Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op, very sorry for your loss. is your sister disabled or something? She works, how much does she makes? your mom has social security (and survivor benefit’s possibly) and there’s no mortgage so I’m wondering how the house would be more expensive as upkeep than rent? Obviously there is cc debt but what are they spending on? At a certain point you need to detach; you can’t solve their issues if they don’t want to accept your solutions. The best egg of. C 650k will only generate about 30k a year gross which isn’t a huge chunk . But what’s the plan for your sister after your mom goes? I would weigh assisted living for your mom with your sister making her own way (but not caring for mom); sister and mom
In apartment with sister helping part time with moms care; them staying in current
Home (what care/how much does your mom need now)? There are usually no good choices but hopefully things will calm down a bit.
My sister is not physically disabled but does have OCD which limits her world. She makes around 16K because of these limitations. I don't know how much she contributes to the household. The house is more expensive than rent because social security would not cover taxes, insurance, HOA fees as well as their monthly expenses and the huge debt that they've rung up. By selling the house, they will have about 675K plus social security every month. Social security would cover most of the rent (if not all) and my mother can slowly draw down that invested 675K. She is 88 and not in great health - I'd be surprised if she survives another few years, sadly. So as a ballpark, their current monthly expenses with debt servicing probably exceed 4K and social security income is about 2k. I expect my mother to be wheelchair bound soon and my sister's plan is to simply put her in group care. She thinks MediCARE will pay for it through the hospice program long-term. I have told her that it will not; she insists I'm wrong. I said if she needs long term care and they don't give up the house, they can put her on MediCAID due to lack of money, but MediCAID will put a lien on the house or force the sale to pay for room/board. I had his confirmed by a lawyer. They also said that the social security will go to MediCAID as well for her care. If Medicaid accepts the full amount of social security for room and board, that could work out, but my sister will still have to figure out how to pay for the house expenses on her salary. I think my sister is angling to stay in the house until my mother dies, so she can get a large inheritance because she's scared to 'adult'. It's not fair to my mother - she should be able to use the money to live her last years as she chooses, hence the fighting my sister and I are doing. 30k per year plus my mother's social security will more than cover what they need. The social security would cover the rent in a nice place in their area.
What are they spending on? I suspect some is to make ends meet, but my sister has been known to abuse credit cards due to the OCD. So it's a great question isn't it and one that has gone unanswered. What's the plan for my sister? Well, if she refuses to get help for the OCD, I honestly don't know. If she agrees to address it, we are more than happy to help out. Without her addressing the OCD any help goes into a black hole and we won't be her parents - financially she will bleed us dry. If I had my druthers, I would have loved to have taken on the care of my parents in their old age, hence all we offered. All I heard though is "what would happen to your sister" so they refused to make changes for her sake. That and my father is stubborn, and after his stroke he dug in further and lost his clarity regarding their financial situation.
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