Strange Inheritance Situation - Need Perspective

[Anonymous]

I think it's terrible that they are abusing you over this. It wasn't your choice and they had no right to expect anything from the parent with whom they chose not to have a relationship. The fact that they would go out of their way to attack you when you had nothing to do with their father's testamentary choices makes me unsympathetic to them and not particularly surprised that they were disinherited in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You "kind of" get their point of view OP, really? They were completely disinherited, and you have no real information about why or how the marriage ended. That's not to say you should reject the inheritance, but yeah, be prepared for alegal battle. And perhaps internalize that this man did something deliberately and extremely hurtful to his own children, perhaps with your mother's support. It's one thing to have a distant relationship; another thing to completely disiniherit your children in favor of step-grandchildren, when there's apparently plenty of money to go around. It's kind of bad karma.

If the kids did not see him for the last 20 yers, you still think they deserve something? Why?

NP. It is the dad’s story they didn’t want to see him. We honestly don’t know that is the objective truth. I know that some of my siblings have made no effort to see my father, others have been rebuffed by him, and still others (including myself) are periodically just repelled by his actions and words. Right now, all my dad wants to do is to talk bad about his exes. It helps if his kids aren’t around to contradict his version.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You "kind of" get their point of view OP, really? They were completely disinherited, and you have no real information about why or how the marriage ended. That's not to say you should reject the inheritance, but yeah, be prepared for alegal battle. And perhaps internalize that this man did something deliberately and extremely hurtful to his own children, perhaps with your mother's support. It's one thing to have a distant relationship; another thing to completely disiniherit your children in favor of step-grandchildren, when there's apparently plenty of money to go around. It's kind of bad karma.

I think what the step dad did is kind of rotten, but it wasn’t OP’s choice. It’s kind of a tricky situation for OP. She didn’t choose this-it just happened to her.

That being said, I would never disinherit my children, no matter what they did to me.

Really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You "kind of" get their point of view OP, really? They were completely disinherited, and you have no real information about why or how the marriage ended. That's not to say you should reject the inheritance, but yeah, be prepared for alegal battle. And perhaps internalize that this man did something deliberately and extremely hurtful to his own children, perhaps with your mother's support. It's one thing to have a distant relationship; another thing to completely disiniherit your children in favor of step-grandchildren, when there's apparently plenty of money to go around. It's kind of bad karma.

I think what the step dad did is kind of rotten, but it wasn’t OP’s choice. It’s kind of a tricky situation for OP. She didn’t choose this-it just happened to her.

That being said, I would never disinherit my children, no matter what they did to me.

Really?

Yes, really. It’s my job to love them, not their job to do anything for me.

[Anonymous]

I'd contest that will too. The 3 kids should have been equal inheritors and you could leave yours to the kids. Or at least his kids should have been equal to yours. He was a bad dad to them and owes them

[Anonymous]

I would ignore their calls/emails. If they indicate they are pursuing legal action probably worth it to contact a lawyer of your own and find out what this process usually look like, but I wouldn't assume they will go down that road (it seems to me that it is likely to be expensive and ineffective for them.) I"m sorry, it sounds like a messy situation that really has nothing to do with you. I disagree with the the "come to an equitable agreement on your own" advice and pay them off. These were HIS wishes with HIS money. If his first family was horrible to him and he didn't want to leave them anything that is entirely his right and it would seem disrespectful, after death, to use his money for something he clearly decided not to do.

[Anonymous]

OP it is his money to do with as he wishes.

No need to take their calls, Lawyer only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You "kind of" get their point of view OP, really? They were completely disinherited, and you have no real information about why or how the marriage ended. That's not to say you should reject the inheritance, but yeah, be prepared for alegal battle. And perhaps internalize that this man did something deliberately and extremely hurtful to his own children, perhaps with your mother's support. It's one thing to have a distant relationship; another thing to completely disiniherit your children in favor of step-grandchildren, when there's apparently plenty of money to go around. It's kind of bad karma.

If the kids did not see him for the last 20 yers, you still think they deserve something? Why?

I doubt the truth of that narrative, and also the reasons behind if it's true. A complete disinheriting is meant to hurt your children as your dying act -- short of something really, really terrible, why would you do that? Not saying that this changes anything about the will, but yes, OP should be a tiny bit more empathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You "kind of" get their point of view OP, really? They were completely disinherited, and you have no real information about why or how the marriage ended. That's not to say you should reject the inheritance, but yeah, be prepared for alegal battle. And perhaps internalize that this man did something deliberately and extremely hurtful to his own children, perhaps with your mother's support. It's one thing to have a distant relationship; another thing to completely disiniherit your children in favor of step-grandchildren, when there's apparently plenty of money to go around. It's kind of bad karma.

If the kids did not see him for the last 20 yers, you still think they deserve something? Why?

I doubt the truth of that narrative, and also the reasons behind if it's true. A complete disinheriting is meant to hurt your children as your dying act -- short of something really, really terrible, why would you do that? Not saying that this changes anything about the will, but yes, OP should be a tiny bit more empathetic.

DP. Your position is inconsistent - you think people should put their kids first when it comes to inheritance issues, but you apparently think the OP (who has herself inherited nothing) should act against her own kids' interests to the benefit of these strangers who are writing her rude emails and with whom she has no relationship even though she was close to their father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was raised by a single mom. She got married when I was in my late twenties and already married. My relationship with her husband was cordial but not close. However, our two teenage DCs spent a lot of time with my mom and her husband (they live a few states away). Her husband recently passed away. He had two adult children about my age, no grandchildren. I met one of them once and never met the other. He divorced their mother when the younger one finished high school. I never knew the story of the divorce, only heard snippets from my mom (who always acknowledged she only knew one side of the story) - that he was the sole provider pretty much the whole time, that his wife did not treat him well, that he stayed for the sake of the kids but that when he finally left the kids took their mother's side and basically wanted nothing to do with him after the divorce. All I can say is that for over 20 years he and my mom were together they were happy and he treated her very well.

Anyway, I have just found out that he left half his money to my mom and half of it in trust to my kids (high six figures each). We are not poor, but this would certainly give my kids a better start in life and more choices. I have been getting lots of angry calls and emails from his kids. I kind of get their point of view but I want to get them to get lost. Should I?

I would ignore any communication from his kids and tell your own children to do the same. Hopefully your mother will also do this. Absolutely no good can come of speaking with the deceased's children.

It might be worth it to consult with the attorney who handled the will/trust (as a representative of your children) to determine how likely it is that there would be a will contest and how likely that it could succeed. But I would not get too worked up over it.

[Anonymous]

I'd love to hear the legal grounds pps think this will can be contested?
Note, legal grounds does not include the hurt feelings of adult children:

The will failed to comply with the statutory requirements for it to be valid, often an issue where wills are handwritten (in whole or in part), unsigned, not witnessed or not notarized
Breach of fiduciary duty, for example where a power of attorney does something in their self-interest instead of in the interest of the person they are supposed to be serving
Duress (threat of violence, abuse, or other unethical, coercive action)
Fraud that affected the details of the will
Forgery
Misrepresentation
Someone used undue influence to ensure that the terms of the will benefited them
The person who made the will can be proven to have been mentally ill, incapacitated, or otherwise lacked the capacity to make a will

[Anonymous]

I’m curious did his kids come to his funeral?

[Anonymous]

OP, do not respond to them. The last thing you want is that if this goes to some kind of litigation with them contesting the will, your words to be used against you. (It's like a Miranda warning -- anything you say WILL be used against you. If you even say you're sorry and you "understand" their frustration, that will be twisted into you "admitting" that they are in the right.)

You don't need to lawyer up until they indicate they are pursuing legal action, unless it's going to make you feel better to talk to a lawyer to advise you about the various scenarios.

I really don't understand the PPs who think it's somehow obvious that you need to cut this man's kids in. You don't know them and it was his money. And the fact that they are harassing YOU over it certainly doesn't paint them in a positive light. Besides, his disinheriting them was itself a big middle finger to them. It's not like they'll forgive it if you give them money. So it sounds like a pure shakedown, and unless you encouraged your stepdad to disinherit, you have nothing to be ashamed about.

[Anonymous]

I’d feel guilty profiting from this messy situation. Nothing good can come from this. Yes, his will, his money blabla but it’s still not right.
I’d try to find an equitable way of splitting the inheritance.

[Anonymous]

Definitely don’t respond to them. Honestly this isn’t your business, it was between your FIL and his kids. You might see if a lawyer could draft something to them asking them not to contact you and to contact the executor or courts or whoever is the appropriate official party.