Are all the good men really taken by early thirties?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think 35 is a big turning point. Guys who remain single longer than that tend to be odd. You’re better off finding someone who’s been divorced once they’re past that point.

As a divorced man who is 46 and has 2 kids, I will not recommend a divorced man like me. Not only we are at the age where we have to worry about elderly parents, we have to worry about college, child support, and our career which is at the peak point. It's very unlikely that we want to remarry and raise kids again. And as a single woman who still has so much of her time and love to offer to someone, I don't think a divorced man juggling several responsibilities is the best you can do.

Women who have never had kids are better off with single men in similar situations.

I often see never married women with no kids getting married to divorce men and I just don't get it. I guess these men are extremely rich and can afford to start over and hire 2 nannies, outsource everything, can already retire right now and have enough for the next 100 years, I don't know it's strange

Women are beauty objects, men are success objects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think 35 is a big turning point. Guys who remain single longer than that tend to be odd. You’re better off finding someone who’s been divorced once they’re past that point.

Odd? Or maybe just maybe, some people don’t want to get married. It’s unbelievable that people hold marriage on a pedestal. Everybody I know that’s been married or is married says they would never do this marriage thing again but everybody rushes out to do it. Studies have shown that married women are leading the unhappinest human categories.

What in the actual eff are you trying to convince people of? Every single person you know hates their marriage? That is what you have convinced yourself of because no one ever picked you?

I really do hope you not only belive this but also that you share it publically. It makes Id'ing the lunatics so much easier.

- 52 yo man still madly in love with his awesome wife after 33 years. Also the son to two wonderful people still madly in love after 56 years.

The percentage of happy marriages is very low though

DP.
Define happy.

"Happiness" is overrated. I sometimes envy my single mom by choice friend. She is " happier" in the sense that her space is exactly as she wants it, and she does not feel sad over unmet expectations from a partner since she does not have one.

I have to compromise a lot with my DH. I'd like the house to be different. I'd like much much more romance and communication. But while certain aspects of my life are more unhappy than hers, my kids are definitely getting double the love, emotional and financial security that her kids are getting. I'd trade much more "happiness" for that.

If you were happy, you wouldn't be peeping this hard over your "friend's" shoulder and comparing your lives.

Touche. Like I said, happiness is overrated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think 35 is a big turning point. Guys who remain single longer than that tend to be odd. You’re better off finding someone who’s been divorced once they’re past that point.

As a divorced man who is 46 and has 2 kids, I will not recommend a divorced man like me. Not only we are at the age where we have to worry about elderly parents, we have to worry about college, child support, and our career which is at the peak point. It's very unlikely that we want to remarry and raise kids again. And as a single woman who still has so much of her time and love to offer to someone, I don't think a divorced man juggling several responsibilities is the best you can do.

Women who have never had kids are better off with single men in similar situations.

I often see never married women with no kids getting married to divorce men and I just don't get it. I guess these men are extremely rich and can afford to start over and hire 2 nannies, outsource everything, can already retire right now and have enough for the next 100 years, I don't know it's strange

Women are beauty objects, men are success objects.

Yes, these are rich men re-marrying to pretty young things. They usually don't bother with parenting and offload all household duties to the next set of wives. Superficial second-, third- families happy faces on Christmas cards and behind the curtain women just waiting for them to die and be free with all the money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think 35 is a big turning point. Guys who remain single longer than that tend to be odd. You’re better off finding someone who’s been divorced once they’re past that point.

Odd? Or maybe just maybe, some people don’t want to get married. It’s unbelievable that people hold marriage on a pedestal. Everybody I know that’s been married or is married says they would never do this marriage thing again but everybody rushes out to do it. Studies have shown that married women are leading the unhappinest human categories.

What in the actual eff are you trying to convince people of? Every single person you know hates their marriage? That is what you have convinced yourself of because no one ever picked you?

I really do hope you not only belive this but also that you share it publically. It makes Id'ing the lunatics so much easier.

- 52 yo man still madly in love with his awesome wife after 33 years. Also the son to two wonderful people still madly in love after 56 years.

The percentage of happy marriages is very low though

DP.
Define happy.

"Happiness" is overrated. I sometimes envy my single mom by choice friend. She is " happier" in the sense that her space is exactly as she wants it, and she does not feel sad over unmet expectations from a partner since she does not have one.

I have to compromise a lot with my DH. I'd like the house to be different. I'd like much much more romance and communication. But while certain aspects of my life are more unhappy than hers, my kids are definitely getting double the love, emotional and financial security that her kids are getting. I'd trade much more "happiness" for that.

If you were happy, you wouldn't be peeping this hard over your "friend's" shoulder and comparing your lives.

Touche. Like I said, happiness is overrated.

Peace of mind exists and not overrated. I know I wouldn't survive if I remained married to my exH.

Wanting kids, marriage as a self serving goal is a very wrong motivation for pegging yourself to someone. Women are under so much pressure that they don't make good and rational decisions in their 20s and 30s about marriage: is that man really a good human being, is he a good provider, partner? Many women just get married no matter what in a hope that he will "grow"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think 35 is a big turning point. Guys who remain single longer than that tend to be odd. You’re better off finding someone who’s been divorced once they’re past that point.

Odd? Or maybe just maybe, some people don’t want to get married. It’s unbelievable that people hold marriage on a pedestal. Everybody I know that’s been married or is married says they would never do this marriage thing again but everybody rushes out to do it. Studies have shown that married women are leading the unhappinest human categories.

What in the actual eff are you trying to convince people of? Every single person you know hates their marriage? That is what you have convinced yourself of because no one ever picked you?

I really do hope you not only belive this but also that you share it publically. It makes Id'ing the lunatics so much easier.

- 52 yo man still madly in love with his awesome wife after 33 years. Also the son to two wonderful people still madly in love after 56 years.

The percentage of happy marriages is very low though

DP.
Define happy.

"Happiness" is overrated. I sometimes envy my single mom by choice friend. She is " happier" in the sense that her space is exactly as she wants it, and she does not feel sad over unmet expectations from a partner since she does not have one.

I have to compromise a lot with my DH. I'd like the house to be different. I'd like much much more romance and communication. But while certain aspects of my life are more unhappy than hers, my kids are definitely getting double the love, emotional and financial security that her kids are getting. I'd trade much more "happiness" for that.

Perhaps that is what you tell yourself to get over your envy.

A single mom by choice who planned her kids can get much more love and emotional security from supportive grandparents, aunts and friends than what they'd get from the majority of dud dads out there. A guy who earns a paycheck only to come home and vegetate in front of the console or computer is a net loss. The woman and kids are vastly better off if his check comes in the mail and he vegetates off-site, where you aren't obligated to feed, clothe and clean up after him.

But my kids still have grandparents, aunts and friends. But you make a good point that a paycheck is not enough. I agree that no woman should settle for just a paycheck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think 35 is a big turning point. Guys who remain single longer than that tend to be odd. You’re better off finding someone who’s been divorced once they’re past that point.

Odd? Or maybe just maybe, some people don’t want to get married. It’s unbelievable that people hold marriage on a pedestal. Everybody I know that’s been married or is married says they would never do this marriage thing again but everybody rushes out to do it. Studies have shown that married women are leading the unhappinest human categories.

What in the actual eff are you trying to convince people of? Every single person you know hates their marriage? That is what you have convinced yourself of because no one ever picked you?

I really do hope you not only belive this but also that you share it publically. It makes Id'ing the lunatics so much easier.

- 52 yo man still madly in love with his awesome wife after 33 years. Also the son to two wonderful people still madly in love after 56 years.

The percentage of happy marriages is very low though

DP.
Define happy.

"Happiness" is overrated. I sometimes envy my single mom by choice friend. She is " happier" in the sense that her space is exactly as she wants it, and she does not feel sad over unmet expectations from a partner since she does not have one.

I have to compromise a lot with my DH. I'd like the house to be different. I'd like much much more romance and communication. But while certain aspects of my life are more unhappy than hers, my kids are definitely getting double the love, emotional and financial security that her kids are getting. I'd trade much more "happiness" for that.

If you were happy, you wouldn't be peeping this hard over your "friend's" shoulder and comparing your lives.

Touche. Like I said, happiness is overrated.

Peace of mind exists and not overrated. I know I wouldn't survive if I remained married to my exH.

Wanting kids, marriage as a self serving goal is a very wrong motivation for pegging yourself to someone. Women are under so much pressure that they don't make good and rational decisions in their 20s and 30s about marriage: is that man really a good human being, is he a good provider, partner? Many women just get married no matter what in a hope that he will "grow"

You make some good points. In your opinion, is there ever a good reason for marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think 35 is a big turning point. Guys who remain single longer than that tend to be odd. You’re better off finding someone who’s been divorced once they’re past that point.

Odd? Or maybe just maybe, some people don’t want to get married. It’s unbelievable that people hold marriage on a pedestal. Everybody I know that’s been married or is married says they would never do this marriage thing again but everybody rushes out to do it. Studies have shown that married women are leading the unhappinest human categories.

What in the actual eff are you trying to convince people of? Every single person you know hates their marriage? That is what you have convinced yourself of because no one ever picked you?

I really do hope you not only belive this but also that you share it publically. It makes Id'ing the lunatics so much easier.

- 52 yo man still madly in love with his awesome wife after 33 years. Also the son to two wonderful people still madly in love after 56 years.

The percentage of happy marriages is very low though

DP.
Define happy.

"Happiness" is overrated. I sometimes envy my single mom by choice friend. She is " happier" in the sense that her space is exactly as she wants it, and she does not feel sad over unmet expectations from a partner since she does not have one.

I have to compromise a lot with my DH. I'd like the house to be different. I'd like much much more romance and communication. But while certain aspects of my life are more unhappy than hers, my kids are definitely getting double the love, emotional and financial security that her kids are getting. I'd trade much more "happiness" for that.

If you were happy, you wouldn't be peeping this hard over your "friend's" shoulder and comparing your lives.

Touche. Like I said, happiness is overrated.

Peace of mind exists and not overrated. I know I wouldn't survive if I remained married to my exH.

Wanting kids, marriage as a self serving goal is a very wrong motivation for pegging yourself to someone. Women are under so much pressure that they don't make good and rational decisions in their 20s and 30s about marriage: is that man really a good human being, is he a good provider, partner? Many women just get married no matter what in a hope that he will "grow"

You make some good points. In your opinion, is there ever a good reason for marriage?

I think entering marriage with an understanding that it's likely NOT forever, with a good prenuptial agreement stipulating the parties obligations, including family psychologist etc several times a year would be responsible. It's like creating a company that you would sell in 10-15 years. Act accordingly and think hard about what you want to get at your exit as shareholder and don't allow the other shareholder take advantage of your contributions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think 35 is a big turning point. Guys who remain single longer than that tend to be odd. You’re better off finding someone who’s been divorced once they’re past that point.

Odd? Or maybe just maybe, some people don’t want to get married. It’s unbelievable that people hold marriage on a pedestal. Everybody I know that’s been married or is married says they would never do this marriage thing again but everybody rushes out to do it. Studies have shown that married women are leading the unhappinest human categories.

What in the actual eff are you trying to convince people of? Every single person you know hates their marriage? That is what you have convinced yourself of because no one ever picked you?

I really do hope you not only belive this but also that you share it publically. It makes Id'ing the lunatics so much easier.

- 52 yo man still madly in love with his awesome wife after 33 years. Also the son to two wonderful people still madly in love after 56 years.

The percentage of happy marriages is very low though

DP.
Define happy.

"Happiness" is overrated. I sometimes envy my single mom by choice friend. She is " happier" in the sense that her space is exactly as she wants it, and she does not feel sad over unmet expectations from a partner since she does not have one.

I have to compromise a lot with my DH. I'd like the house to be different. I'd like much much more romance and communication. But while certain aspects of my life are more unhappy than hers, my kids are definitely getting double the love, emotional and financial security that her kids are getting. I'd trade much more "happiness" for that.

If you were happy, you wouldn't be peeping this hard over your "friend's" shoulder and comparing your lives.

Touche. Like I said, happiness is overrated.

Peace of mind exists and not overrated. I know I wouldn't survive if I remained married to my exH.

Wanting kids, marriage as a self serving goal is a very wrong motivation for pegging yourself to someone. Women are under so much pressure that they don't make good and rational decisions in their 20s and 30s about marriage: is that man really a good human being, is he a good provider, partner? Many women just get married no matter what in a hope that he will "grow"

You make some good points. In your opinion, is there ever a good reason for marriage?

At present times, marriage is a necessity for women who can't afford having baby on their own. But as women get more and exceedingly economical successful than men (and I do think it's inevitable), we will see the rates of marriage dropping even further. We already see in Scandinavia where women own as much assets as men, and earn as much as men + are getting government maternity payments. Women choose not to marry in these countries, and just cohabit with male partners.

Humans in general are not well suited for monogamy, neither men nor women. And the dating market is set up in a way that men only wanting beautiful, much younger women. Would a much younger woman with great career prospects and earning capacity potential want to marry an older man who may require care in his old age? This is a loss proposition to her as a "shareholder". So if she cannot find equally earning and educated men her age she's better off staying single and having baby on her own.

This was the case in post war countries: deficit of men with certain marriageable qualities results in women having babies on their own. No risk of custody disputes that force kids split childhood between 2 households and argue with a deadbeat dad over your child's schooling, travel, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think 35 is a big turning point. Guys who remain single longer than that tend to be odd. You’re better off finding someone who’s been divorced once they’re past that point.

Odd? Or maybe just maybe, some people don’t want to get married. It’s unbelievable that people hold marriage on a pedestal. Everybody I know that’s been married or is married says they would never do this marriage thing again but everybody rushes out to do it. Studies have shown that married women are leading the unhappinest human categories.

What in the actual eff are you trying to convince people of? Every single person you know hates their marriage? That is what you have convinced yourself of because no one ever picked you?

I really do hope you not only belive this but also that you share it publically. It makes Id'ing the lunatics so much easier.

- 52 yo man still madly in love with his awesome wife after 33 years. Also the son to two wonderful people still madly in love after 56 years.

The percentage of happy marriages is very low though

DP.
Define happy.

"Happiness" is overrated. I sometimes envy my single mom by choice friend. She is " happier" in the sense that her space is exactly as she wants it, and she does not feel sad over unmet expectations from a partner since she does not have one.

I have to compromise a lot with my DH. I'd like the house to be different. I'd like much much more romance and communication. But while certain aspects of my life are more unhappy than hers, my kids are definitely getting double the love, emotional and financial security that her kids are getting. I'd trade much more "happiness" for that.

If you were happy, you wouldn't be peeping this hard over your "friend's" shoulder and comparing your lives.

Touche. Like I said, happiness is overrated.

Peace of mind exists and not overrated. I know I wouldn't survive if I remained married to my exH.

Wanting kids, marriage as a self serving goal is a very wrong motivation for pegging yourself to someone. Women are under so much pressure that they don't make good and rational decisions in their 20s and 30s about marriage: is that man really a good human being, is he a good provider, partner? Many women just get married no matter what in a hope that he will "grow"

You make some good points. In your opinion, is there ever a good reason for marriage?

At present times, marriage is a necessity for women who can't afford having baby on their own. But as women get more and exceedingly economical successful than men (and I do think it's inevitable), we will see the rates of marriage dropping even further. We already see in Scandinavia where women own as much assets as men, and earn as much as men + are getting government maternity payments. Women choose not to marry in these countries, and just cohabit with male partners.

Humans in general are not well suited for monogamy, neither men nor women. And the dating market is set up in a way that men only wanting beautiful, much younger women. Would a much younger woman with great career prospects and earning capacity potential want to marry an older man who may require care in his old age? This is a loss proposition to her as a "shareholder". So if she cannot find equally earning and educated men her age she's better off staying single and having baby on her own.

This was the case in post war countries: deficit of men with certain marriageable qualities results in women having babies on their own. No risk of custody disputes that force kids split childhood between 2 households and argue with a deadbeat dad over your child's schooling, travel, etc.

The bolded is not the same as being a single mom by choice. These women are cohabiting with their children's fathers and raising those children together. So even though these women have the resources to raise children by themselves, they'd rather do it with a partner.
These women probably do not consider this men marriage worthy, but they consider them worthy of sharing the responsibilities of raising children. So your argument against marriage in their case is not necessarily a strong argument for single parenthood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think 35 is a big turning point. Guys who remain single longer than that tend to be odd. You’re better off finding someone who’s been divorced once they’re past that point.

Odd? Or maybe just maybe, some people don’t want to get married. It’s unbelievable that people hold marriage on a pedestal. Everybody I know that’s been married or is married says they would never do this marriage thing again but everybody rushes out to do it. Studies have shown that married women are leading the unhappinest human categories.

What in the actual eff are you trying to convince people of? Every single person you know hates their marriage? That is what you have convinced yourself of because no one ever picked you?

I really do hope you not only belive this but also that you share it publically. It makes Id'ing the lunatics so much easier.

- 52 yo man still madly in love with his awesome wife after 33 years. Also the son to two wonderful people still madly in love after 56 years.

The percentage of happy marriages is very low though

DP.
Define happy.

"Happiness" is overrated. I sometimes envy my single mom by choice friend. She is " happier" in the sense that her space is exactly as she wants it, and she does not feel sad over unmet expectations from a partner since she does not have one.

I have to compromise a lot with my DH. I'd like the house to be different. I'd like much much more romance and communication. But while certain aspects of my life are more unhappy than hers, my kids are definitely getting double the love, emotional and financial security that her kids are getting. I'd trade much more "happiness" for that.

If you were happy, you wouldn't be peeping this hard over your "friend's" shoulder and comparing your lives.

Touche. Like I said, happiness is overrated.

Peace of mind exists and not overrated. I know I wouldn't survive if I remained married to my exH.

Wanting kids, marriage as a self serving goal is a very wrong motivation for pegging yourself to someone. Women are under so much pressure that they don't make good and rational decisions in their 20s and 30s about marriage: is that man really a good human being, is he a good provider, partner? Many women just get married no matter what in a hope that he will "grow"

You make some good points. In your opinion, is there ever a good reason for marriage?

I think entering marriage with an understanding that it's likely NOT forever, with a good prenuptial agreement stipulating the parties obligations, including family psychologist etc several times a year would be responsible. It's like creating a company that you would sell in 10-15 years. Act accordingly and think hard about what you want to get at your exit as shareholder and don't allow the other shareholder take advantage of your contributions.

I like this. And people will be less likely to take each other for granted if they had solid contracts.

[Anonymous]

As an attractive, 39 yo F who got divorced at 33, yes.

The good partners that want to be married are absolutely taken. I wouldn't marry my boyfriend but I love being in a relationship with him.

I have no interest in getting married again, but if I did, I joke that being widowed is a requirement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think 35 is a big turning point. Guys who remain single longer than that tend to be odd. You’re better off finding someone who’s been divorced once they’re past that point.

As a divorced man who is 46 and has 2 kids, I will not recommend a divorced man like me. Not only we are at the age where we have to worry about elderly parents, we have to worry about college, child support, and our career which is at the peak point. It's very unlikely that we want to remarry and raise kids again. And as a single woman who still has so much of her time and love to offer to someone, I don't think a divorced man juggling several responsibilities is the best you can do.

Women who have never had kids are better off with single men in similar situations.

I often see never married women with no kids getting married to divorce men and I just don't get it. I guess these men are extremely rich and can afford to start over and hire 2 nannies, outsource everything, can already retire right now and have enough for the next 100 years, I don't know it's strange

Women are beauty objects, men are success objects.

Yes, these are rich men re-marrying to pretty young things. They usually don't bother with parenting and offload all household duties to the next set of wives. Superficial second-, third- families happy faces on Christmas cards and behind the curtain women just waiting for them to die and be free with all the money

It's funny how so many people on this board assume that everyone is as miserable as they are. Obviously, this is what you want to hear: Yes, your marriage didn't work out because men are evil and nobody else is happy in their heterosexual marriage. Or, for you singles, yes you're alone because nobody is good enough for you. You're better off than married people because no marriages are happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think 35 is a big turning point. Guys who remain single longer than that tend to be odd. You’re better off finding someone who’s been divorced once they’re past that point.

Odd? Or maybe just maybe, some people don’t want to get married. It’s unbelievable that people hold marriage on a pedestal. Everybody I know that’s been married or is married says they would never do this marriage thing again but everybody rushes out to do it. Studies have shown that married women are leading the unhappinest human categories.

What in the actual eff are you trying to convince people of? Every single person you know hates their marriage? That is what you have convinced yourself of because no one ever picked you?

I really do hope you not only belive this but also that you share it publically. It makes Id'ing the lunatics so much easier.

- 52 yo man still madly in love with his awesome wife after 33 years. Also the son to two wonderful people still madly in love after 56 years.

The percentage of happy marriages is very low though

DP.
Define happy.

"Happiness" is overrated. I sometimes envy my single mom by choice friend. She is " happier" in the sense that her space is exactly as she wants it, and she does not feel sad over unmet expectations from a partner since she does not have one.

I have to compromise a lot with my DH. I'd like the house to be different. I'd like much much more romance and communication. But while certain aspects of my life are more unhappy than hers, my kids are definitely getting double the love, emotional and financial security that her kids are getting. I'd trade much more "happiness" for that.

If you were happy, you wouldn't be peeping this hard over your "friend's" shoulder and comparing your lives.

Touche. Like I said, happiness is overrated.

Peace of mind exists and not overrated. I know I wouldn't survive if I remained married to my exH.

Wanting kids, marriage as a self serving goal is a very wrong motivation for pegging yourself to someone. Women are under so much pressure that they don't make good and rational decisions in their 20s and 30s about marriage: is that man really a good human being, is he a good provider, partner? Many women just get married no matter what in a hope that he will "grow"

You make some good points. In your opinion, is there ever a good reason for marriage?

At present times, marriage is a necessity for women who can't afford having baby on their own. But as women get more and exceedingly economical successful than men (and I do think it's inevitable), we will see the rates of marriage dropping even further. We already see in Scandinavia where women own as much assets as men, and earn as much as men + are getting government maternity payments. Women choose not to marry in these countries, and just cohabit with male partners.

Humans in general are not well suited for monogamy, neither men nor women. And the dating market is set up in a way that men only wanting beautiful, much younger women. Would a much younger woman with great career prospects and earning capacity potential want to marry an older man who may require care in his old age? This is a loss proposition to her as a "shareholder". So if she cannot find equally earning and educated men her age she's better off staying single and having baby on her own.

This was the case in post war countries: deficit of men with certain marriageable qualities results in women having babies on their own. No risk of custody disputes that force kids split childhood between 2 households and argue with a deadbeat dad over your child's schooling, travel, etc.

The bolded is not the same as being a single mom by choice. These women are cohabiting with their children's fathers and raising those children together. So even though these women have the resources to raise children by themselves, they'd rather do it with a partner.
These women probably do not consider this men marriage worthy, but they consider them worthy of sharing the responsibilities of raising children. So your argument against marriage in their case is not necessarily a strong argument for single parenthood.

They don't necessarily live with the same men who fathered their children. A woman may have several partners over the course of her active sex life and may or may not have kids with these partners

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think 35 is a big turning point. Guys who remain single longer than that tend to be odd. You’re better off finding someone who’s been divorced once they’re past that point.

As a divorced man who is 46 and has 2 kids, I will not recommend a divorced man like me. Not only we are at the age where we have to worry about elderly parents, we have to worry about college, child support, and our career which is at the peak point. It's very unlikely that we want to remarry and raise kids again. And as a single woman who still has so much of her time and love to offer to someone, I don't think a divorced man juggling several responsibilities is the best you can do.

Women who have never had kids are better off with single men in similar situations.

I often see never married women with no kids getting married to divorce men and I just don't get it. I guess these men are extremely rich and can afford to start over and hire 2 nannies, outsource everything, can already retire right now and have enough for the next 100 years, I don't know it's strange

Women are beauty objects, men are success objects.

Yes, these are rich men re-marrying to pretty young things. They usually don't bother with parenting and offload all household duties to the next set of wives. Superficial second-, third- families happy faces on Christmas cards and behind the curtain women just waiting for them to die and be free with all the money

It's funny how so many people on this board assume that everyone is as miserable as they are. Obviously, this is what you want to hear: Yes, your marriage didn't work out because men are evil and nobody else is happy in their heterosexual marriage. Or, for you singles, yes you're alone because nobody is good enough for you. You're better off than married people because no marriages are happy.

"Unmarried" is not equal to "single". A lot of people unmarried legally are not officially single. They just chose not to marry as they don't see a benefit in marriage at this time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think 35 is a big turning point. Guys who remain single longer than that tend to be odd. You’re better off finding someone who’s been divorced once they’re past that point.

Odd? Or maybe just maybe, some people don’t want to get married. It’s unbelievable that people hold marriage on a pedestal. Everybody I know that’s been married or is married says they would never do this marriage thing again but everybody rushes out to do it. Studies have shown that married women are leading the unhappinest human categories.

What in the actual eff are you trying to convince people of? Every single person you know hates their marriage? That is what you have convinced yourself of because no one ever picked you?

I really do hope you not only belive this but also that you share it publically. It makes Id'ing the lunatics so much easier.

- 52 yo man still madly in love with his awesome wife after 33 years. Also the son to two wonderful people still madly in love after 56 years.

The percentage of happy marriages is very low though

DP.
Define happy.

"Happiness" is overrated. I sometimes envy my single mom by choice friend. She is " happier" in the sense that her space is exactly as she wants it, and she does not feel sad over unmet expectations from a partner since she does not have one.

I have to compromise a lot with my DH. I'd like the house to be different. I'd like much much more romance and communication. But while certain aspects of my life are more unhappy than hers, my kids are definitely getting double the love, emotional and financial security that her kids are getting. I'd trade much more "happiness" for that.

If you were happy, you wouldn't be peeping this hard over your "friend's" shoulder and comparing your lives.

Touche. Like I said, happiness is overrated.

Peace of mind exists and not overrated. I know I wouldn't survive if I remained married to my exH.

Wanting kids, marriage as a self serving goal is a very wrong motivation for pegging yourself to someone. Women are under so much pressure that they don't make good and rational decisions in their 20s and 30s about marriage: is that man really a good human being, is he a good provider, partner? Many women just get married no matter what in a hope that he will "grow"

You make some good points. In your opinion, is there ever a good reason for marriage?

I think entering marriage with an understanding that it's likely NOT forever, with a good prenuptial agreement stipulating the parties obligations, including family psychologist etc several times a year would be responsible. It's like creating a company that you would sell in 10-15 years. Act accordingly and think hard about what you want to get at your exit as shareholder and don't allow the other shareholder take advantage of your contributions.

I like this. And people will be less likely to take each other for granted if they had solid contracts.

Yes, that and also a security of knowing what you would get in 5, 10, 15, 20 years of marriage. Having financial planner look at it for both of future spouses. Because marriage is a contract ! Of course you can go no prenup but then people end up in court auguring over what constitutes 50% and who should get more or less than 50% and why (cheated, contributed less financially, contributed less with kids and other BS)