Do you judge other women based on the social status of their husbands?

[Anonymous]

This sort of came up in a thread about social status recently, but people were talking in abstract terms about how marital status and the person you marry impacts social status.

But I want to know if you, personally, judge women based on the social status of their husbands. If a woman is married to a guy whose family has money, or who has a higher status career like lawyer/doctor/C-suite/finance, do you think about her differently than you would if she was married to someone with working class parents or a lower status job?

Assume the woman's background, job, appearance, are all the same. Does your perception of her change based on the social status of the person she married? Not his personality or how he treats her or what kind of dad he is, but just the external social status based on money, family background, and job status.

[Anonymous]

Yes, if they are a rich housewife of a high achiever who didn’t ever have her own career or achievements, I judge because I assume she has nothing going on. I certainly don’t judge them positively.

[Anonymous]

Women can't have it both ways. You can't say men don't matter financially yet turn around and judge other women by the financial status of their men. That's called hypocrisy, a contradiction. Please stop.

[Anonymous]

I don’t care.

[Anonymous]

I don't care myself about other wives but I have been judged a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women can't have it both ways. You can't say men don't matter financially yet turn around and judge other women by the financial status of their men. That's called hypocrisy, a contradiction. Please stop.

I think it’s misguided to say that men's financial statuses don't matter if you intend to marry one. Marriage is a binding financial partnership with joint and several liabilities. Choosing a partner who isn't contributing is a poor financial decision, and that's the judgment I stand by.

[Anonymous]

Well, here’s my experience as a female physician. I attended a dinner with several other friends of friends, all doctors. I said hello to the woman across the table from me, and the first question out of her mouth was “and what does your husband do?”.

Needless to say it was a short conversation, but a preview of what was to come. I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter how successful I am, there is far more worth placed on the status or occupation of my would-be male partner. I’m single, so it’s a disappointing reality for a few reasons.

[Anonymous]

The only thing I judge is childless women who don’t work and live off their boyfriend/fiancee/husband. It’s a trend that I find creepy and pathetic. I’m sure the men have great jobs but I’m not impressed at all and assume those relationships will fail.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't care at all about anyone's parents. But if I feel a man is lazy, that's not a good thing. The career does not have to be high status, especially if it is a helping profession. But it's not okay to be lazy. If he doesn't work and also doesn't do childcare and be helpful in the community, that's unimpressive.

I have a family member who to some may appear to be a small time contractor who owns a one-man company, but is actually a specialist in a narrow historic field, travels internationally to do construction, and has written books and many articles as well. Sometimes people aren't very good at assessing what a job actually is.

[Anonymous]

This post recalls the days when the wife of the highest-ranking military officer was the one who was designated to pour the tea at base luncheons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care.

+1 some people need to get a hobby.

[Anonymous]

I judge people based on themselves, not on their husbands. Sometimes the male executive marries the executive, sometimes he marries the trashy waitress (and everything in between). And either is fine. People are free to marry who they want.

You are what you are and marriage or a job title don’t change this. I have to know who YOU are before deciding if I want to be friends. I don’t care about your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only thing I judge is childless women who don’t work and live off their boyfriend/fiancee/husband. It’s a trend that I find creepy and pathetic. I’m sure the men have great jobs but I’m not impressed at all and assume those relationships will fail.

Someone sounds jealous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't care myself about other wives but I have been judged a lot.

+1

[Anonymous]

Of course Mrs Darcy!