Stop asking teens about college plans

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She could say " I don't know yet, where did YOU go?"

THIS because adults are just trying to make conversation and relive their college years. Which they all remember as wonderful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People ask rude questions all the time. Or say rude things. This has been the case as long as I've been alive and will continue forever. So, you had best learn to deal with it. Expressing outrage over the question will not change things.

Learn how to handle and deflect rude questions at the first pass. Some helpful suggestions have been given here. Then, if they persist, you can shut it down more bluntly.

This is a skill. Once practiced, it's effective. It's one lots of posters here clearly do not have.

This is the most helpful and true response.

[Anonymous]

It’s one of the basic miscommunications. Adults fondly remember college and the 2 hours they spent applying. They have no idea what applying to college is like now. Just deflect to I haven’t decided where did YOU go to college. Most people SIL take that one and run with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She could say " I don't know yet, where did YOU go?"

THIS because adults are just trying to make conversation and relive their college years. Which they all remember as wonderful.

I prefer, I haven’t decided yet when are you gonna lose all that baby weight your kid is 12.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She could say " I don't know yet, where did YOU go?"

THIS because adults are just trying to make conversation and relive their college years. Which they all remember as wonderful.

I prefer, I haven’t decided yet when are you gonna lose all that baby weight your kid is 12.

😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She could say " I don't know yet, where did YOU go?"

THIS because adults are just trying to make conversation and relive their college years. Which they all remember as wonderful.

I prefer, I haven’t decided yet when are you gonna lose all that baby weight your kid is 12.

😂

New to this thread. As an adult without a teenager, I have to admit I did not know discussing college plans was something teens did not want to discuss. We are not trying to be rude, we are really just honestly interested in the kids plans, hopes, and dreams. I often ask newly engaged people "if they set a date yet" or an expecting couple "if they know if they are having a boy or a girl." Now I'm fearful that those questions are out of bounds as well and my generation needs to rethink societal norms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People ask rude questions all the time. Or say rude things. This has been the case as long as I've been alive and will continue forever. So, you had best learn to deal with it. Expressing outrage over the question will not change things.

Learn how to handle and deflect rude questions at the first pass. Some helpful suggestions have been given here. Then, if they persist, you can shut it down more bluntly.

This is a skill. Once practiced, it's effective. It's one lots of posters here clearly do not have.

This is the most helpful and true response.

In no way it is a rude question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s one of the basic miscommunications. Adults fondly remember college and the 2 hours they spent applying. They have no idea what applying to college is like now. Just deflect to I haven’t decided where did YOU go to college. Most people SIL take that one and run with it.

2 hours? Back in the day we had to write an essay for every single school on a typewriter and freaking mail it with a check. Now they can apply to 14 schools online with one essay and a few supplementals. Come on man. It is not harder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s one of the basic miscommunications. Adults fondly remember college and the 2 hours they spent applying. They have no idea what applying to college is like now. Just deflect to I haven’t decided where did YOU go to college. Most people SIL take that one and run with it.

2 hours? Back in the day we had to write an essay for every single school on a typewriter and freaking mail it with a check. Now they can apply to 14 schools online with one essay and a few supplementals. Come on man. It is not harder.

+1. We had none of the resources kids do these days.

[Anonymous]

Oh please. My kid won’t be able to go to college so he tells people about the plans he has instead.

[Anonymous]

Ummm what else are we supposed to conversate with your teen about? Not much else we can discuss

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s one of the basic miscommunications. Adults fondly remember college and the 2 hours they spent applying. They have no idea what applying to college is like now. Just deflect to I haven’t decided where did YOU go to college. Most people SIL take that one and run with it.

2 hours? Back in the day we had to write an essay for every single school on a typewriter and freaking mail it with a check. Now they can apply to 14 schools online with one essay and a few supplementals. Come on man. It is not harder.

+1. We had none of the resources kids do these days.

I filled out one application, no essay and got in.

UMCP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ummm what else are we supposed to conversate with your teen about? Not much else we can discuss

How was your summer
Are you doing anything fun this year sports/arts/classes
Do you have any interests outside of school
What type of music do you like, are you going to any concerts?
How is senior year going, are you going to homecoming/prom? or is that not your thing?

Also, why are people spending a bunch of time with teens they don't even know. Talk about their interests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ummm what else are we supposed to conversate with your teen about? Not much else we can discuss

How was your summer
Are you doing anything fun this year sports/arts/classes
Do you have any interests outside of school
What type of music do you like, are you going to any concerts?
How is senior year going, are you going to homecoming/prom? is that not your thing?

Also, why are people spending a bunch of time with teens they don't even know. Talk about their interests.

This is less of a potential minefield than college talk? For real?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:College freshman here. Please stop asking us where we're going and what we're studying. I get that some people like family members and neighbors are curious but it can get really annoying. Also it's embarrassing to say it especially when you have family members and cousins who went to/are at Ivy League/big competitive state schools and you're at a community college. It makes that person feel so bad and feel like he or she is dumb and not meeting family expectations for college.

Grow up a little bit please. If you feel so bad about going to community college (that’s your own weird hang up and also insulting to people who attend community college) then you should work your ass off to improve your situation, instead of whining. There will always be people who are better than you, if mommy and daddy didn’t prepare you for that, I feel sorry for you.

lol wow I'm special needs so yes I DO need to go to comm. college and live closer to home. btw, I'm an average student so I'm not dumb like you probably think. also, my parents push me to work hard in school and to earn good grades. people like you are the reason why I'm embarrassed to say it. why don't you try to be nice to a 19 year old college freshman?