Less successful sister is acting like she's the de facto owner of dad's beach house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen this before. What will happen is the sister will simply use the beach house as if it's her own, and will not agree to sell or to buy out her siblings. Be prepared, OP.

I am going through this EXACT situation. Its been 11 years and sister won't sell it and it's in Europe so legally things are different.

And my sister uses it and lets all her friends use it then in return they let her use their vacation homes.

Does the sister still pay her share of taxes and annual upkeep and maintenance?

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mentioning that her sister is less successful seems petty. It rubbed me the wrong way immediately.

You sound insecure. You must be unsuccessful and sensitive about it.

[Anonymous]

You lost my sympathy at “less successful sister.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You lost my sympathy at “less successful sister.”

Well, now we know exactly how OP measures human value.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mentioning that her sister is less successful seems petty. It rubbed me the wrong way immediately.

You'd prefer OP to act as if the sister is wealthy, works full time, her BIL is a rich surgeon? The sister being long-term unemployed teases out work ethic and character issues, it explains her additional free time, it signals she can't afford a second home of her own, it tees up the dad possibly feeling sorry for her and her husband so they can weasel a larger than 33.3% cut of the dad's estate. It also creates a sense of entitlement in a mooch, when they see a sibling "with" and they are without, it rationalizes more ruthless mooching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mentioning that her sister is less successful seems petty. It rubbed me the wrong way immediately.

You'd prefer OP to act as if the sister is wealthy, works full time, her BIL is a rich surgeon? The sister being long-term unemployed teases out work ethic and character issues, it explains her additional free time, it signals she can't afford a second home of her own, it tees up the dad possibly feeling sorry for her and her husband so they can weasel a larger than 33.3% cut of the dad's estate. It also creates a sense of entitlement in a mooch, when they see a sibling "with" and they are without, it rationalizes more ruthless mooching.

x100000000

THIS.

[Anonymous]

Is your sister a SAHM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mentioning that her sister is less successful seems petty. It rubbed me the wrong way immediately.

You'd prefer OP to act as if the sister is wealthy, works full time, her BIL is a rich surgeon? The sister being long-term unemployed teases out work ethic and character issues, it explains her additional free time, it signals she can't afford a second home of her own, it tees up the dad possibly feeling sorry for her and her husband so they can weasel a larger than 33.3% cut of the dad's estate. It also creates a sense of entitlement in a mooch, when they see a sibling "with" and they are without, it rationalizes more ruthless mooching.

x100000000

THIS.

+2 Plus, I took at as she isn't in a position to buy out OP and the brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is one big projection by OP. Her only interest in her father is the size of her future inheritance, so she assumes everyone else views him the same way. It’s gross, OP.

Agree that OP is entirely preoccupied with her own inheritance, which she presumes is her sister’s angle because she visits her dad without OP’s explicit permission.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is one big projection by OP. Her only interest in her father is the size of her future inheritance, so she assumes everyone else views him the same way. It’s gross, OP.

Agree that OP is entirely preoccupied with her own inheritance, which she presumes is her sister’s angle because she visits her dad without OP’s explicit permission.

I don't think sister is visiting Dad. It's a beach house. Sister just goes with her husband, father isn't there. That was my understanding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you envision happening when your father dies? Are you going to try to share your dad's beach house with your siblings? Buy them out? Sell them your share?

OP, you haven't answered. It's not $333K of cash sitting in a bank account. It's a place that can't be split easily three ways. It's clear that you think your sister is trying to steal it, which would be awful. But what's your dream scenario?

Most normal people would have sister buy them out. If sister can't affird that then they can all sell.

You're in la-la land if you think a mooch is going to cough up at least $666k when they've gotten used to pseudo owning it for nothing. It's not how a mooch thinks. They're not giving any mindshare to building their credit and savings, get a career going, for the next few years in hopes of taking out a $666k plus mortgage to buy out the siblings' shares. Far more likely to be thinking they can break down the old man so he'll sign the beach house over to them outright.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is one big projection by OP. Her only interest in her father is the size of her future inheritance, so she assumes everyone else views him the same way. It’s gross, OP.

Agree that OP is entirely preoccupied with her own inheritance, which she presumes is her sister’s angle because she visits her dad without OP’s explicit permission.

I don't think sister is visiting Dad. It's a beach house. Sister just goes with her husband, father isn't there. That was my understanding.

That’s not what OP said down thread. Also, OP is so greedy that she’d rather sell the beach house when her father dies than let her sister and brother use it so they can spend family time together. Hopefully when she forces a sale her sister will keep turning up at her doorstep. Lord knows that will piss OP off. I’m sure there’s nothing the sister can do that is good enough for OP.

[Anonymous]

Either this forum is full of deadbeats or they don't have any first-hand experience with any. I especially love how a few posters are pretending a deadbeat unemployed sister is suddenly a general foreman bossing around tradesmen working on her dad's beach house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is wild. OP sounds paranoid and like he or she needs professional help. Just because the sister is involved in the beach house doesn’t mean she is trying to take control or future inheritance.

Also have no idea what OP’s beachhouse has to do with any of this. Except that it seems like OP is resentful that he or she bought their own beach house and the sister can just use dad’s

Seems to me that OP made a mistake buying a beach house, no? OP you should just sell yours and start visiting your dad.

You are naive. Not OP, but I have heard 4 stories where the "family beach home" or other vacation home caused estrangements and even legal battles. The father is very naive not to make his intentions know in writing. The best idea for sibling relationships is to be as far as possible. You all can berate OP all you want, but I've seen even seemingly happy families fall into discord over the stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is one big projection by OP. Her only interest in her father is the size of her future inheritance, so she assumes everyone else views him the same way. It’s gross, OP.

Agree that OP is entirely preoccupied with her own inheritance, which she presumes is her sister’s angle because she visits her dad without OP’s explicit permission.

I don't think sister is visiting Dad. It's a beach house. Sister just goes with her husband, father isn't there. That was my understanding.

The father lives there. She is visiting dad at a beach house.