Are all the good men really taken by early thirties?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think 35 is a big turning point. Guys who remain single longer than that tend to be odd. You’re better off finding someone who’s been divorced once they’re past that point.

As a divorced man who is 46 and has 2 kids, I will not recommend a divorced man like me. Not only we are at the age where we have to worry about elderly parents, we have to worry about college, child support, and our career which is at the peak point. It's very unlikely that we want to remarry and raise kids again. And as a single woman who still has so much of her time and love to offer to someone, I don't think a divorced man juggling several responsibilities is the best you can do.

Women who have never had kids are better off with single men in similar situations.

I often see never married women with no kids getting married to divorce men and I just don't get it. I guess these men are extremely rich and can afford to start over and hire 2 nannies, outsource everything, can already retire right now and have enough for the next 100 years, I don't know it's strange

Women are beauty objects, men are success objects.

Duh of course. Look how y'all are tripping over each other to get the weight loss shots, "botoxify" your foreheads, and touches here and there.

We men didn't ask you to do that. From your early 20s you use your "beauty card" to get away with everything. And once you can't use that card anymore, you start railing against men

DP. Bless you for speaking up. Hopefully, an unmarried woman will read what you wrote and decide to focus on her career instead of letting a creature like you get legal hooks into her.

Women have a choice. They don't need to put their beauty front and center. This way they will be less stressed because they won't have to waste their time endlessly Criticizing men.

You sound hurt by the criticism. The hit dog will holler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think 35 is a big turning point. Guys who remain single longer than that tend to be odd. You’re better off finding someone who’s been divorced once they’re past that point.

As a divorced man who is 46 and has 2 kids, I will not recommend a divorced man like me. Not only we are at the age where we have to worry about elderly parents, we have to worry about college, child support, and our career which is at the peak point. It's very unlikely that we want to remarry and raise kids again. And as a single woman who still has so much of her time and love to offer to someone, I don't think a divorced man juggling several responsibilities is the best you can do.

Women who have never had kids are better off with single men in similar situations.

I often see never married women with no kids getting married to divorce men and I just don't get it. I guess these men are extremely rich and can afford to start over and hire 2 nannies, outsource everything, can already retire right now and have enough for the next 100 years, I don't know it's strange

Women are beauty objects, men are success objects.

This could be the most impactful thing I read today and so true.

[Anonymous]

Stable and secure bonding is essential to healthy male psychology.

Men maintain three primary emotional models for women in their mind.

1. Safety/nurture: they usually get this from their mother
2. Future building/legacy: wife/partner
3. Sexual polarization, expressing feminine/masculine energy, dyadic co-regulation (in therapy speak): wife/partner

As you can see they can get 1/3 from their mother. But 2/3 can only come from a stable and secure bond with a woman. People, not just men, carry other emotional models but they're largely secondary to their primary identity if these three models are healthy.

These can basically be flipped for women.

Unfortunately today's culture drives adversarial thinking between men and women where all professional and personal relations are framed through power dynamics and micro-status comparisons. When you look at these emotional models, you can see that competition and score tracking works against healthy emotional balance. This leads to lack of dyadic co-regulation, which is the primary benefit of marriage. Ultimately this makes smart women question the value of marriage, as this thread proves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think 35 is a big turning point. Guys who remain single longer than that tend to be odd. You’re better off finding someone who’s been divorced once they’re past that point.

+100

A half way decent guy who wants to be married by 35 can be. Truly there are more marriageable women out there than men - in terms of looks, education, financial stability, and ability to maintain healthy relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think 35 is a big turning point. Guys who remain single longer than that tend to be odd. You’re better off finding someone who’s been divorced once they’re past that point.

+100

A half way decent guy who wants to be married by 35 can be. Truly there are more marriageable women out there than men - in terms of looks, education, financial stability, and ability to maintain healthy relationships.

This maybe true in places like DC and New York but not my observation in the midwest and the south.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stable and secure bonding is essential to healthy male psychology.

Men maintain three primary emotional models for women in their mind.

1. Safety/nurture: they usually get this from their mother
2. Future building/legacy: wife/partner
3. Sexual polarization, expressing feminine/masculine energy, dyadic co-regulation (in therapy speak): wife/partner

As you can see they can get 1/3 from their mother. But 2/3 can only come from a stable and secure bond with a woman. People, not just men, carry other emotional models but they're largely secondary to their primary identity if these three models are healthy.

These can basically be flipped for women.

Unfortunately today's culture drives adversarial thinking between men and women where all professional and personal relations are framed through power dynamics and micro-status comparisons. When you look at these emotional models, you can see that competition and score tracking works against healthy emotional balance. This leads to lack of dyadic co-regulation, which is the primary benefit of marriage. Ultimately this makes smart women question the value of marriage, as this thread proves.

Nobody's interested in your treatise on scrotums and how they think.

[Anonymous]

Tons of men “taken” by age 30 derail royally in their 30s and 40s.
Being single the whole time is better than divorced and coparenting with a narcissist or a-hole.

[Anonymous]

Plus your kids will be majorly screwed up if they have a $hithead father for their whole life.