controlling him.

[Anonymous]

News flash: not all families are going to have the same rules.

I don't take my teen's phone at night, as long as he gets up in the morning without complaint, keeps his grades up, stays engaged in activities like sports or theater, and seems to have healthy friendships.

But I'm strict in other ways that the take-the-phone parents aren't. And believe me, I hear just as much from my teen about what your teen is allowed to do, as you hear from your teen about mine having his phone at night.

Kids will selectively notice when other kids have more leeway. You just have to stick by your rules and accept that other households will do things differently.

[Anonymous]

11:30 PM? You should not be posting about this when you are equally as bad. My teens don't get to keep their phones on them at home. They are in our bedroom. If they take them or use them without permission they go in a locked box.