Strange Inheritance Situation - Need Perspective

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd love to hear the legal grounds pps think this will can be contested?
Note, legal grounds does not include the hurt feelings of adult children:

The will failed to comply with the statutory requirements for it to be valid, often an issue where wills are handwritten (in whole or in part), unsigned, not witnessed or not notarized
Breach of fiduciary duty, for example where a power of attorney does something in their self-interest instead of in the interest of the person they are supposed to be serving
Duress (threat of violence, abuse, or other unethical, coercive action)
Fraud that affected the details of the will
Forgery
Misrepresentation
Someone used undue influence to ensure that the terms of the will benefited them
The person who made the will can be proven to have been mentally ill, incapacitated, or otherwise lacked the capacity to make a will

You forgot about assumptions. There is an assumption that you would provide for your surviving spouse and children. If you want to disinherit them, you have to provide for that in the will. If you don’t, it is grounds for a contest.

OP, I’d ignore them. And only if you get served with a lawsuit or if you are really worried about it would I even bother to call a lawyer.

My God. Please cite the legal ground of assumptions.

Obviously you've never taken a wills and estates class. So, the short version is this. Most courts will assume that you forgot to mention your children if you don't make your intentions to disinherit them perfectly clear in your will. There are ways to do that. But simply not mentioning them will likely lead a court to assume that the deceased forgot and it will form the basis for overturning a will.

I think OP's stepfather intentionally skipped his bio children and stepchild (OP) for grandchildren. It is obvious from how the will is structured. I would not assume that a court would side with the bio kids. OP, are there biological grandchildren?

OP, it is unfortunate you are being harassed by your stepfather's bio children. The next time one of them bothers you, explain that you received nothing and have no ability to give them money. It is really up to your mother to make this right (if she wants to). Did she know how the will was structured? If I were your mom, and I could afford it, I would offer some token $$ to get them out of my life.

[Anonymous]

Maybe a stupid question but can OP make some admission concerning the inheritance of her kids? I think it's her obligation to safeguard the interests of her kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just some questions:
- How would the adult birth children know that the OP’s kids are beneficiaries?
-Are the adult birth children going after your mom too or just your kid’s portion?
-Do the adult birth kids have any idea of the total money picture?

I have been an executor, but there wasn’t an official reading of the will like I see on TV 😀

These ^^ were my questions. Can anyone answer?

[Anonymous]

I don't know what advice to give, op. All I can say it to be gracious and polite and understanding. That might go a long way to create goodwill on the step FIL's bio kids.
I am not saying give them the money, but ask yourself how would you feel in their shoes. Their side of the story is likely very, very different from the version you got.
In any situation, I find that starting from a point of view that is generous, accepting and gracious, is the best course of action. That doesn't mean that they will act the same, but at the end of the day when you go to bed, what will make you sleep without any regrets?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow!
At this point we do not know the truth in both sides but we do know he left a hot mess for his step daughter and grandkids to deal with. That’s says a lot about his character. He could have at least talked to the OP about his plan when he drew up his will.
What a jerky thing to do.

Exactly. So many men like op’s stepdad remarried and comprehend abandon their first set of kids. My dad did the same.

Op admits she doesn’t know what happened in their marriage.


Watch.. let’s see if someone does that to one of her grandchildren and see how it feels.

Everything always come back full circle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow!
At this point we do not know the truth in both sides but we do know he left a hot mess for his step daughter and grandkids to deal with. That’s says a lot about his character. He could have at least talked to the OP about his plan when he drew up his will.
What a jerky thing to do.

Exactly. So many men like op’s stepdad remarried and comprehend abandon their first set of kids. My dad did the same.

Op admits she doesn’t know what happened in their marriage.


Watch.. let’s see if someone does that to one of her grandchildren and see how it feels.

Everything always come back full circle.

DCUM’s insistence on siding with disinherited people is so odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know what advice to give, op. All I can say it to be gracious and polite and understanding. That might go a long way to create goodwill on the step FIL's bio kids.
I am not saying give them the money, but ask yourself how would you feel in their shoes. Their side of the story is likely very, very different from the version you got.
In any situation, I find that starting from a point of view that is generous, accepting and gracious, is the best course of action. That doesn't mean that they will act the same, but at the end of the day when you go to bed, what will make you sleep without any regrets?

Yes, but that only gets you so far given that we already know how they chose to act. If I were completely blindsided by being disinherited, I would be hurt, and angry at the person who disinherited me. (That's a big if, here, because at least on OP's understanding these kids knew they weren't close to the father -- they didn't send flowers or show up at his funeral!) So how would I respond in that situation? I might meditate, complain to my spouse, complain to my therapist, punch a pillow. What I would not do is harass the mother of the step-siblings who got a windfall. But that's what these crazies are doing to the poor OP.

I mean, seriously, if they showed up and physically assaulted OP, would we be saying, "put yourself in their shoes"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd love to hear the legal grounds pps think this will can be contested?
Note, legal grounds does not include the hurt feelings of adult children:

The will failed to comply with the statutory requirements for it to be valid, often an issue where wills are handwritten (in whole or in part), unsigned, not witnessed or not notarized
Breach of fiduciary duty, for example where a power of attorney does something in their self-interest instead of in the interest of the person they are supposed to be serving
Duress (threat of violence, abuse, or other unethical, coercive action)
Fraud that affected the details of the will
Forgery
Misrepresentation
Someone used undue influence to ensure that the terms of the will benefited them
The person who made the will can be proven to have been mentally ill, incapacitated, or otherwise lacked the capacity to make a will

You forgot about assumptions. There is an assumption that you would provide for your surviving spouse and children. If you want to disinherit them, you have to provide for that in the will. If you don’t, it is grounds for a contest.

OP, I’d ignore them. And only if you get served with a lawsuit or if you are really worried about it would I even bother to call a lawyer.

My God. Please cite the legal ground of assumptions.

Obviously you've never taken a wills and estates class. So, the short version is this. Most courts will assume that you forgot to mention your children if you don't make your intentions to disinherit them perfectly clear in your will. There are ways to do that. But simply not mentioning them will likely lead a court to assume that the deceased forgot and it will form the basis for overturning a will.

I'm a lawyer. "Assume" is not a legal term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know what advice to give, op. All I can say it to be gracious and polite and understanding. That might go a long way to create goodwill on the step FIL's bio kids.
I am not saying give them the money, but ask yourself how would you feel in their shoes. Their side of the story is likely very, very different from the version you got.
In any situation, I find that starting from a point of view that is generous, accepting and gracious, is the best course of action. That doesn't mean that they will act the same, but at the end of the day when you go to bed, what will make you sleep without any regrets?

Yes, but that only gets you so far given that we already know how they chose to act. If I were completely blindsided by being disinherited, I would be hurt, and angry at the person who disinherited me. (That's a big if, here, because at least on OP's understanding these kids knew they weren't close to the father -- they didn't send flowers or show up at his funeral!) So how would I respond in that situation? I might meditate, complain to my spouse, complain to my therapist, punch a pillow. What I would not do is harass the mother of the step-siblings who got a windfall. But that's what these crazies are doing to the poor OP.

I mean, seriously, if they showed up and physically assaulted OP, would we be saying, "put yourself in their shoes"?

+1. There are a ton of bizarrely angry, entitled people on this thread. I don't have the faintest idea how my parents, grandparents, or ILs plan to leave their money and I don't care. I won't care if I get nothing and I won't care if it all goes to someone else. In fact, I've told my parents to leave what they have (which isn't a huge estate by any means) to my sibling because they need it more. My plan has always been to take care of myself. There are literally zero circumstances under which I would be harassing my estranged father's widow and her kid because I was angry that my estranged father decided to leave his money to his grandkids. This behavior is trash and the fact that so many of you seem to sympathize with it is disturbing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd love to hear the legal grounds pps think this will can be contested?
Note, legal grounds does not include the hurt feelings of adult children:

The will failed to comply with the statutory requirements for it to be valid, often an issue where wills are handwritten (in whole or in part), unsigned, not witnessed or not notarized
Breach of fiduciary duty, for example where a power of attorney does something in their self-interest instead of in the interest of the person they are supposed to be serving
Duress (threat of violence, abuse, or other unethical, coercive action)
Fraud that affected the details of the will
Forgery
Misrepresentation
Someone used undue influence to ensure that the terms of the will benefited them
The person who made the will can be proven to have been mentally ill, incapacitated, or otherwise lacked the capacity to make a will

You forgot about assumptions. There is an assumption that you would provide for your surviving spouse and children. If you want to disinherit them, you have to provide for that in the will. If you don’t, it is grounds for a contest.

OP, I’d ignore them. And only if you get served with a lawsuit or if you are really worried about it would I even bother to call a lawyer.

My God. Please cite the legal ground of assumptions.

Obviously you've never taken a wills and estates class. So, the short version is this. Most courts will assume that you forgot to mention your children if you don't make your intentions to disinherit them perfectly clear in your will. There are ways to do that. But simply not mentioning them will likely lead a court to assume that the deceased forgot and it will form the basis for overturning a will.

I'm a lawyer. "Assume" is not a legal term.

There is enough there to file a complaint without risking sanction. That means there is enough to waste time and money if the grandkids are willing to pursue that route

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know what advice to give, op. All I can say it to be gracious and polite and understanding. That might go a long way to create goodwill on the step FIL's bio kids.
I am not saying give them the money, but ask yourself how would you feel in their shoes. Their side of the story is likely very, very different from the version you got.
In any situation, I find that starting from a point of view that is generous, accepting and gracious, is the best course of action. That doesn't mean that they will act the same, but at the end of the day when you go to bed, what will make you sleep without any regrets?

Yes, but that only gets you so far given that we already know how they chose to act. If I were completely blindsided by being disinherited, I would be hurt, and angry at the person who disinherited me. (That's a big if, here, because at least on OP's understanding these kids knew they weren't close to the father -- they didn't send flowers or show up at his funeral!) So how would I respond in that situation? I might meditate, complain to my spouse, complain to my therapist, punch a pillow. What I would not do is harass the mother of the step-siblings who got a windfall. But that's what these crazies are doing to the poor OP.

I mean, seriously, if they showed up and physically assaulted OP, would we be saying, "put yourself in their shoes"?

I did not read the whole thread, so obviously OP knows what she is dealing with. My advice was more in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd love to hear the legal grounds pps think this will can be contested?
Note, legal grounds does not include the hurt feelings of adult children:

The will failed to comply with the statutory requirements for it to be valid, often an issue where wills are handwritten (in whole or in part), unsigned, not witnessed or not notarized
Breach of fiduciary duty, for example where a power of attorney does something in their self-interest instead of in the interest of the person they are supposed to be serving
Duress (threat of violence, abuse, or other unethical, coercive action)
Fraud that affected the details of the will
Forgery
Misrepresentation
Someone used undue influence to ensure that the terms of the will benefited them
The person who made the will can be proven to have been mentally ill, incapacitated, or otherwise lacked the capacity to make a will

You forgot about assumptions. There is an assumption that you would provide for your surviving spouse and children. If you want to disinherit them, you have to provide for that in the will. If you don’t, it is grounds for a contest.

OP, I’d ignore them. And only if you get served with a lawsuit or if you are really worried about it would I even bother to call a lawyer.

My God. Please cite the legal ground of assumptions.

Obviously you've never taken a wills and estates class. So, the short version is this. Most courts will assume that you forgot to mention your children if you don't make your intentions to disinherit them perfectly clear in your will. There are ways to do that. But simply not mentioning them will likely lead a court to assume that the deceased forgot and it will form the basis for overturning a will.

I'm a lawyer. "Assume" is not a legal term.

There is enough there to file a complaint without risking sanction. That means there is enough to waste time and money if the grandkids are willing to pursue that route

Another lawyer here: everyone please stop giving legal advice and for heaven's sake don't rely on any legal advice you read on DCUM. We don't even know what jurisdiction they are in, and none of us appear to be T&E experts.

[Anonymous]

If he'd left half to your mom and half to charity, would you think they have a leg to stand on? NO. They just don't like where he decided to leave his money.

If he has a will, and it's done legally, I'd direct them to your lawyer, or whoever is executing the estate.

[Anonymous]

I agree with others that what the man did was crappy to his own children. However, OP's responsibility is to her own children. Also, the stepdad's children don't have any children of their own. Given ages involved here it is unlikely that they will have them, so who knows where the money will ultimately end up. I think stepdad maybe took that into consideration as well. I would be a little afraid of bad karma and try to do some good deeds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know what advice to give, op. All I can say it to be gracious and polite and understanding. That might go a long way to create goodwill on the step FIL's bio kids.
I am not saying give them the money, but ask yourself how would you feel in their shoes. Their side of the story is likely very, very different from the version you got.
In any situation, I find that starting from a point of view that is generous, accepting and gracious, is the best course of action. That doesn't mean that they will act the same, but at the end of the day when you go to bed, what will make you sleep without any regrets?

Yes, but that only gets you so far given that we already know how they chose to act. If I were completely blindsided by being disinherited, I would be hurt, and angry at the person who disinherited me. (That's a big if, here, because at least on OP's understanding these kids knew they weren't close to the father -- they didn't send flowers or show up at his funeral!) So how would I respond in that situation? I might meditate, complain to my spouse, complain to my therapist, punch a pillow. What I would not do is harass the mother of the step-siblings who got a windfall. But that's what these crazies are doing to the poor OP.

I mean, seriously, if they showed up and physically assaulted OP, would we be saying, "put yourself in their shoes"?

+1. There are a ton of bizarrely angry, entitled people on this thread. I don't have the faintest idea how my parents, grandparents, or ILs plan to leave their money and I don't care. I won't care if I get nothing and I won't care if it all goes to someone else. In fact, I've told my parents to leave what they have (which isn't a huge estate by any means) to my sibling because they need it more. My plan has always been to take care of myself. There are literally zero circumstances under which I would be harassing my estranged father's widow and her kid because I was angry that my estranged father decided to leave his money to his grandkids. This behavior is trash and the fact that so many of you seem to sympathize with it is disturbing.

OK, this is is bizarre on its own way. Or perhaps you have so much that you don't care.