When sorority rush goes wrong

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP.
I haven't been back since about page 2 of this thread. My daughter didn't attempt to rush the top tier houses. The ones she aimed for were somewhere around high mid to my understanding. She chose them because that's where she knew girls from her high school and that's where her current friends also put in bids. It worked out for the friends, it did not work out for her.

Her fall semester was pretty rough in the friend category because her dorm hall wasn't a great source of friends as her RA is pretty MIA and many girls on her hall are reclusive and a number of them live locally and go home on the weekends or visit boyfriends elsewhere. She was also not in a lecture of under 100 kids and most were close to or over 200. So the friend group she has was hard fought and cobbled together through girls she met at clubs, the dining hall, etc. The thought of losing touch with these fledgling relationships is really hard for her to think about. And it seems like she might as they'll all be joining different houses and my daughter will likely not. She knows that there is a big university out there (35K kids!) and she'll dig deep and keep trying but she's just bummed about this all.

She won’t lose them this year if it’s like my DD’s experience. They don’t live there. DD’s friends in sororities invited her to their formals etc. Not many have boyfriends. But she had great roommates that she chose and great hallmates. She was sad not to get ones she wanted but dealt w it with supportive friends. She’s in sorority she wanted this year but not living there. It’s not all that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP.
I haven't been back since about page 2 of this thread. My daughter didn't attempt to rush the top tier houses. The ones she aimed for were somewhere around high mid to my understanding. She chose them because that's where she knew girls from her high school and that's where her current friends also put in bids. It worked out for the friends, it did not work out for her.

Her fall semester was pretty rough in the friend category because her dorm hall wasn't a great source of friends as her RA is pretty MIA and many girls on her hall are reclusive and a number of them live locally and go home on the weekends or visit boyfriends elsewhere. She was also not in a lecture of under 100 kids and most were close to or over 200. So the friend group she has was hard fought and cobbled together through girls she met at clubs, the dining hall, etc. The thought of losing touch with these fledgling relationships is really hard for her to think about. And it seems like she might as they'll all be joining different houses and my daughter will likely not. She knows that there is a big university out there (35K kids!) and she'll dig deep and keep trying but she's just bummed about this all.

Consider transferring. If grades are good, some schools now have transfer ED (Northwestern) and Duke was actively looking for transfers last year bc increasing class size was important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What in the world is a lower tier house?

Presumably it's the fat chicks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What in the world is a lower tier house?

You asked so please don't shoot the messenger.

Typically physically unattractive and/or overweight.

Not shooting the messenger but this isn’t necessarily true. Top tier sororities are generally the extroverts who have a presence on TikTok or Instagram. Looking at pictures, they are not better looking than lower tier houses but just more ‘social’ and have the right designer attire (whether really or fake).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What in the world is a lower tier house?

You asked so please don't shoot the messenger.

Typically physically unattractive and/or overweight.

Wow you southern belle mamas really are a nasty, nasty bunch.

It's not only the Southern belles. It's the NYC and Boston girls too. It's all of it.
The higher the house, the thinner and hotter the girls.

I'm sorry, but you people are just so pathetic.

It's OK dear, they have ozempic now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The lowest tier houses mean she'll be separated from all her current friends. And the lower tier houses are not a guarantee themselves. She could very likely not be either of them either.

I guess my true question is (let's not get caught up in house tiering) is: what happened to your kid if they were either not matched to any house or separated from all their current friends? Did they bounce back socially? Did they transfer?

WTH?

College is not about rush for god's sake. What is wrong with you?

This is so dumb.

[Anonymous]

Many sororities offer snap bids after rush.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What in the world is a lower tier house?

Presumably it's the fat chicks

Or what that group considers ugly.

Why in the world women do this is beyond me.

My DD's and DS's did just fine without this crap.

[Anonymous]

OP those girls were never her "friends in HS"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe we allow this ridiculous Greek system to persist. As if women need more things in life that pit us against other women on the basis of how we look and encourage a judgmental class system where some are "in" and some are "out." The fact that she wants to transfer because she didn't get into one of the "good" sororities speaks to how mentally unhealthy this whole system is.

Michigan is a huge school where anyone can find their people if they try. Most students at Michigan aren't even in sororities or fraternities. Greek life just isn't a big thing there. I'm sure she feels like her entire college experience will be ruined, but maybe it's time for some perspective. Give it time, find some other clubs or groups, and maybe she rushes next year. Choose the people who choose you!

Who is "we?"

The Greek system is fun!

Also, your disdain for its recruitment practices doesn't matter because you are wrong.

YOU LEARN REAL LIFE SKILLS IN RUSH!

If you are in business, law, lead an academic medical department that relies heavily on donations, any leadership position, and almost any other profession - you NEED THE SKILLS that help you succeed in rush (both as a rusher and. Rusher)

Good presentation skills
Engaging small talk
Choosing the right clothes for the right occasion
Networking
Emotional intelligence
Selling yourself and building a positive reputation for yourself.

Honestly, if you can't make it through rush, you probably aren't going to do very well in the professional world, especially not at the leadership level

Also it helps if you can choreograph a mean ass-shaking routine.

[Anonymous]

These replies are so mean lol.

OP's DD is 18. Do you think you weren't into vapid things when you were 18? She's a year out from high school, ffs, and I think we all remember how competitive and shallow high school was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These replies are so mean lol.

OP's DD is 18. Do you think you weren't into vapid things when you were 18? She's a year out from high school, ffs, and I think we all remember how competitive and shallow high school was.

I recall precisely one person whose mother was emotionally involved in how rush turned out. We all felt sorry for her.

[Anonymous]

We commiserate when our kids don’t get into finance/pre-professional clubs or don’t get offered a roster spot or don’t make the paper/dance troupe/acapella group, etc. let’s show OP some empathy. OP- best to your daughter. If sorority rush doesn’t work out for her, I’m sure she’ll find her people and things elsewhere at Michigan and be happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These replies are so mean lol.

OP's DD is 18. Do you think you weren't into vapid things when you were 18? She's a year out from high school, ffs, and I think we all remember how competitive and shallow high school was.

I recall precisely one person whose mother was emotionally involved in how rush turned out. We all felt sorry for her.

Okay?

How would OP's kid's friend's know about this post? There's a difference between calling your kid every night to vent to her about how worried you are about her rush experience and seeking ideas for how to best support her on your town's anonymous mommy forum.

Some of you are so strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These replies are so mean lol.

OP's DD is 18. Do you think you weren't into vapid things when you were 18? She's a year out from high school, ffs, and I think we all remember how competitive and shallow high school was.

I recall precisely one person whose mother was emotionally involved in how rush turned out. We all felt sorry for her.

Okay?

How would OP's kid's friend's know about this post? There's a difference between calling your kid every night to vent to her about how worried you are about her rush experience and seeking ideas for how to best support her on your town's anonymous mommy forum.

Some of you are so strange.

The person who thinks it’s normal for a parent to be this emotionally involved in strange.