Affluent people with dirty/messy houses

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m uncomfortable with setting the expectation for my male kids that house cleaning is done by someone who is female and has more melanin and probably doesn’t speak English as a first language. We do it ourselves, which means it might be a while between cleaning if friends aren’t coming over. No, I’m not embarrassed.

Same here (although I’m uncomfortable with this for both female and male kids). I clean all the time, but it would probably still look a mess to someone who just dropped in. Don’t care. I think people should be responsible for their own messes.

Are you also uncomfortable with all the home maintenance being done by men? New roof, flooring, painting, plumbing, landscaping, etc. Just curious.... the door of equal opportunity swings both ways

I laugh at this. My spouse never does any of this maintenance!

I’m the “Same here…” PP (a female) and I’ve done all the interior painting in our house and a few plumbing jobs. Love that kind of stuff.

[Anonymous]

Rich girls don't grow up dusting, vacuuming, doing laundry, and cleaning toilets. Like, don't even know how to pour detergent into a washing machine, don't know that liquid dish soap doesn't go into the dishwasher, etc. I've seen it. That's what hired help is for in their world. Some don't even know how to make tea. When they become adults, if money isn't there to have that help, they may not be good at doing it themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rich girls don't grow up dusting, vacuuming, doing laundry, and cleaning toilets. Like, don't even know how to pour detergent into a washing machine, don't know that liquid dish soap doesn't go into the dishwasher, etc. I've seen it. That's what hired help is for in their world. Some don't even know how to make tea. When they become adults, if money isn't there to have that help, they may not be good at doing it themselves.

Can rich boys figure it out though?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Affluent person with a super messy house here.

The hassle of getting my house cleaned just outweighs the benefit of having a clean house for me. Cleaners may vacuum and mop and all that, but it's not their job to pick up clothes, dishes, empty cans/bottles, or know where to put back general clutter, so it's its own work getting the house ready for them to clean. My wife and I both work from home, so we have to be constantly moving while they go from room to room. Vacuum noise disrupts work meetings. We also have an aggressive dog so we have to figure out something to do with him while they're here.

It's just too much damn work for something that supposedly saves you work.

Most people see your “too much damn work” as the basic chores of daily life.

If that's how most people want to spend their time, more power to them. I'd rather have more free time than a cleaner house.

It’s not like that’s how I want to spend my time, it’s like that’s just the work of living a healthy life. Like brushing your teeth and washing your hair.

Weird, I've never had a coffee table rot away because I left a plate on it for too long. Nor have I ever had a carpet twist itself into dreadlocks because I took too long before I vacuumed it. I've also never once had to bring my house or even photos of my house to work or a job interview. It's almost like cleaning your house and brushing your teeth or washing your hair are absolutely nothing alike.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m uncomfortable with setting the expectation for my male kids that house cleaning is done by someone who is female and has more melanin and probably doesn’t speak English as a first language. We do it ourselves, which means it might be a while between cleaning if friends aren’t coming over. No, I’m not embarrassed.

Same here (although I’m uncomfortable with this for both female and male kids). I clean all the time, but it would probably still look a mess to someone who just dropped in. Don’t care. I think people should be responsible for their own messes.

Are you also uncomfortable with all the home maintenance being done by men? New roof, flooring, painting, plumbing, landscaping, etc. Just curious.... the door of equal opportunity swings both ways

I laugh at this. My spouse never does any of this maintenance!

I’m the “Same here…” PP (a female) and I’ve done all the interior painting in our house and a few plumbing jobs. Love that kind of stuff.

DP but I'm the same! I refuse to hire a woman of color to clean our house so my kids come to view that as the normal way of things. My DH does laundry and cooks, I paint and do minor electrical/plumbing/car related things. I still probably do most of the cleaning because DH is not as good at it as I am but in order to combat what this communicates, he's in charge of keeping their rooms clean (with their help but they are very little so they can't yet vacuum or do laundry and stuff). So they regularly see him cleaning and also he winds up showing them how to clean things a lot.

We have two girls and no boys but I think I'd feel even more strongly about it with boys. I like that my girls see me cleaning and doing lots of things -- they know I'm competent and get stuff done and that's a great model for them. With boys I'd worry a lot about them viewing household tasks as something women do. If we'd had boys I think I'd make sure DH was doing even more around the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m uncomfortable with setting the expectation for my male kids that house cleaning is done by someone who is female and has more melanin and probably doesn’t speak English as a first language. We do it ourselves, which means it might be a while between cleaning if friends aren’t coming over. No, I’m not embarrassed.

Same here (although I’m uncomfortable with this for both female and male kids). I clean all the time, but it would probably still look a mess to someone who just dropped in. Don’t care. I think people should be responsible for their own messes.

Are you also uncomfortable with all the home maintenance being done by men? New roof, flooring, painting, plumbing, landscaping, etc. Just curious.... the door of equal opportunity swings both ways

I laugh at this. My spouse never does any of this maintenance!

I’m the “Same here…” PP (a female) and I’ve done all the interior painting in our house and a few plumbing jobs. Love that kind of stuff.

DP but I'm the same! I refuse to hire a woman of color to clean our house so my kids come to view that as the normal way of things. My DH does laundry and cooks, I paint and do minor electrical/plumbing/car related things. I still probably do most of the cleaning because DH is not as good at it as I am but in order to combat what this communicates, he's in charge of keeping their rooms clean (with their help but they are very little so they can't yet vacuum or do laundry and stuff). So they regularly see him cleaning and also he winds up showing them how to clean things a lot.

We have two girls and no boys but I think I'd feel even more strongly about it with boys. I like that my girls see me cleaning and doing lots of things -- they know I'm competent and get stuff done and that's a great model for them. With boys I'd worry a lot about them viewing household tasks as something women do. If we'd had boys I think I'd make sure DH was doing even more around the house.

Do you work 50 hours a week outside the home as well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Affluent person with a super messy house here.

The hassle of getting my house cleaned just outweighs the benefit of having a clean house for me. Cleaners may vacuum and mop and all that, but it's not their job to pick up clothes, dishes, empty cans/bottles, or know where to put back general clutter, so it's its own work getting the house ready for them to clean. My wife and I both work from home, so we have to be constantly moving while they go from room to room. Vacuum noise disrupts work meetings. We also have an aggressive dog so we have to figure out something to do with him while they're here.

It's just too much damn work for something that supposedly saves you work.

Most people see your “too much damn work” as the basic chores of daily life.

If that's how most people want to spend their time, more power to them. I'd rather have more free time than a cleaner house.

It’s not like that’s how I want to spend my time, it’s like that’s just the work of living a healthy life. Like brushing your teeth and washing your hair.

Weird, I've never had a coffee table rot away because I left a plate on it for too long. Nor have I ever had a carpet twist itself into dreadlocks because I took too long before I vacuumed it. I've also never once had to bring my house or even photos of my house to work or a job interview. It's almost like cleaning your house and brushing your teeth or washing your hair are absolutely nothing alike.

Yeah my general approach is let things slide if there are no negative consequences. I vacuum and sweep the kitchen because of mice, but random hairs may stay in my bathroom sink for quite a while. So far no negative consequences. But I am very careful about flossing!!! DH and I each work 50+ hours a week. My motto is ruthlessly prioritize. Not being super type A about the state of my house is part of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m uncomfortable with setting the expectation for my male kids that house cleaning is done by someone who is female and has more melanin and probably doesn’t speak English as a first language. We do it ourselves, which means it might be a while between cleaning if friends aren’t coming over. No, I’m not embarrassed.

Same here (although I’m uncomfortable with this for both female and male kids). I clean all the time, but it would probably still look a mess to someone who just dropped in. Don’t care. I think people should be responsible for their own messes.

Are you also uncomfortable with all the home maintenance being done by men? New roof, flooring, painting, plumbing, landscaping, etc. Just curious.... the door of equal opportunity swings both ways

I laugh at this. My spouse never does any of this maintenance!

I’m the “Same here…” PP (a female) and I’ve done all the interior painting in our house and a few plumbing jobs. Love that kind of stuff.

DP but I'm the same! I refuse to hire a woman of color to clean our house so my kids come to view that as the normal way of things. My DH does laundry and cooks, I paint and do minor electrical/plumbing/car related things. I still probably do most of the cleaning because DH is not as good at it as I am but in order to combat what this communicates, he's in charge of keeping their rooms clean (with their help but they are very little so they can't yet vacuum or do laundry and stuff). So they regularly see him cleaning and also he winds up showing them how to clean things a lot.

We have two girls and no boys but I think I'd feel even more strongly about it with boys. I like that my girls see me cleaning and doing lots of things -- they know I'm competent and get stuff done and that's a great model for them. With boys I'd worry a lot about them viewing household tasks as something women do. If we'd had boys I think I'd make sure DH was doing even more around the house.

Do you work 50 hours a week outside the home as well?

As well as whom? You? Or do you assume my DH works 50 hr/wk outside the home? He doesn’t. We both work, mostly from home. Our hours vary.

[Anonymous]

We are two working professionals , one with an extremely demanding career. Our time and resources are a precious commodity. There is no way i would prioritize keeping my kitchen island clutter free vs. helping my child with homework or with a project or making and selecting gifts for holidays etc etc. There is only so much time in the day and living creates clutter. I try to keep the house to a level that is acceptable to me and does not hinder our everyday life. I could care less what others think.

We do have a weekly cleaner, so keeping the house clean is important.