Atheist bil won’t allow 3 year old nephew to receive a gift during holidays

[Anonymous]

We have a family get together each Christmas, with a large meal and board games and a walk as the main activities. No adults exchange gifts. We do, as a family, contribute to a fund to buy a $25 or so priced gift for each child in our family. My mother/their grandmother makes sure each gift is wanted and wraps the gifts to place under the Christmas tree for the children. Our sister is agnostic married to an atheist. They’ve attended each year and declined a gift for their son, our nephew/grandson. This year the child is 3, almost 4. My mother is worried he will see the other children (his cousins) opening their gifts, playing with their toys, and feel left out and be sad, cry, etc. I called my sister and asked if mom could give their son a gift and wrap it in a plain colored paper for him to open. We don’t want to put it under the tree. Mom can put it somewhere else and give it to Larlo as a gift from grandma to grandchild.

My sister discussed it with her husband, and they decided that’s not acceptable. My mom is so sad. We can’t go against their wishes, but it seems cruel. We don’t want them to stop spending time with us, or think we don’t accept their choices. We do. We love them. But mom is wanting to see her grandson happy and not left out. Any advice? We also don’t want to not get a gift for the other grandkids to make it “fair,” and stop that tradition.

[Anonymous]

OP it's none of your business.

[Anonymous]

It is their decision, but I don't see why they come to the Christmas gathering at all if they are against celebrating... We are atheist/agnostic in our house but we love Christmas as a cultural celebration - food, Santa, gift giving!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP it's none of your business.

I love my family and want everyone to have a pleasant get together, especially my elderly mother and the children.

[Anonymous]

Find another time to exchange gift that is not religious.

Xmas has nothing to do with gifts.

[Anonymous]

Have a gift in plain paper ready for the child. If the parents change their mind while visiting, you can have the gift ready to go.

If they do not opt for this, then continue to respect the parents’ wishes. I’m confident your mother can stop being dramatic for five minutes and think of other ways to make her grandchild feel loved and included.

[Anonymous]

My advice is for you to let them parent as they wish. Chances are decent they’ll change their minds over time, but even if they don’t, there’s nothing you can do.

[Anonymous]

There’s nothing you can do. weird that they even come to a Christmas celebration if they’re that hardcore but not your circus, not your monkeys. They can manage the kid if he gets understandably upset.

[Anonymous]

Is this some weird troll against atheists?

My very atheist husband, who refused a church wedding and Catholic baptisms for the kids, is perfectly happy with me explaining the meaning of Christmas to them, Christmas carols, gifts, etc.

And I myself am keenly aware that most Christmas traditions predate the Catholic church, and are pagan in nature.

I don't believe this story, frankly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Find another time to exchange gift that is not religious.

Xmas has nothing to do with gifts.

The gifts aren’t religious, and it’s a family tradition. We don’t get together as a family much due to logistics and this is the one time a year we are all together.

[Anonymous]

It’s their job to teach their son about different religious (/lack of religion) and I think he will be just fine! He may as a 3 year old pout a bit but there are many thousands of interfaith families where some cousins get Christmas or Hanukkah presents and some do not and I promise everyone is fine!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP it's none of your business.

I love my family and want everyone to have a pleasant get together, especially my elderly mother and the children.

Your sister and her husband already told you their wishes. Either you respect it or don't invite them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this some weird troll against atheists?

My very atheist husband, who refused a church wedding and Catholic baptisms for the kids, is perfectly happy with me explaining the meaning of Christmas to them, Christmas carols, gifts, etc.

And I myself am keenly aware that most Christmas traditions predate the Catholic church, and are pagan in nature.

I don't believe this story, frankly.

It’s absolutely real, we are planning everything now.

[Anonymous]

I think OP is trolling...

[Anonymous]

Let their kid be sad and upset and let the parents deal with it. This will almost certainly backfire on them and they will learn the hard way.