Reply to Are all the good men really taken by early thirties?

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[quote=Anonymous]Stable and secure bonding is essential to healthy male psychology.

Men maintain three primary emotional models for women in their mind.

1. Safety/nurture: they usually get this from their mother
2. Future building/legacy: wife/partner
3. Sexual polarization, expressing feminine/masculine energy, dyadic co-regulation (in therapy speak): wife/partner

As you can see they can get 1/3 from their mother. But 2/3 can only come from a stable and secure bond with a woman. People, not just men, carry other emotional models but they're largely secondary to their primary identity if these three models are healthy.

These can basically be flipped for women.

Unfortunately today's culture drives adversarial thinking between men and women where all professional and personal relations are framed through power dynamics and micro-status comparisons. When you look at these emotional models, you can see that competition and score tracking works against healthy emotional balance. This leads to lack of dyadic co-regulation, which is the primary benefit of marriage. Ultimately this makes smart women question the value of marriage, as this thread proves.[/quote]

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