Atheist bil won’t allow 3 year old nephew to receive a gift during holidays

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find another time to exchange gift that is not religious.

Xmas has nothing to do with gifts.

The gifts aren’t religious, and it’s a family tradition. We don’t get together as a family much due to logistics and this is the one time a year we are all together.

Traditions can change. You can do a family get together with gifts another time. In my family, as people married and had families, we moved our big event to Columbus Day weekend and made it Halloween themed. I know others who do a winter solstice celebration.

But if they aren’t important enough to figure out a different plan, then you have to respect their wishes.

No, they don't have to change their long standing traditions;4 to appease non believers. BIL will have to just learn to roll with it. Why does everyone have to kowtow to him?

Because that’s what people who love each other do. They look at creative ways of managing differences. No one will be hurt by moving gift giving Another time. But some will be hurt by not trying to find a compromise.

And some will be hurt by not being able to continue the traditions, despite your glossing over that obvious fact. What compromise is BIL making? None so far.

NP. BIL is compromising by participating in a Christmas gathering, because he knows spending time with family and cousin time and sharing a meal are all good things. That’s something he can do—show up to a Christmas celebration. What he can’t do is allow his kids to get Christmas gifts. See how he is, indeed, compromising and meeting people halfway for the sake of spending time together?

Team BIL.

Yes, he can allow his kid to get a friggin Christmas gift. He absolutely can. It means nothing. It certainly has nothing to do with believing in God.

The guy is a controlling dick.

It is a privilege of being Christian (even if secular) to think that Christmas gifts are not religious. They may be meant "culturally" but the exchange is still rooted in Christianity, which BIL is opposed to. He values family enough to come to the gathering and be together, even when he is against the holiday. Why isn't that enough? Raising a child outside of Christianity is a valid parenting choice.

It is a perfectly valid parenting choice for someone with a stick up his ass. You’re right about that.

Nobody is saying he should baptize his kid, send him to CCD, and turn him into a priest. They’re saying let his damned grandmother put a gift under a tree for him like a normal grandmother does and like normal son-in-law should respect. There are bigger issues in the world. The guy sounds exhausting, and he sounds like a prick.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find another time to exchange gift that is not religious.

Xmas has nothing to do with gifts.

The gifts aren’t religious, and it’s a family tradition. We don’t get together as a family much due to logistics and this is the one time a year we are all together.

Traditions can change. You can do a family get together with gifts another time. In my family, as people married and had families, we moved our big event to Columbus Day weekend and made it Halloween themed. I know others who do a winter solstice celebration.

But if they aren’t important enough to figure out a different plan, then you have to respect their wishes.

No, they don't have to change their long standing traditions;4 to appease non believers. BIL will have to just learn to roll with it. Why does everyone have to kowtow to him?

Because that’s what people who love each other do. They look at creative ways of managing differences. No one will be hurt by moving gift giving Another time. But some will be hurt by not trying to find a compromise.

And some will be hurt by not being able to continue the traditions, despite your glossing over that obvious fact. What compromise is BIL making? None so far.

NP. BIL is compromising by participating in a Christmas gathering, because he knows spending time with family and cousin time and sharing a meal are all good things. That’s something he can do—show up to a Christmas celebration. What he can’t do is allow his kids to get Christmas gifts. See how he is, indeed, compromising and meeting people halfway for the sake of spending time together?

Team BIL.

Yes, he can allow his kid to get a friggin Christmas gift. He absolutely can. It means nothing. It certainly has nothing to do with believing in God.

The guy is a controlling dick.

It is a privilege of being Christian (even if secular) to think that Christmas gifts are not religious. They may be meant "culturally" but the exchange is still rooted in Christianity, which BIL is opposed to. He values family enough to come to the gathering and be together, even when he is against the holiday. Why isn't that enough? Raising a child outside of Christianity is a valid parenting choice.

It is a perfectly valid parenting choice for someone with a stick up his ass. You’re right about that.

Nobody is saying he should baptize his kid, send him to CCD, and turn him into a priest. They’re saying let his damned grandmother put a gift under a tree for him like a normal grandmother does and like normal son-in-law should respect. There are bigger issues in the world. The guy sounds exhausting, and he sounds like a prick.

There are plenty of opportunities for "normal grandmothers" to lavish gifts on their grandchildren. Her daughter is asking her to skip this one occasion to respect their atheism.

It’s a $25 gift. Nothing lavish about it. The guy is a prick. This has nothing to do with religion, and everything to do with a guy being an unreasonable attention seeking pain in the ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give it to him a prior unwrapped. Happy Wednesday!

❤️ If we did that and they left angrily, would we be bad people?

Yes. Why would you choose to alienate your sisters family and make her life more difficult.

You asked your sister a question (can we give Larlo a gift?), she gave you an answer (no thank you). You're taking her answer as a personal rejection and that's what's making this difficult.

No, that’s not true. My sister fully participated in Christmas until she got married. She had Christmas gifts galore as a child. Her grandmother gave her Christmas gifts. She ate candy and cookies at Christmas. She sat on Santa’s lap and had her picture taken, and watched Rudolph and Elf and all Christmas movies.

Now, after participating in Christmas and getting gifts and Christmas fun her whole life, we are supposed to change everything for her husband?

People change? Your sister could have changed. Has she given you any indication that she's unhappy with her husband or with their atheism?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find another time to exchange gift that is not religious.

Xmas has nothing to do with gifts.

The gifts aren’t religious, and it’s a family tradition. We don’t get together as a family much due to logistics and this is the one time a year we are all together.

Traditions can change. You can do a family get together with gifts another time. In my family, as people married and had families, we moved our big event to Columbus Day weekend and made it Halloween themed. I know others who do a winter solstice celebration.

But if they aren’t important enough to figure out a different plan, then you have to respect their wishes.

No, they don't have to change their long standing traditions;4 to appease non believers. BIL will have to just learn to roll with it. Why does everyone have to kowtow to him?

Because that’s what people who love each other do. They look at creative ways of managing differences. No one will be hurt by moving gift giving Another time. But some will be hurt by not trying to find a compromise.

And some will be hurt by not being able to continue the traditions, despite your glossing over that obvious fact. What compromise is BIL making? None so far.

NP. BIL is compromising by participating in a Christmas gathering, because he knows spending time with family and cousin time and sharing a meal are all good things. That’s something he can do—show up to a Christmas celebration. What he can’t do is allow his kids to get Christmas gifts. See how he is, indeed, compromising and meeting people halfway for the sake of spending time together?

Team BIL.

Yes, he can allow his kid to get a friggin Christmas gift. He absolutely can. It means nothing. It certainly has nothing to do with believing in God.

The guy is a controlling dick.

It is a privilege of being Christian (even if secular) to think that Christmas gifts are not religious. They may be meant "culturally" but the exchange is still rooted in Christianity, which BIL is opposed to. He values family enough to come to the gathering and be together, even when he is against the holiday. Why isn't that enough? Raising a child outside of Christianity is a valid parenting choice.

It is a perfectly valid parenting choice for someone with a stick up his ass. You’re right about that.

Nobody is saying he should baptize his kid, send him to CCD, and turn him into a priest. They’re saying let his damned grandmother put a gift under a tree for him like a normal grandmother does and like normal son-in-law should respect. There are bigger issues in the world. The guy sounds exhausting, and he sounds like a prick.

There are plenty of opportunities for "normal grandmothers" to lavish gifts on their grandchildren. Her daughter is asking her to skip this one occasion to respect their atheism.

It’s a $25 gift. Nothing lavish about it. The guy is a prick. This has nothing to do with religion, and everything to do with a guy being an unreasonable attention seeking pain in the ass.

Do you know what "lavishing gifts" means? It means to give many gifts. It's not a comment on the lavishness of the gifts.
And it sounds like he and his family will just sit and not participate in the gift exchange. It wouldn't be garnering so much attention if OP would just respect that, instead of insisting they participate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find another time to exchange gift that is not religious.

Xmas has nothing to do with gifts.

The gifts aren’t religious, and it’s a family tradition. We don’t get together as a family much due to logistics and this is the one time a year we are all together.

Traditions can change. You can do a family get together with gifts another time. In my family, as people married and had families, we moved our big event to Columbus Day weekend and made it Halloween themed. I know others who do a winter solstice celebration.

But if they aren’t important enough to figure out a different plan, then you have to respect their wishes.

No, they don't have to change their long standing traditions;4 to appease non believers. BIL will have to just learn to roll with it. Why does everyone have to kowtow to him?

Because that’s what people who love each other do. They look at creative ways of managing differences. No one will be hurt by moving gift giving Another time. But some will be hurt by not trying to find a compromise.

And some will be hurt by not being able to continue the traditions, despite your glossing over that obvious fact. What compromise is BIL making? None so far.

NP. BIL is compromising by participating in a Christmas gathering, because he knows spending time with family and cousin time and sharing a meal are all good things. That’s something he can do—show up to a Christmas celebration. What he can’t do is allow his kids to get Christmas gifts. See how he is, indeed, compromising and meeting people halfway for the sake of spending time together?

Team BIL.

Yes, he can allow his kid to get a friggin Christmas gift. He absolutely can. It means nothing. It certainly has nothing to do with believing in God.

The guy is a controlling dick.

It is a privilege of being Christian (even if secular) to think that Christmas gifts are not religious. They may be meant "culturally" but the exchange is still rooted in Christianity, which BIL is opposed to. He values family enough to come to the gathering and be together, even when he is against the holiday. Why isn't that enough? Raising a child outside of Christianity is a valid parenting choice.

It is a perfectly valid parenting choice for someone with a stick up his ass. You’re right about that.

Nobody is saying he should baptize his kid, send him to CCD, and turn him into a priest. They’re saying let his damned grandmother put a gift under a tree for him like a normal grandmother does and like normal son-in-law should respect. There are bigger issues in the world. The guy sounds exhausting, and he sounds like a prick.

There are plenty of opportunities for "normal grandmothers" to lavish gifts on their grandchildren. Her daughter is asking her to skip this one occasion to respect their atheism.

It’s a $25 gift. Nothing lavish about it. The guy is a prick. This has nothing to do with religion, and everything to do with a guy being an unreasonable attention seeking pain in the ass.

He’s not asking anyone not to give and receive gifts. He’s asking that his family remain out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find another time to exchange gift that is not religious.

Xmas has nothing to do with gifts.

The gifts aren’t religious, and it’s a family tradition. We don’t get together as a family much due to logistics and this is the one time a year we are all together.

Traditions can change. You can do a family get together with gifts another time. In my family, as people married and had families, we moved our big event to Columbus Day weekend and made it Halloween themed. I know others who do a winter solstice celebration.

But if they aren’t important enough to figure out a different plan, then you have to respect their wishes.

No, they don't have to change their long standing traditions;4 to appease non believers. BIL will have to just learn to roll with it. Why does everyone have to kowtow to him?

Because that’s what people who love each other do. They look at creative ways of managing differences. No one will be hurt by moving gift giving Another time. But some will be hurt by not trying to find a compromise.

And some will be hurt by not being able to continue the traditions, despite your glossing over that obvious fact. What compromise is BIL making? None so far.

NP. BIL is compromising by participating in a Christmas gathering, because he knows spending time with family and cousin time and sharing a meal are all good things. That’s something he can do—show up to a Christmas celebration. What he can’t do is allow his kids to get Christmas gifts. See how he is, indeed, compromising and meeting people halfway for the sake of spending time together?

Team BIL.

Yes, he can allow his kid to get a friggin Christmas gift. He absolutely can. It means nothing. It certainly has nothing to do with believing in God.

The guy is a controlling dick.

It is a privilege of being Christian (even if secular) to think that Christmas gifts are not religious. They may be meant "culturally" but the exchange is still rooted in Christianity, which BIL is opposed to. He values family enough to come to the gathering and be together, even when he is against the holiday. Why isn't that enough? Raising a child outside of Christianity is a valid parenting choice.

It is a perfectly valid parenting choice for someone with a stick up his ass. You’re right about that.

Nobody is saying he should baptize his kid, send him to CCD, and turn him into a priest. They’re saying let his damned grandmother put a gift under a tree for him like a normal grandmother does and like normal son-in-law should respect. There are bigger issues in the world. The guy sounds exhausting, and he sounds like a prick.

There are plenty of opportunities for "normal grandmothers" to lavish gifts on their grandchildren. Her daughter is asking her to skip this one occasion to respect their atheism.

It’s a $25 gift. Nothing lavish about it. The guy is a prick. This has nothing to do with religion, and everything to do with a guy being an unreasonable attention seeking pain in the ass.

He’s not asking anyone not to give and receive gifts. He’s asking that his family remain out of it.

Right. Because he’s a buzz kill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give it to him a prior unwrapped. Happy Wednesday!

❤️ If we did that and they left angrily, would we be bad people?

Yes. Why would you choose to alienate your sisters family and make her life more difficult.

You asked your sister a question (can we give Larlo a gift?), she gave you an answer (no thank you). You're taking her answer as a personal rejection and that's what's making this difficult.

No, that’s not true. My sister fully participated in Christmas until she got married. She had Christmas gifts galore as a child. Her grandmother gave her Christmas gifts. She ate candy and cookies at Christmas. She sat on Santa’s lap and had her picture taken, and watched Rudolph and Elf and all Christmas movies.

Now, after participating in Christmas and getting gifts and Christmas fun her whole life, we are supposed to change everything for her husband?

It's not true that you asked her a question? Not true that she answered? Not true that you're taking it personally?
It doesn't sound like she's asking you to "change everything" for her husband. They didn't ask you to stop the gift giving tradition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find another time to exchange gift that is not religious.

Xmas has nothing to do with gifts.

The gifts aren’t religious, and it’s a family tradition. We don’t get together as a family much due to logistics and this is the one time a year we are all together.

Traditions can change. You can do a family get together with gifts another time. In my family, as people married and had families, we moved our big event to Columbus Day weekend and made it Halloween themed. I know others who do a winter solstice celebration.

But if they aren’t important enough to figure out a different plan, then you have to respect their wishes.

No, they don't have to change their long standing traditions;4 to appease non believers. BIL will have to just learn to roll with it. Why does everyone have to kowtow to him?

Because that’s what people who love each other do. They look at creative ways of managing differences. No one will be hurt by moving gift giving Another time. But some will be hurt by not trying to find a compromise.

And some will be hurt by not being able to continue the traditions, despite your glossing over that obvious fact. What compromise is BIL making? None so far.

NP. BIL is compromising by participating in a Christmas gathering, because he knows spending time with family and cousin time and sharing a meal are all good things. That’s something he can do—show up to a Christmas celebration. What he can’t do is allow his kids to get Christmas gifts. See how he is, indeed, compromising and meeting people halfway for the sake of spending time together?

Team BIL.

Yes, he can allow his kid to get a friggin Christmas gift. He absolutely can. It means nothing. It certainly has nothing to do with believing in God.

The guy is a controlling dick.

It is a privilege of being Christian (even if secular) to think that Christmas gifts are not religious. They may be meant "culturally" but the exchange is still rooted in Christianity, which BIL is opposed to. He values family enough to come to the gathering and be together, even when he is against the holiday. Why isn't that enough? Raising a child outside of Christianity is a valid parenting choice.

It is a perfectly valid parenting choice for someone with a stick up his ass. You’re right about that.

Nobody is saying he should baptize his kid, send him to CCD, and turn him into a priest. They’re saying let his damned grandmother put a gift under a tree for him like a normal grandmother does and like normal son-in-law should respect. There are bigger issues in the world. The guy sounds exhausting, and he sounds like a prick.

There are plenty of opportunities for "normal grandmothers" to lavish gifts on their grandchildren. Her daughter is asking her to skip this one occasion to respect their atheism.

It’s a $25 gift. Nothing lavish about it. The guy is a prick. This has nothing to do with religion, and everything to do with a guy being an unreasonable attention seeking pain in the ass.

Do you know what "lavishing gifts" means? It means to give many gifts. It's not a comment on the lavishness of the gifts.
And it sounds like he and his family will just sit and not participate in the gift exchange. It wouldn't be garnering so much attention if OP would just respect that, instead of insisting they participate.

She’s not “insisting they participate.” She wants their KID to get a gift. He’s a controlling prick whose kid is going to grow up hating him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find another time to exchange gift that is not religious.

Xmas has nothing to do with gifts.

The gifts aren’t religious, and it’s a family tradition. We don’t get together as a family much due to logistics and this is the one time a year we are all together.

Traditions can change. You can do a family get together with gifts another time. In my family, as people married and had families, we moved our big event to Columbus Day weekend and made it Halloween themed. I know others who do a winter solstice celebration.

But if they aren’t important enough to figure out a different plan, then you have to respect their wishes.

No, they don't have to change their long standing traditions;4 to appease non believers. BIL will have to just learn to roll with it. Why does everyone have to kowtow to him?

Because that’s what people who love each other do. They look at creative ways of managing differences. No one will be hurt by moving gift giving Another time. But some will be hurt by not trying to find a compromise.

And some will be hurt by not being able to continue the traditions, despite your glossing over that obvious fact. What compromise is BIL making? None so far.

NP. BIL is compromising by participating in a Christmas gathering, because he knows spending time with family and cousin time and sharing a meal are all good things. That’s something he can do—show up to a Christmas celebration. What he can’t do is allow his kids to get Christmas gifts. See how he is, indeed, compromising and meeting people halfway for the sake of spending time together?

Team BIL.

Yes, he can allow his kid to get a friggin Christmas gift. He absolutely can. It means nothing. It certainly has nothing to do with believing in God.

The guy is a controlling dick.

It is a privilege of being Christian (even if secular) to think that Christmas gifts are not religious. They may be meant "culturally" but the exchange is still rooted in Christianity, which BIL is opposed to. He values family enough to come to the gathering and be together, even when he is against the holiday. Why isn't that enough? Raising a child outside of Christianity is a valid parenting choice.

It is a perfectly valid parenting choice for someone with a stick up his ass. You’re right about that.

Nobody is saying he should baptize his kid, send him to CCD, and turn him into a priest. They’re saying let his damned grandmother put a gift under a tree for him like a normal grandmother does and like normal son-in-law should respect. There are bigger issues in the world. The guy sounds exhausting, and he sounds like a prick.

There are plenty of opportunities for "normal grandmothers" to lavish gifts on their grandchildren. Her daughter is asking her to skip this one occasion to respect their atheism.

It’s a $25 gift. Nothing lavish about it. The guy is a prick. This has nothing to do with religion, and everything to do with a guy being an unreasonable attention seeking pain in the ass.

Do you know what "lavishing gifts" means? It means to give many gifts. It's not a comment on the lavishness of the gifts.
And it sounds like he and his family will just sit and not participate in the gift exchange. It wouldn't be garnering so much attention if OP would just respect that, instead of insisting they participate.

She’s not “insisting they participate.” She wants their KID to get a gift. He’s a controlling prick whose kid is going to grow up hating him.

She wants their kid to get a gift because grandma "will die" (or something dramatic like that from many pages ago) if she doesn't get to put a gift under the tree for him. Giving a gift that the parents have asked not to be part of IS "insisting they participate."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give it to him a prior unwrapped. Happy Wednesday!

❤️ If we did that and they left angrily, would we be bad people?

Yes. Why would you choose to alienate your sisters family and make her life more difficult.

You asked your sister a question (can we give Larlo a gift?), she gave you an answer (no thank you). You're taking her answer as a personal rejection and that's what's making this difficult.

No, that’s not true. My sister fully participated in Christmas until she got married. She had Christmas gifts galore as a child. Her grandmother gave her Christmas gifts. She ate candy and cookies at Christmas. She sat on Santa’s lap and had her picture taken, and watched Rudolph and Elf and all Christmas movies.

Now, after participating in Christmas and getting gifts and Christmas fun her whole life, we are supposed to change everything for her husband?

It's not true that you asked her a question? Not true that she answered? Not true that you're taking it personally?
It doesn't sound like she's asking you to "change everything" for her husband. They didn't ask you to stop the gift giving tradition.

Many people posting here suggested we not give gifts to accommodate my bil. They tried to make me feel guilty for wanting to maintain our family traditions and enjoy our celebration.

Larlo can’t receive a gift or eat Christmas goodies or watch Christmas movies or make glitter ornaments with his cousins. You tell me what he can do besides walk around and watch others have fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find another time to exchange gift that is not religious.

Xmas has nothing to do with gifts.

The gifts aren’t religious, and it’s a family tradition. We don’t get together as a family much due to logistics and this is the one time a year we are all together.

Traditions can change. You can do a family get together with gifts another time. In my family, as people married and had families, we moved our big event to Columbus Day weekend and made it Halloween themed. I know others who do a winter solstice celebration.

But if they aren’t important enough to figure out a different plan, then you have to respect their wishes.

No, they don't have to change their long standing traditions;4 to appease non believers. BIL will have to just learn to roll with it. Why does everyone have to kowtow to him?

Because that’s what people who love each other do. They look at creative ways of managing differences. No one will be hurt by moving gift giving Another time. But some will be hurt by not trying to find a compromise.

And some will be hurt by not being able to continue the traditions, despite your glossing over that obvious fact. What compromise is BIL making? None so far.

NP. BIL is compromising by participating in a Christmas gathering, because he knows spending time with family and cousin time and sharing a meal are all good things. That’s something he can do—show up to a Christmas celebration. What he can’t do is allow his kids to get Christmas gifts. See how he is, indeed, compromising and meeting people halfway for the sake of spending time together?

Team BIL.

Yes, he can allow his kid to get a friggin Christmas gift. He absolutely can. It means nothing. It certainly has nothing to do with believing in God.

The guy is a controlling dick.

It is a privilege of being Christian (even if secular) to think that Christmas gifts are not religious. They may be meant "culturally" but the exchange is still rooted in Christianity, which BIL is opposed to. He values family enough to come to the gathering and be together, even when he is against the holiday. Why isn't that enough? Raising a child outside of Christianity is a valid parenting choice.

It is a perfectly valid parenting choice for someone with a stick up his ass. You’re right about that.

Nobody is saying he should baptize his kid, send him to CCD, and turn him into a priest. They’re saying let his damned grandmother put a gift under a tree for him like a normal grandmother does and like normal son-in-law should respect. There are bigger issues in the world. The guy sounds exhausting, and he sounds like a prick.

There are plenty of opportunities for "normal grandmothers" to lavish gifts on their grandchildren. Her daughter is asking her to skip this one occasion to respect their atheism.

It’s a $25 gift. Nothing lavish about it. The guy is a prick. This has nothing to do with religion, and everything to do with a guy being an unreasonable attention seeking pain in the ass.

Do you know what "lavishing gifts" means? It means to give many gifts. It's not a comment on the lavishness of the gifts.
And it sounds like he and his family will just sit and not participate in the gift exchange. It wouldn't be garnering so much attention if OP would just respect that, instead of insisting they participate.

She’s not “insisting they participate.” She wants their KID to get a gift. He’s a controlling prick whose kid is going to grow up hating him.

Incredibly sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find another time to exchange gift that is not religious.

Xmas has nothing to do with gifts.

The gifts aren’t religious, and it’s a family tradition. We don’t get together as a family much due to logistics and this is the one time a year we are all together.

Traditions can change. You can do a family get together with gifts another time. In my family, as people married and had families, we moved our big event to Columbus Day weekend and made it Halloween themed. I know others who do a winter solstice celebration.

But if they aren’t important enough to figure out a different plan, then you have to respect their wishes.

No, they don't have to change their long standing traditions;4 to appease non believers. BIL will have to just learn to roll with it. Why does everyone have to kowtow to him?

Because that’s what people who love each other do. They look at creative ways of managing differences. No one will be hurt by moving gift giving Another time. But some will be hurt by not trying to find a compromise.

And some will be hurt by not being able to continue the traditions, despite your glossing over that obvious fact. What compromise is BIL making? None so far.

NP. BIL is compromising by participating in a Christmas gathering, because he knows spending time with family and cousin time and sharing a meal are all good things. That’s something he can do—show up to a Christmas celebration. What he can’t do is allow his kids to get Christmas gifts. See how he is, indeed, compromising and meeting people halfway for the sake of spending time together?

Team BIL.

Yes, he can allow his kid to get a friggin Christmas gift. He absolutely can. It means nothing. It certainly has nothing to do with believing in God.

The guy is a controlling dick.

It is a privilege of being Christian (even if secular) to think that Christmas gifts are not religious. They may be meant "culturally" but the exchange is still rooted in Christianity, which BIL is opposed to. He values family enough to come to the gathering and be together, even when he is against the holiday. Why isn't that enough? Raising a child outside of Christianity is a valid parenting choice.

It is a perfectly valid parenting choice for someone with a stick up his ass. You’re right about that.

Nobody is saying he should baptize his kid, send him to CCD, and turn him into a priest. They’re saying let his damned grandmother put a gift under a tree for him like a normal grandmother does and like normal son-in-law should respect. There are bigger issues in the world. The guy sounds exhausting, and he sounds like a prick.

There are plenty of opportunities for "normal grandmothers" to lavish gifts on their grandchildren. Her daughter is asking her to skip this one occasion to respect their atheism.

It’s a $25 gift. Nothing lavish about it. The guy is a prick. This has nothing to do with religion, and everything to do with a guy being an unreasonable attention seeking pain in the ass.

Do you know what "lavishing gifts" means? It means to give many gifts. It's not a comment on the lavishness of the gifts.
And it sounds like he and his family will just sit and not participate in the gift exchange. It wouldn't be garnering so much attention if OP would just respect that, instead of insisting they participate.

She’s not “insisting they participate.” She wants their KID to get a gift. He’s a controlling prick whose kid is going to grow up hating him.

She wants their kid to get a gift because grandma "will die" (or something dramatic like that from many pages ago) if she doesn't get to put a gift under the tree for him. Giving a gift that the parents have asked not to be part of IS "insisting they participate."

Yea, well, that’s just OP being dramatic. But even if it weren’t, it only reinforces my view. Obviously this is extremely important to the grandmother, and it’s a very small thing, so why does the son-in-law have to be a pain in the ass about it? She’s not asking to baptize the kid. He is being a big baby. If he were in my family I’d punch him in the face. Like Hung Cao wants to do to Dr Fauci lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Give it to him a prior unwrapped. Happy Wednesday!

❤️ If we did that and they left angrily, would we be bad people?

Yes. Why would you choose to alienate your sisters family and make her life more difficult.

You asked your sister a question (can we give Larlo a gift?), she gave you an answer (no thank you). You're taking her answer as a personal rejection and that's what's making this difficult.

No, that’s not true. My sister fully participated in Christmas until she got married. She had Christmas gifts galore as a child. Her grandmother gave her Christmas gifts. She ate candy and cookies at Christmas. She sat on Santa’s lap and had her picture taken, and watched Rudolph and Elf and all Christmas movies.

Now, after participating in Christmas and getting gifts and Christmas fun her whole life, we are supposed to change everything for her husband?

It's not true that you asked her a question? Not true that she answered? Not true that you're taking it personally?
It doesn't sound like she's asking you to "change everything" for her husband. They didn't ask you to stop the gift giving tradition.

Many people posting here suggested we not give gifts to accommodate my bil. They tried to make me feel guilty for wanting to maintain our family traditions and enjoy our celebration.

Larlo can’t receive a gift or eat Christmas goodies or watch Christmas movies or make glitter ornaments with his cousins. You tell me what he can do besides walk around and watch others have fun.

Your story is a moving target. It started as a single gift. Then sweets. Now glitter ornaments and Christmas movies.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Find another time to exchange gift that is not religious.

Xmas has nothing to do with gifts.

The gifts aren’t religious, and it’s a family tradition. We don’t get together as a family much due to logistics and this is the one time a year we are all together.

Traditions can change. You can do a family get together with gifts another time. In my family, as people married and had families, we moved our big event to Columbus Day weekend and made it Halloween themed. I know others who do a winter solstice celebration.

But if they aren’t important enough to figure out a different plan, then you have to respect their wishes.

No, they don't have to change their long standing traditions;4 to appease non believers. BIL will have to just learn to roll with it. Why does everyone have to kowtow to him?

Because that’s what people who love each other do. They look at creative ways of managing differences. No one will be hurt by moving gift giving Another time. But some will be hurt by not trying to find a compromise.

And some will be hurt by not being able to continue the traditions, despite your glossing over that obvious fact. What compromise is BIL making? None so far.

NP. BIL is compromising by participating in a Christmas gathering, because he knows spending time with family and cousin time and sharing a meal are all good things. That’s something he can do—show up to a Christmas celebration. What he can’t do is allow his kids to get Christmas gifts. See how he is, indeed, compromising and meeting people halfway for the sake of spending time together?

Team BIL.

Yes, he can allow his kid to get a friggin Christmas gift. He absolutely can. It means nothing. It certainly has nothing to do with believing in God.

The guy is a controlling dick.

It is a privilege of being Christian (even if secular) to think that Christmas gifts are not religious. They may be meant "culturally" but the exchange is still rooted in Christianity, which BIL is opposed to. He values family enough to come to the gathering and be together, even when he is against the holiday. Why isn't that enough? Raising a child outside of Christianity is a valid parenting choice.

It is a perfectly valid parenting choice for someone with a stick up his ass. You’re right about that.

Nobody is saying he should baptize his kid, send him to CCD, and turn him into a priest. They’re saying let his damned grandmother put a gift under a tree for him like a normal grandmother does and like normal son-in-law should respect. There are bigger issues in the world. The guy sounds exhausting, and he sounds like a prick.

There are plenty of opportunities for "normal grandmothers" to lavish gifts on their grandchildren. Her daughter is asking her to skip this one occasion to respect their atheism.

It’s a $25 gift. Nothing lavish about it. The guy is a prick. This has nothing to do with religion, and everything to do with a guy being an unreasonable attention seeking pain in the ass.

Do you know what "lavishing gifts" means? It means to give many gifts. It's not a comment on the lavishness of the gifts.
And it sounds like he and his family will just sit and not participate in the gift exchange. It wouldn't be garnering so much attention if OP would just respect that, instead of insisting they participate.

She’s not “insisting they participate.” She wants their KID to get a gift. He’s a controlling prick whose kid is going to grow up hating him.

She wants their kid to get a gift because grandma "will die" (or something dramatic like that from many pages ago) if she doesn't get to put a gift under the tree for him. Giving a gift that the parents have asked not to be part of IS "insisting they participate."

Yea, well, that’s just OP being dramatic. But even if it weren’t, it only reinforces my view. Obviously this is extremely important to the grandmother, and it’s a very small thing, so why does the son-in-law have to be a pain in the ass about it? She’s not asking to baptize the kid. He is being a big baby. If he were in my family I’d punch him in the face. Like Hung Cao wants to do to Dr Fauci lol.

Someone is going to have to ask bil if he is going to talk about Santa not being real in front of the small kids at the gathering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give it to him a prior unwrapped. Happy Wednesday!

❤️ If we did that and they left angrily, would we be bad people?

Yes. Why would you choose to alienate your sisters family and make her life more difficult.

You asked your sister a question (can we give Larlo a gift?), she gave you an answer (no thank you). You're taking her answer as a personal rejection and that's what's making this difficult.

No, that’s not true. My sister fully participated in Christmas until she got married. She had Christmas gifts galore as a child. Her grandmother gave her Christmas gifts. She ate candy and cookies at Christmas. She sat on Santa’s lap and had her picture taken, and watched Rudolph and Elf and all Christmas movies.

Now, after participating in Christmas and getting gifts and Christmas fun her whole life, we are supposed to change everything for her husband?

It's not true that you asked her a question? Not true that she answered? Not true that you're taking it personally?
It doesn't sound like she's asking you to "change everything" for her husband. They didn't ask you to stop the gift giving tradition.

Many people posting here suggested we not give gifts to accommodate my bil. They tried to make me feel guilty for wanting to maintain our family traditions and enjoy our celebration.

Larlo can’t receive a gift or eat Christmas goodies or watch Christmas movies or make glitter ornaments with his cousins. You tell me what he can do besides walk around and watch others have fun.

Your story is a moving target. It started as a single gift. Then sweets. Now glitter ornaments and Christmas movies.

Yeah, bil won’t allow the above.