Strange Inheritance Situation - Need Perspective

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I hope you can see your way to being a charitable and humane person. The rightful path is clear here, and only you can facilitate it.

It’s not OP’s money to be generous with. If I were OP I would 100% tell them to get lost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I hope you can see your way to being a charitable and humane person. The rightful path is clear here, and only you can facilitate it.

It’s not OP’s money to be generous with. If I were OP I would 100% tell them to get lost.

I would not want to be a weapon in a dead man’s continuing war on his kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You "kind of" get their point of view OP, really? They were completely disinherited, and you have no real information about why or how the marriage ended. That's not to say you should reject the inheritance, but yeah, be prepared for alegal battle. And perhaps internalize that this man did something deliberately and extremely hurtful to his own children, perhaps with your mother's support. It's one thing to have a distant relationship; another thing to completely disiniherit your children in favor of step-grandchildren, when there's apparently plenty of money to go around. It's kind of bad karma.

In what way would OP giving these kids money (which I don’t think she can even do, at least not the part that belongs to her kids) undo the hurt their dad obviously purposefully inflicted upon them? Money doesn’t fix that. That ship has sailed. And it’s not OP’s mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you want them to get lost?!?!? Are they bad people? Criminals? It’s terrible that he disinherited his kids, OP. I would share.

It's not OP's money to share.

[Anonymous]

OP didn’t get any of this money. She can’t take anything away from her kids (like, legally can’t) and her mom is the surviving spouse. This is between those kids and their dad. They need to send their angry emails to the beyond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I hope you can see your way to being a charitable and humane person. The rightful path is clear here, and only you can facilitate it.

It’s not OP’s money to be generous with. If I were OP I would 100% tell them to get lost.

I would not want to be a weapon in a dead man’s continuing war on his kids.

the war is over. dad directed the money as he wished.

[Anonymous]

You don't need to feel badly. They made their choices and are now sorry about it. Adult relationships are complicated and adult children should understand this. I would not take their calls and I would not tell your children then needed to split anything. You can't change your Stepdad's wishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't need to feel badly. They made their choices and are now sorry about it. Adult relationships are complicated and adult children should understand this. I would not take their calls and I would not tell your children then needed to split anything. You can't change your Stepdad's wishes.

this plus consult an attorney before you do anything with the kids funds in case they can legally contest it. It has nothing to do with you. You have no skin in the game, you don't know any of the background. Your step dad was as adult who made his choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP didn’t get any of this money. She can’t take anything away from her kids (like, legally can’t) and her mom is the surviving spouse. This is between those kids and their dad. They need to send their angry emails to the beyond.

+1. The money is in trust for her kids. OP doesn't control it and doesn't have the any legal or moral duty to try to change these legal arrangements to the detriment of her kids. The rest of it went to his wife of 20 years, which is entirely appropriate.

[Anonymous]

OP, what does your husband think about the situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d feel guilty profiting from this messy situation. Nothing good can come from this. Yes, his will, his money blabla but it’s still not right.
I’d try to find an equitable way of splitting the inheritance.

Presumably the deceased -- who, unlike OP, knew all of the various characters involved, from his kids, to his second wife, to his stepkids -- was in the best position to judge what he deemed "equitable."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You "kind of" get their point of view OP, really? They were completely disinherited, and you have no real information about why or how the marriage ended. That's not to say you should reject the inheritance, but yeah, be prepared for alegal battle. And perhaps internalize that this man did something deliberately and extremely hurtful to his own children, perhaps with your mother's support. It's one thing to have a distant relationship; another thing to completely disiniherit your children in favor of step-grandchildren, when there's apparently plenty of money to go around. It's kind of bad karma.

If the kids did not see him for the last 20 yers, you still think they deserve something? Why?

I doubt the truth of that narrative, and also the reasons behind if it's true. A complete disinheriting is meant to hurt your children as your dying act -- short of something really, really terrible, why would you do that? Not saying that this changes anything about the will, but yes, OP should be a tiny bit more empathetic.

DP. Your position is inconsistent - you think people should put their kids first when it comes to inheritance issues, but you apparently think the OP (who has herself inherited nothing) should act against her own kids' interests to the benefit of these strangers who are writing her rude emails and with whom she has no relationship even though she was close to their father.

No, I didn't say that. But she asked for "perspective" and seems to not understand why the kids would be upset. So that's the perspective - her kids are the beneficiaries of a person's really hurtful move towards his biological children.

[Anonymous]

Don't we tell people not to count other people's money on here? These grown children are counting someone else's money. What if he left $0 to everyone? Or debt?

[Anonymous]

With a living spouse, it’s unlikely they have any valid claim to the assets at all. It’s worth talking to a lawyer, but I don’t see this going anywhere. I mean, theoretically your mom could leave them some money from her share of the trust when she passes away, depending on how the trust is written. Perhaps that would ameliorate the situation a bit, but that would be up to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You "kind of" get their point of view OP, really? They were completely disinherited, and you have no real information about why or how the marriage ended. That's not to say you should reject the inheritance, but yeah, be prepared for alegal battle. And perhaps internalize that this man did something deliberately and extremely hurtful to his own children, perhaps with your mother's support. It's one thing to have a distant relationship; another thing to completely disiniherit your children in favor of step-grandchildren, when there's apparently plenty of money to go around. It's kind of bad karma.

If the kids did not see him for the last 20 yers, you still think they deserve something? Why?

NP
He left them (their mom and them) for another woman/family.

This is OP. FWIW, he did not. He and my mom met nearly a decade after the divorce.