If you’re a SAHM, how do you value your work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Poverty is not a desirable state of being. Living in poverty is worse for children than having a WOHM raising them.

If the WOHMs are helping out food on the table then their contribution is to be admired.

I think it’s better for children to have a WOHM raise them, period. Teaches them to be flexible, help with chores, etc. Children of SAHM, especially boys, are generally useless.

Sure. You should delegate chores and responsibilities to children in an age appropriate manner. Unfortunately WOHMs usually are not doing delegation of duty but dereliction of duty.

No wonder the pandemic has whooped their butts👍👍

And the biggest asshole of the day award goes to....the SAHM!

Takes one to know one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the most impt part is the sahm valuing herself. Doesnt matter how anyone else values her. If shes doesnt value herself and how shes spending her time, then thats where the problem lies. Ive been a sahm, I lost myself, lost confidence in my self worth, lost my identity, etc, and just as I started picking up the pieces, Covid hit. Its hard not to get lost in the day to day grind of it all and I wish I had prioritized my own self care as much as I prioritized all the kid stuff.

OP here. I get what you’re saying but the funny thing is, I actually really enjoy just about every aspect of it. I love my day to day. It’s just that I know I could easily hire someone else to do it and that I’m not contributing to society like working people are.

I think we have to be ok with difference. It’s counterproductive to try to pretend everyone is equal when experience tells us we’re not. I know being a SAHM is not as important to society as a loooong list of occupations but I choose it anyway. It’s ok. We don’t have to be the same.

This is a messed up way to view the world.

Do you really think every secretary scheduling meetings is making major contributions to society? Do you think every lawyer looking for loopholes to avoid environmental regulation is improving society? Do you think every investment banker is improving society? Come on. I’m not disparaging paid work — we all need to eat — but only a very, very small percentage of working people are actually contributing to society—and many more are leaving the world a worst place than they found it.

So are many SAHMs...

[Anonymous]

I fully respect SAHMs who stay home for the early years and then go back to work (or meaningful charity work) to be a good role model. The ones who are home all day while their kids are in school are kinda useless. Really, how many Target and grocery runs do you need to make in a week? Be an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I fully respect SAHMs who stay home for the early years and then go back to work (or meaningful charity work) to be a good role model. The ones who are home all day while their kids are in school are kinda useless. Really, how many Target and grocery runs do you need to make in a week? Be an adult.

That’s right sister! Keep working for the man! Help that corporation pad their bottom line! Family is for useless losers!! #feminism

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Family life
DH's success
Kids mental and physical health
Kids success
Elder Care and longetivity
Success of relatives and their children

I thiink the value is hard to quantify because there are so many things you do to make sure that the lives of your family and relatives is not derailed, and as an extended family, everyone remains successful and happy.

Ok...so being a SAHM has nothing to do with YOU?

It's sad, really sad, that you list your husband's success but say nothing about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Family life
DH's success
Kids mental and physical health
Kids success
Elder Care and longetivity
Success of relatives and their children

I thiink the value is hard to quantify because there are so many things you do to make sure that the lives of your family and relatives is not derailed, and as an extended family, everyone remains successful and happy.

I love how moms are responsible for everyone else's success and happiness. Where in this list is the item for mom's individual success and happiness apart from defining it through the success and happiness of others?

This is why our society is so messed up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I fully respect SAHMs who stay home for the early years and then go back to work (or meaningful charity work) to be a good role model. The ones who are home all day while their kids are in school are kinda useless. Really, how many Target and grocery runs do you need to make in a week? Be an adult.

That’s right sister! Keep working for the man! Help that corporation pad their bottom line! Family is for useless losers!! #feminism

Both of you are a**hats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Poverty is not a desirable state of being. Living in poverty is worse for children than having a WOHM raising them.

If the WOHMs are helping out food on the table then their contribution is to be admired.

I think it’s better for children to have a WOHM raise them, period. Teaches them to be flexible, help with chores, etc. Children of SAHM, especially boys, are generally useless.

Sure. You should delegate chores and responsibilities to children in an age appropriate manner. Unfortunately WOHMs usually are not doing delegation of duty but dereliction of duty.

No wonder the pandemic has whooped their butts👍👍

And the biggest asshole of the day award goes to....the SAHM!

Takes one to know one!

Pee Wee Herman has found the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I fully respect SAHMs who stay home for the early years and then go back to work (or meaningful charity work) to be a good role model. The ones who are home all day while their kids are in school are kinda useless. Really, how many Target and grocery runs do you need to make in a week? Be an adult.

That’s right sister! Keep working for the man! Help that corporation pad their bottom line! Family is for useless losers!! #feminism

I included meaningful charity work. (And no, occasional PTA meetings so you can gossip with your biddies does not count)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I fully respect SAHMs who stay home for the early years and then go back to work (or meaningful charity work) to be a good role model. The ones who are home all day while their kids are in school are kinda useless. Really, how many Target and grocery runs do you need to make in a week? Be an adult.

That’s right sister! Keep working for the man! Help that corporation pad their bottom line! Family is for useless losers!! #feminism

Both of you are a**hats.

Excellent contribution, ma’am. Never quit your job. Society simply couldn’t continue without the valuable insights I’m sure you provide every day...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I fully respect SAHMs who stay home for the early years and then go back to work (or meaningful charity work) to be a good role model. The ones who are home all day while their kids are in school are kinda useless. Really, how many Target and grocery runs do you need to make in a week? Be an adult.

That’s right sister! Keep working for the man! Help that corporation pad their bottom line! Family is for useless losers!! #feminism

I included meaningful charity work. (And no, occasional PTA meetings so you can gossip with your biddies does not count)

Meaningful charity work = working for free
No thanks, sister! If I want to work for anyone other than myself and my family’s benefit, I am sure as hell going to be paid for it. SAHMs don’t owe “society“ their unpaid labor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I fully respect SAHMs who stay home for the early years and then go back to work (or meaningful charity work) to be a good role model. The ones who are home all day while their kids are in school are kinda useless. Really, how many Target and grocery runs do you need to make in a week? Be an adult.

That’s right sister! Keep working for the man! Help that corporation pad their bottom line! Family is for useless losers!! #feminism

Both of you are a**hats.

Excellent contribution, ma’am. Never quit your job. Society simply couldn’t continue without the valuable insights I’m sure you provide every day...

It's great that you recognize my infinite wisdom!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is partly why I’d never quit my job even though I’d love to be a SAHM.

WOMEN are so harsh and judgmental about it. It’s really just women too, I don’t think men have these types of thoughts.

It’s a shame that moms can’t just support each other. We’re all working, one way or another.

+1

Men don't care because they're not expected to do it all. The women who are engaging in these mommy war debates have deeply internalized misogyny which they choose to inflict on other women. Why not use that anger to fight for things like paid maternity leave, universal preschool, and social security benefits for full time caregivers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the most impt part is the sahm valuing herself. Doesnt matter how anyone else values her. If shes doesnt value herself and how shes spending her time, then thats where the problem lies. Ive been a sahm, I lost myself, lost confidence in my self worth, lost my identity, etc, and just as I started picking up the pieces, Covid hit. Its hard not to get lost in the day to day grind of it all and I wish I had prioritized my own self care as much as I prioritized all the kid stuff.

OP here. I get what you’re saying but the funny thing is, I actually really enjoy just about every aspect of it. I love my day to day. It’s just that I know I could easily hire someone else to do it and that I’m not contributing to society like working people are.

I think we have to be ok with difference. It’s counterproductive to try to pretend everyone is equal when experience tells us we’re not. I know being a SAHM is not as important to society as a loooong list of occupations but I choose it anyway. It’s ok. We don’t have to be the same.

I’m a SAHM too. I don’t think we can easily hire someone to do what I do. Cook, clean, childcare, driving, choosing enriching activities for the kids suited to their abilities and interests... this is at least a housekeeper, nanny, and maybe more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the most impt part is the sahm valuing herself. Doesnt matter how anyone else values her. If shes doesnt value herself and how shes spending her time, then thats where the problem lies. Ive been a sahm, I lost myself, lost confidence in my self worth, lost my identity, etc, and just as I started picking up the pieces, Covid hit. Its hard not to get lost in the day to day grind of it all and I wish I had prioritized my own self care as much as I prioritized all the kid stuff.

OP here. I get what you’re saying but the funny thing is, I actually really enjoy just about every aspect of it. I love my day to day. It’s just that I know I could easily hire someone else to do it and that I’m not contributing to society like working people are.

I think we have to be ok with difference. It’s counterproductive to try to pretend everyone is equal when experience tells us we’re not. I know being a SAHM is not as important to society as a loooong list of occupations but I choose it anyway. It’s ok. We don’t have to be the same.

If you hired someone else to do the work you do, they would be "working people". Are you saying that their work wouldn't contribute to society? Or that the act of exchanging money turns something that isn't contributing to society into something that does?