Strange Inheritance Situation - Need Perspective

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I hope you can see your way to being a charitable and humane person. The rightful path is clear here, and only you can facilitate it.

It’s not OP’s money to be generous with. If I were OP I would 100% tell them to get lost.

I would not want to be a weapon in a dead man’s continuing war on his kids.

the war is over. dad directed the money as he wished.

Or as OP’s mother wished.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the stepfather appreciated and enjoyed his relationship with his step-grandchildren. It’s fine if he chose to help them have better lives by leaving them an inheritance. it was his money - he had no legal obligation to leave anything to anybody. I’d ignore the communications from the sons; if they were not in touch for 20 years would be difficult to establish some reason they legally were entitled. I think it’s telling you did not inherit money, same as his sons did not. He skipped that whole generation; but because of his relationship with the grands, wanted to reach out to them. Lovely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You "kind of" get their point of view OP, really? They were completely disinherited, and you have no real information about why or how the marriage ended. That's not to say you should reject the inheritance, but yeah, be prepared for alegal battle. And perhaps internalize that this man did something deliberately and extremely hurtful to his own children, perhaps with your mother's support. It's one thing to have a distant relationship; another thing to completely disiniherit your children in favor of step-grandchildren, when there's apparently plenty of money to go around. It's kind of bad karma.

If the kids did not see him for the last 20 yers, you still think they deserve something? Why?

This.

Agreed. But then I was raised to never expect an inheritance. My parents' money is theirs to do with as they please. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the stepfather appreciated and enjoyed his relationship with his step-grandchildren. It’s fine if he chose to help them have better lives by leaving them an inheritance. it was his money - he had no legal obligation to leave anything to anybody. I’d ignore the communications from the sons; if they were not in touch for 20 years would be difficult to establish some reason they legally were entitled. I think it’s telling you did not inherit money, same as his sons did not. He skipped that whole generation; but because of his relationship with the grands, wanted to reach out to them. Lovely.

Lovely?
He disinherited his own kids.
Perhaps your mom had something to do with this and is not as innocent as you like to think. He should have left something for his kids. It's his duty to provide for his offspring after death.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the stepfather appreciated and enjoyed his relationship with his step-grandchildren. It’s fine if he chose to help them have better lives by leaving them an inheritance. it was his money - he had no legal obligation to leave anything to anybody. I’d ignore the communications from the sons; if they were not in touch for 20 years would be difficult to establish some reason they legally were entitled. I think it’s telling you did not inherit money, same as his sons did not. He skipped that whole generation; but because of his relationship with the grands, wanted to reach out to them. Lovely.

Lovely?
He disinherited his own kids.
Perhaps your mom had something to do with this and is not as innocent as you like to think. He should have left something for his kids. It's his duty to provide for his offspring after death.

No it's not? Like the above poster, I was raised to never expect an inheritance. This whole thread is grubby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd love to hear the legal grounds pps think this will can be contested?
Note, legal grounds does not include the hurt feelings of adult children:

The will failed to comply with the statutory requirements for it to be valid, often an issue where wills are handwritten (in whole or in part), unsigned, not witnessed or not notarized
Breach of fiduciary duty, for example where a power of attorney does something in their self-interest instead of in the interest of the person they are supposed to be serving
Duress (threat of violence, abuse, or other unethical, coercive action)
Fraud that affected the details of the will
Forgery
Misrepresentation
Someone used undue influence to ensure that the terms of the will benefited them
The person who made the will can be proven to have been mentally ill, incapacitated, or otherwise lacked the capacity to make a will

You forgot about assumptions. There is an assumption that you would provide for your surviving spouse and children. If you want to disinherit them, you have to provide for that in the will. If you don’t, it is grounds for a contest.

OP, I’d ignore them. And only if you get served with a lawsuit or if you are really worried about it would I even bother to call a lawyer.

My God. Please cite the legal ground of assumptions.

Obviously you've never taken a wills and estates class. So, the short version is this. Most courts will assume that you forgot to mention your children if you don't make your intentions to disinherit them perfectly clear in your will. There are ways to do that. But simply not mentioning them will likely lead a court to assume that the deceased forgot and it will form the basis for overturning a will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the stepfather appreciated and enjoyed his relationship with his step-grandchildren. It’s fine if he chose to help them have better lives by leaving them an inheritance. it was his money - he had no legal obligation to leave anything to anybody. I’d ignore the communications from the sons; if they were not in touch for 20 years would be difficult to establish some reason they legally were entitled. I think it’s telling you did not inherit money, same as his sons did not. He skipped that whole generation; but because of his relationship with the grands, wanted to reach out to them. Lovely.

Lovely?
He disinherited his own kids.
Perhaps your mom had something to do with this and is not as innocent as you like to think. He should have left something for his kids. It's his duty to provide for his offspring after death.

Good thing my kids don't know this. They think that they are obligated to find jobs and support themselves once they become adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd love to hear the legal grounds pps think this will can be contested?
Note, legal grounds does not include the hurt feelings of adult children:

The will failed to comply with the statutory requirements for it to be valid, often an issue where wills are handwritten (in whole or in part), unsigned, not witnessed or not notarized
Breach of fiduciary duty, for example where a power of attorney does something in their self-interest instead of in the interest of the person they are supposed to be serving
Duress (threat of violence, abuse, or other unethical, coercive action)
Fraud that affected the details of the will
Forgery
Misrepresentation
Someone used undue influence to ensure that the terms of the will benefited them
The person who made the will can be proven to have been mentally ill, incapacitated, or otherwise lacked the capacity to make a will

You forgot about assumptions. There is an assumption that you would provide for your surviving spouse and children. If you want to disinherit them, you have to provide for that in the will. If you don’t, it is grounds for a contest.

OP, I’d ignore them. And only if you get served with a lawsuit or if you are really worried about it would I even bother to call a lawyer.

My God. Please cite the legal ground of assumptions.

Obviously you've never taken a wills and estates class. So, the short version is this. Most courts will assume that you forgot to mention your children if you don't make your intentions to disinherit them perfectly clear in your will. There are ways to do that. But simply not mentioning them will likely lead a court to assume that the deceased forgot and it will form the basis for overturning a will.

also, depending on when the will is dated, mental capacity or undue influence. It may get nowhere, but it will burn money, keep the estate open, and cause your mother grief. If my dad did this to me, I'd contest it simply as a final f*&k you too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd love to hear the legal grounds pps think this will can be contested?
Note, legal grounds does not include the hurt feelings of adult children:

The will failed to comply with the statutory requirements for it to be valid, often an issue where wills are handwritten (in whole or in part), unsigned, not witnessed or not notarized
Breach of fiduciary duty, for example where a power of attorney does something in their self-interest instead of in the interest of the person they are supposed to be serving
Duress (threat of violence, abuse, or other unethical, coercive action)
Fraud that affected the details of the will
Forgery
Misrepresentation
Someone used undue influence to ensure that the terms of the will benefited them
The person who made the will can be proven to have been mentally ill, incapacitated, or otherwise lacked the capacity to make a will

You forgot about assumptions. There is an assumption that you would provide for your surviving spouse and children. If you want to disinherit them, you have to provide for that in the will. If you don’t, it is grounds for a contest.

OP, I’d ignore them. And only if you get served with a lawsuit or if you are really worried about it would I even bother to call a lawyer.

My God. Please cite the legal ground of assumptions.

Obviously you've never taken a wills and estates class. So, the short version is this. Most courts will assume that you forgot to mention your children if you don't make your intentions to disinherit them perfectly clear in your will. There are ways to do that. But simply not mentioning them will likely lead a court to assume that the deceased forgot and it will form the basis for overturning a will.

also, depending on when the will is dated, mental capacity or undue influence. It may get nowhere, but it will burn money, keep the estate open, and cause your mother grief. If my dad did this to me, I'd contest it simply as a final f*&k you too

If your dad did it to you out of the blue, sure. But these adult "kids" know why they are not included. Have they no shame or decency?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd love to hear the legal grounds pps think this will can be contested?
Note, legal grounds does not include the hurt feelings of adult children:

The will failed to comply with the statutory requirements for it to be valid, often an issue where wills are handwritten (in whole or in part), unsigned, not witnessed or not notarized
Breach of fiduciary duty, for example where a power of attorney does something in their self-interest instead of in the interest of the person they are supposed to be serving
Duress (threat of violence, abuse, or other unethical, coercive action)
Fraud that affected the details of the will
Forgery
Misrepresentation
Someone used undue influence to ensure that the terms of the will benefited them
The person who made the will can be proven to have been mentally ill, incapacitated, or otherwise lacked the capacity to make a will

You forgot about assumptions. There is an assumption that you would provide for your surviving spouse and children. If you want to disinherit them, you have to provide for that in the will. If you don’t, it is grounds for a contest.

OP, I’d ignore them. And only if you get served with a lawsuit or if you are really worried about it would I even bother to call a lawyer.

My God. Please cite the legal ground of assumptions.

Obviously you've never taken a wills and estates class. So, the short version is this. Most courts will assume that you forgot to mention your children if you don't make your intentions to disinherit them perfectly clear in your will. There are ways to do that. But simply not mentioning them will likely lead a court to assume that the deceased forgot and it will form the basis for overturning a will.

also, depending on when the will is dated, mental capacity or undue influence. It may get nowhere, but it will burn money, keep the estate open, and cause your mother grief. If my dad did this to me, I'd contest it simply as a final f*&k you too

If your dad did it to you out of the blue, sure. But these adult "kids" know why they are not included. Have they no shame or decency?

Again, you don’t know the whole story here.

I would never disinherit my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd love to hear the legal grounds pps think this will can be contested?
Note, legal grounds does not include the hurt feelings of adult children:

The will failed to comply with the statutory requirements for it to be valid, often an issue where wills are handwritten (in whole or in part), unsigned, not witnessed or not notarized
Breach of fiduciary duty, for example where a power of attorney does something in their self-interest instead of in the interest of the person they are supposed to be serving
Duress (threat of violence, abuse, or other unethical, coercive action)
Fraud that affected the details of the will
Forgery
Misrepresentation
Someone used undue influence to ensure that the terms of the will benefited them
The person who made the will can be proven to have been mentally ill, incapacitated, or otherwise lacked the capacity to make a will

You forgot about assumptions. There is an assumption that you would provide for your surviving spouse and children. If you want to disinherit them, you have to provide for that in the will. If you don’t, it is grounds for a contest.

OP, I’d ignore them. And only if you get served with a lawsuit or if you are really worried about it would I even bother to call a lawyer.

My God. Please cite the legal ground of assumptions.

Obviously you've never taken a wills and estates class. So, the short version is this. Most courts will assume that you forgot to mention your children if you don't make your intentions to disinherit them perfectly clear in your will. There are ways to do that. But simply not mentioning them will likely lead a court to assume that the deceased forgot and it will form the basis for overturning a will.

also, depending on when the will is dated, mental capacity or undue influence. It may get nowhere, but it will burn money, keep the estate open, and cause your mother grief. If my dad did this to me, I'd contest it simply as a final f*&k you too

If your dad did it to you out of the blue, sure. But these adult "kids" know why they are not included. Have they no shame or decency?

If they hate their dad and still harbor bitterness, this is their last chance to get back at him.

[Anonymous]

They sound like assholes. No wonder they were disinherited.

That said, will contests can be very expensive. I would tell them that you are very sorry for their loss, and that this must be very painful for them. Tell them you don't know what to do, but you're going to talk to a lawyer. Wait and see if they hire a lawyer. I would offer to settle with them, if they hire a lawyer. Maybe half to your mom and his kids and your kids spilt the other half with them. It's all found money for your kids, anway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd love to hear the legal grounds pps think this will can be contested?
Note, legal grounds does not include the hurt feelings of adult children:

The will failed to comply with the statutory requirements for it to be valid, often an issue where wills are handwritten (in whole or in part), unsigned, not witnessed or not notarized
Breach of fiduciary duty, for example where a power of attorney does something in their self-interest instead of in the interest of the person they are supposed to be serving
Duress (threat of violence, abuse, or other unethical, coercive action)
Fraud that affected the details of the will
Forgery
Misrepresentation
Someone used undue influence to ensure that the terms of the will benefited them
The person who made the will can be proven to have been mentally ill, incapacitated, or otherwise lacked the capacity to make a will

You forgot about assumptions. There is an assumption that you would provide for your surviving spouse and children. If you want to disinherit them, you have to provide for that in the will. If you don’t, it is grounds for a contest.

OP, I’d ignore them. And only if you get served with a lawsuit or if you are really worried about it would I even bother to call a lawyer.

My God. Please cite the legal ground of assumptions.

Obviously you've never taken a wills and estates class. So, the short version is this. Most courts will assume that you forgot to mention your children if you don't make your intentions to disinherit them perfectly clear in your will. There are ways to do that. But simply not mentioning them will likely lead a court to assume that the deceased forgot and it will form the basis for overturning a will.

Yeah, like my relative who named the kids from his first marriage and gave them $1, to show that it's not that he forgot them, he just didn't want to give them money. (I know there are valid legal reasons to do this, and I know he wanted to make sure his second wife was taken care of, but that stung.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I hope you can see your way to being a charitable and humane person. The rightful path is clear here, and only you can facilitate it.

It’s not OP’s money to be generous with. If I were OP I would 100% tell them to get lost.

I would not want to be a weapon in a dead man’s continuing war on his kids.

This. I would give them their part unless they were evil or criminals or something.

What constitutes "their part"? And please explain how the OP would give them their "part" when it's not her money to give?

+1. How much of the money that OP's children have inherited through a legal trust from their apparently loving grandfather should she drain to send to the strangers who have been writing her nasty emails? How much of her own money would you like her to put into hiring a lawyer to break the trust to accomplish this in contravention of the grantor's intent? Or perhaps you are suggesting that the decedent's grieving widow should give up the money that she inherited from her husband of 20 years?

This, exactly. And if these people wanted nothing to do with their dad for the last 20 years, why do they get to show up with their hands outstretched now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They sound like assholes. No wonder they were disinherited.

That said, will contests can be very expensive. I would tell them that you are very sorry for their loss, and that this must be very painful for them. Tell them you don't know what to do, but you're going to talk to a lawyer. Wait and see if they hire a lawyer. I would offer to settle with them, if they hire a lawyer. Maybe half to your mom and his kids and your kids spilt the other half with them. It's all found money for your kids, anway.

I'm not sure why this is so hard to understand, but the OP has no legal right to give her kids' money away. It does not belong to her. It is in a trust. The kids don't even have access to it until they are 21. If the OP's mom wants to give them some of her money, that's her business, but it has nothing to do with the OP.