Son only cousin excluded from nephew's wedding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I traveled from Seattle to Princeton NJ for my first cousin's wedding. We actually lived together as kids for a few years. My mother had money, his did not, so we took them in so we were more like brothers than cousins

I only learned we werent invited to the rehearsal dinner about 3 hours before it started.

So, my wife and I traveled 2386 miles, and three time zones, to literally sit in our hotel room while the dinner went on.

We went to the wedding the next day and took the first flight back the next morning. I sent them some towels and never spoke to them again. That was 2000.

They did reach out about 6 or 7 years ago asking if their son could stay with us while touring UW. I never answered him.

You expected to be invited to your cousin’s rehearsal dinner (even though you had no role in the wedding) because your mom had helped his mom out when you were young? Some of you really need to get some help for your pettiness and main character syndrome.

DP. I don't know your culture but in middle class whitebread weddings, out of town family that travelled great distances are ALWAYS invited to the rehearsal dinner. Rehearsal dinners have not been just for the wedding party since about 1982.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I traveled from Seattle to Princeton NJ for my first cousin's wedding. We actually lived together as kids for a few years. My mother had money, his did not, so we took them in so we were more like brothers than cousins

I only learned we werent invited to the rehearsal dinner about 3 hours before it started.

So, my wife and I traveled 2386 miles, and three time zones, to literally sit in our hotel room while the dinner went on.

We went to the wedding the next day and took the first flight back the next morning. I sent them some towels and never spoke to them again. That was 2000.

They did reach out about 6 or 7 years ago asking if their son could stay with us while touring UW. I never answered him.

You sat and pouted in the hotel room instead of just grabbing dinner on your own? Sounds needlessly dramatic. I don't even think most men think about a rehearsal dinner and who would or would not be invited. You weren't even a groomsman, clearly not "just like brothers".

The proper quote was 'more like brothers', not 'just like brothers'. That is a huge difference and everyone knows it, but you, apparently.

I love it when people get caught lying to protect their own exaggerations.

Anyway, I guess most of you are just broke. I can't remember the last wedding I went to that didn't include everyone in the rehersal dinner.

[Anonymous]

Can you nicely ask your nephew or his parents? Maybe there's an explanation or an oversight. Don't go to 11 yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is 9. He has several cousins scattered around the country, with three living in Texas. My oldest nephew, who I am closest to, is getting married in June. The wedding is 16+. All the other cousins will be able to attend, except my son. I have given this nephew a lot of financial support and gifts in the past - probably 15k over the last ten years. Now, I don't even want to go to the wedding because my kid is the only one from my nephew's side of the family being excluded. Plus, if we travel for the wedding, we would have to find a sitter in a city far from home while everyone we know in the city is at the wedding.

I may be more sensitive to this because my son is an only child and I had hoped he would have strong ties with his cousins, though they are all a bit older than him. But now I want to just cut go no-contact with this nephew.

Am I overreacting? Should we go to the wedding and pretend we aren't offended? Should the value of the wedding gift reflect how upset I am?

I read a few pages of replies and I want to ask the people sticking by the age cutoff: if the groom or bride had a 9 yr old sibling, should they not include them or should they invite all the other little kids so they are not offended by the 9 yr old that they invited?

Not including close family bc of an age cutoff is dumb.

The only thing i can think of is that the bride and groom are total ifiots snd will hopefully outgrow their silliness, but it’ll be after the wedding of course.

Anyone who equated siblings with a second cousin is, in your words, a "total ifiot."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I traveled from Seattle to Princeton NJ for my first cousin's wedding. We actually lived together as kids for a few years. My mother had money, his did not, so we took them in so we were more like brothers than cousins

I only learned we werent invited to the rehearsal dinner about 3 hours before it started.

So, my wife and I traveled 2386 miles, and three time zones, to literally sit in our hotel room while the dinner went on.

We went to the wedding the next day and took the first flight back the next morning. I sent them some towels and never spoke to them again. That was 2000.

They did reach out about 6 or 7 years ago asking if their son could stay with us while touring UW. I never answered him.

You sat and pouted in the hotel room instead of just grabbing dinner on your own? Sounds needlessly dramatic. I don't even think most men think about a rehearsal dinner and who would or would not be invited. You weren't even a groomsman, clearly not "just like brothers".

The proper quote was 'more like brothers', not 'just like brothers'. That is a huge difference and everyone knows it, but you, apparently.

I love it when people get caught lying to protect their own exaggerations.

Anyway, I guess most of you are just broke. I can't remember the last wedding I went to that didn't include everyone in the rehersal dinner.

Imagine getting this heated about a troll post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of the other cousins and not him? Yeah I just wouldn’t go (did not read the other responses)

+1. It's insanely rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I traveled from Seattle to Princeton NJ for my first cousin's wedding. We actually lived together as kids for a few years. My mother had money, his did not, so we took them in so we were more like brothers than cousins

I only learned we werent invited to the rehearsal dinner about 3 hours before it started.

So, my wife and I traveled 2386 miles, and three time zones, to literally sit in our hotel room while the dinner went on.

We went to the wedding the next day and took the first flight back the next morning. I sent them some towels and never spoke to them again. That was 2000.

They did reach out about 6 or 7 years ago asking if their son could stay with us while touring UW. I never answered him.

You expected to be invited to your cousin’s rehearsal dinner (even though you had no role in the wedding) because your mom had helped his mom out when you were young? Some of you really need to get some help for your pettiness and main character syndrome.

DP. I don't know your culture but in middle class whitebread weddings, out of town family that travelled great distances are ALWAYS invited to the rehearsal dinner. Rehearsal dinners have not been just for the wedding party since about 1982.

This.

I guess I don't know what middle class whitebread wedding customs are. Haven't been to many of those types of weddings. I would guess those also have a lot of cash bars and dollar dances. Maybe you can tell us more about the customs of your whitebread people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I traveled from Seattle to Princeton NJ for my first cousin's wedding. We actually lived together as kids for a few years. My mother had money, his did not, so we took them in so we were more like brothers than cousins

I only learned we werent invited to the rehearsal dinner about 3 hours before it started.

So, my wife and I traveled 2386 miles, and three time zones, to literally sit in our hotel room while the dinner went on.

We went to the wedding the next day and took the first flight back the next morning. I sent them some towels and never spoke to them again. That was 2000.

They did reach out about 6 or 7 years ago asking if their son could stay with us while touring UW. I never answered him.

You sat and pouted in the hotel room instead of just grabbing dinner on your own? Sounds needlessly dramatic. I don't even think most men think about a rehearsal dinner and who would or would not be invited. You weren't even a groomsman, clearly not "just like brothers".

The proper quote was 'more like brothers', not 'just like brothers'. That is a huge difference and everyone knows it, but you, apparently.

I love it when people get caught lying to protect their own exaggerations.

Anyway, I guess most of you are just broke. I can't remember the last wedding I went to that didn't include everyone in the rehersal dinner.

Imagine getting this heated about a troll post.

Imagine getting so heated that you literally had to make up fake quotes to prove your point....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your feelings are understandable. But I promise you this has nothing to do with your son - 100% this is driven by the bride, overall guest count and a gaggle of kids she's trying to tactfully exclude. So she chose 16 as the cutoff. My own 9 yr old would have been fine to stay with a good friend for a night or two. But if you're not comfortable with your babysitting options then you go alone or not at all. Then move past this.

This. 16 is reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I traveled from Seattle to Princeton NJ for my first cousin's wedding. We actually lived together as kids for a few years. My mother had money, his did not, so we took them in so we were more like brothers than cousins

I only learned we werent invited to the rehearsal dinner about 3 hours before it started.

So, my wife and I traveled 2386 miles, and three time zones, to literally sit in our hotel room while the dinner went on.

We went to the wedding the next day and took the first flight back the next morning. I sent them some towels and never spoke to them again. That was 2000.

They did reach out about 6 or 7 years ago asking if their son could stay with us while touring UW. I never answered him.

You expected to be invited to your cousin’s rehearsal dinner (even though you had no role in the wedding) because your mom had helped his mom out when you were young? Some of you really need to get some help for your pettiness and main character syndrome.

DP. I don't know your culture but in middle class whitebread weddings, out of town family that travelled great distances are ALWAYS invited to the rehearsal dinner. Rehearsal dinners have not been just for the wedding party since about 1982.

This.

I guess I don't know what middle class whitebread wedding customs are. Haven't been to many of those types of weddings. I would guess those also have a lot of cash bars and dollar dances. Maybe you can tell us more about the customs of your whitebread people?

They only wedding I ever went to that had a cash bar was a rich Jewish couple. And I've gone to 100+ weddings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I traveled from Seattle to Princeton NJ for my first cousin's wedding. We actually lived together as kids for a few years. My mother had money, his did not, so we took them in so we were more like brothers than cousins

I only learned we werent invited to the rehearsal dinner about 3 hours before it started.

So, my wife and I traveled 2386 miles, and three time zones, to literally sit in our hotel room while the dinner went on.

We went to the wedding the next day and took the first flight back the next morning. I sent them some towels and never spoke to them again. That was 2000.

They did reach out about 6 or 7 years ago asking if their son could stay with us while touring UW. I never answered him.

You sat and pouted in the hotel room instead of just grabbing dinner on your own? Sounds needlessly dramatic. I don't even think most men think about a rehearsal dinner and who would or would not be invited. You weren't even a groomsman, clearly not "just like brothers".

The proper quote was 'more like brothers', not 'just like brothers'. That is a huge difference and everyone knows it, but you, apparently.

I love it when people get caught lying to protect their own exaggerations.

Anyway, I guess most of you are just broke. I can't remember the last wedding I went to that didn't include everyone in the rehersal dinner.

Imagine getting this heated about a troll post.

Imagine getting so heated that you literally had to make up fake quotes to prove your point....

The point was already proven that he cried like a baby in a hotel room because he couldn't figure out how to eat. He told us himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I traveled from Seattle to Princeton NJ for my first cousin's wedding. We actually lived together as kids for a few years. My mother had money, his did not, so we took them in so we were more like brothers than cousins

I only learned we werent invited to the rehearsal dinner about 3 hours before it started.

So, my wife and I traveled 2386 miles, and three time zones, to literally sit in our hotel room while the dinner went on.

We went to the wedding the next day and took the first flight back the next morning. I sent them some towels and never spoke to them again. That was 2000.

They did reach out about 6 or 7 years ago asking if their son could stay with us while touring UW. I never answered him.

You expected to be invited to your cousin’s rehearsal dinner (even though you had no role in the wedding) because your mom had helped his mom out when you were young? Some of you really need to get some help for your pettiness and main character syndrome.

DP. I don't know your culture but in middle class whitebread weddings, out of town family that travelled great distances are ALWAYS invited to the rehearsal dinner. Rehearsal dinners have not been just for the wedding party since about 1982.

This.

I guess I don't know what middle class whitebread wedding customs are. Haven't been to many of those types of weddings. I would guess those also have a lot of cash bars and dollar dances. Maybe you can tell us more about the customs of your whitebread people?

They only wedding I ever went to that had a cash bar was a rich Jewish couple. And I've gone to 100+ weddings.

but what about the middle class whitebread weddings? tell us more...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is 9. He has several cousins scattered around the country, with three living in Texas. My oldest nephew, who I am closest to, is getting married in June. The wedding is 16+. All the other cousins will be able to attend, except my son. I have given this nephew a lot of financial support and gifts in the past - probably 15k over the last ten years. Now, I don't even want to go to the wedding because my kid is the only one from my nephew's side of the family being excluded. Plus, if we travel for the wedding, we would have to find a sitter in a city far from home while everyone we know in the city is at the wedding.

I may be more sensitive to this because my son is an only child and I had hoped he would have strong ties with his cousins, though they are all a bit older than him. But now I want to just cut go no-contact with this nephew.

Am I overreacting? Should we go to the wedding and pretend we aren't offended? Should the value of the wedding gift reflect how upset I am?

I read a few pages of replies and I want to ask the people sticking by the age cutoff: if the groom or bride had a 9 yr old sibling, should they not include them or should they invite all the other little kids so they are not offended by the 9 yr old that they invited?

Not including close family bc of an age cutoff is dumb.

The only thing i can think of is that the bride and groom are total ifiots snd will hopefully outgrow their silliness, but it’ll be after the wedding of course.

Anyone who equated siblings with a second cousin is, in your words, a "total ifiot."

Are you equating them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I traveled from Seattle to Princeton NJ for my first cousin's wedding. We actually lived together as kids for a few years. My mother had money, his did not, so we took them in so we were more like brothers than cousins

I only learned we werent invited to the rehearsal dinner about 3 hours before it started.

So, my wife and I traveled 2386 miles, and three time zones, to literally sit in our hotel room while the dinner went on.

We went to the wedding the next day and took the first flight back the next morning. I sent them some towels and never spoke to them again. That was 2000.

They did reach out about 6 or 7 years ago asking if their son could stay with us while touring UW. I never answered him.

You expected to be invited to your cousin’s rehearsal dinner (even though you had no role in the wedding) because your mom had helped his mom out when you were young? Some of you really need to get some help for your pettiness and main character syndrome.

DP. I don't know your culture but in middle class whitebread weddings, out of town family that travelled great distances are ALWAYS invited to the rehearsal dinner. Rehearsal dinners have not been just for the wedding party since about 1982.

This.

I guess I don't know what middle class whitebread wedding customs are. Haven't been to many of those types of weddings. I would guess those also have a lot of cash bars and dollar dances. Maybe you can tell us more about the customs of your whitebread people?

They only wedding I ever went to that had a cash bar was a rich Jewish couple. And I've gone to 100+ weddings.

but what about the middle class whitebread weddings? tell us more...

No cash bars
No dollar dances
Open bars with topshelf booze and craft, domestic and imported beer and wine
Heavy fancy apps
All inclusive Rehersal dinners
Most of the time tehre is aSunday brunch too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I traveled from Seattle to Princeton NJ for my first cousin's wedding. We actually lived together as kids for a few years. My mother had money, his did not, so we took them in so we were more like brothers than cousins

I only learned we werent invited to the rehearsal dinner about 3 hours before it started.

So, my wife and I traveled 2386 miles, and three time zones, to literally sit in our hotel room while the dinner went on.

We went to the wedding the next day and took the first flight back the next morning. I sent them some towels and never spoke to them again. That was 2000.

They did reach out about 6 or 7 years ago asking if their son could stay with us while touring UW. I never answered him.

You expected to be invited to your cousin’s rehearsal dinner (even though you had no role in the wedding) because your mom had helped his mom out when you were young? Some of you really need to get some help for your pettiness and main character syndrome.

DP. I don't know your culture but in middle class whitebread weddings, out of town family that travelled great distances are ALWAYS invited to the rehearsal dinner. Rehearsal dinners have not been just for the wedding party since about 1982.

This.

I guess I don't know what middle class whitebread wedding customs are. Haven't been to many of those types of weddings. I would guess those also have a lot of cash bars and dollar dances. Maybe you can tell us more about the customs of your whitebread people?

They only wedding I ever went to that had a cash bar was a rich Jewish couple. And I've gone to 100+ weddings.

but what about the middle class whitebread weddings? tell us more...

No cash bars
No dollar dances
Open bars with topshelf booze and craft, domestic and imported beer and wine
Heavy fancy apps
All inclusive Rehersal dinners
Most of the time tehre is aSunday brunch too.

But can they spell rehearsal?