Why do men assume their wife will become a SAHM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not a knock on moms that choose to stay home of their own volition.

I'm talking about guys who marry a woman with a career. Guys that get with awoman knowing her career is important to her, that she spent years getting into her position, same as he did, that just assume she'll stay home because he doesn't like daycare or his mom stayed home, and his brother's wife stays home, or because he makes money?


Why is it overwhelmingly the woman who is expected to sacrifice her career ,even if it's not what she wants.


To be fair, I now one dad who altered his career to stay home when his kids were small instead of ecpexting his wife, too, but why is this so rare?

As long as SO many women model this "lifestyle" for future generations, it will be hard to change.

There are so many wealthy women on this forum who won't OWN this part of the legacy they are leaving.

It is one thing before your kids start school. It is quite another when your kids are in middle school and high school.
Why is it okay that someone pays for your food and housing, like they do for their children?

The height of irony are the stay at home moms who complain that their husbands don't do enough around the house. How much do you do around his office?

This is coming from a woman, who works outside the home and is a good mom also.

Thanks for doing your part in shaming sahm’s and continuing the mommy wars! Most well adjusted, married humans consider any income earned by either parent as jointly owned, so no, the husband is not “paying” for his very own sahm. Household chores and kids’ stuff are mostly handled by sahm. They don’t just disappear bc the kids are in middle or high school. I doubt your shitty office job is so much more super special or important than housework. Same goes for your husband too. Your retrograde views are disgusting and I’m positive you’re not a good mom bc you’re a judgey bitch.

You are no better PP . You could have ignored this response and answered the actual question of the thread, but instead you chose to engage in drama and further the wars.

No idiot, I have no obligation to sit silently and ignore someone who insults an entire group of women. If my reply is too dramatic for you, why don’t you take your own advice, stop engaging, and mind your own business?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not a knock on moms that choose to stay home of their own volition.

I'm talking about guys who marry a woman with a career. Guys that get with awoman knowing her career is important to her, that she spent years getting into her position, same as he did, that just assume she'll stay home because he doesn't like daycare or his mom stayed home, and his brother's wife stays home, or because he makes money?


Why is it overwhelmingly the woman who is expected to sacrifice her career ,even if it's not what she wants.


To be fair, I now one dad who altered his career to stay home when his kids were small instead of ecpexting his wife, too, but why is this so rare?

As long as SO many women model this "lifestyle" for future generations, it will be hard to change.

There are so many wealthy women on this forum who won't OWN this part of the legacy they are leaving.

It is one thing before your kids start school. It is quite another when your kids are in middle school and high school.
Why is it okay that someone pays for your food and housing, like they do for their children?

The height of irony are the stay at home moms who complain that their husbands don't do enough around the house. How much do you do around his office?

This is coming from a woman, who works outside the home and is a good mom also.

Thanks for doing your part in shaming sahm’s and continuing the mommy wars! Most well adjusted, married humans consider any income earned by either parent as jointly owned, so no, the husband is not “paying” for his very own sahm. Household chores and kids’ stuff are mostly handled by sahm. They don’t just disappear bc the kids are in middle or high school. I doubt your shitty office job is so much more super special or important than housework. Same goes for your husband too. Your retrograde views are disgusting and I’m positive you’re not a good mom bc you’re a judgey bitch.

You are no better PP . You could have ignored this response and answered the actual question of the thread, but instead you chose to engage in drama and further the wars.

No idiot, I have no obligation to sit silently and ignore someone who insults an entire group of women. If my reply is too dramatic for you, why don’t you take your own advice, stop engaging, and mind your own business?

This is my thread for one thing. And I have actively tried to keep the topic away from the mommy wars, and on the subject, I asked about. If you want people to be respected, I suggest you first learn to act respectfully, which includes not lashing out and namecalling.

Now if you have an answer to the actual question, please share it, but if you want to contiue mommy wars please leave and start your own thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not a knock on moms that choose to stay home of their own volition.

I'm talking about guys who marry a woman with a career. Guys that get with awoman knowing her career is important to her, that she spent years getting into her position, same as he did, that just assume she'll stay home because he doesn't like daycare or his mom stayed home, and his brother's wife stays home, or because he makes money?


Why is it overwhelmingly the woman who is expected to sacrifice her career ,even if it's not what she wants.


To be fair, I now one dad who altered his career to stay home when his kids were small instead of ecpexting his wife, too, but why is this so rare?

As long as SO many women model this "lifestyle" for future generations, it will be hard to change.

There are so many wealthy women on this forum who won't OWN this part of the legacy they are leaving.

It is one thing before your kids start school. It is quite another when your kids are in middle school and high school.
Why is it okay that someone pays for your food and housing, like they do for their children?

The height of irony are the stay at home moms who complain that their husbands don't do enough around the house. How much do you do around his office?

This is coming from a woman, who works outside the home and is a good mom also.

Thanks for doing your part in shaming sahm’s and continuing the mommy wars! Most well adjusted, married humans consider any income earned by either parent as jointly owned, so no, the husband is not “paying” for his very own sahm. Household chores and kids’ stuff are mostly handled by sahm. They don’t just disappear bc the kids are in middle or high school. I doubt your shitty office job is so much more super special or important than housework. Same goes for your husband too. Your retrograde views are disgusting and I’m positive you’re not a good mom bc you’re a judgey bitch.

You are no better PP . You could have ignored this response and answered the actual question of the thread, but instead you chose to engage in drama and further the wars.

No idiot, I have no obligation to sit silently and ignore someone who insults an entire group of women. If my reply is too dramatic for you, why don’t you take your own advice, stop engaging, and mind your own business?

You are very defensive, which suggest you realize the PP who set you off said something that hit home for YOU. She spoke specifically about wealthy housewives complaining about their husbands. If you stay at home, the home is your job. Isn't that what SAHMs fight to be recognized for? That they are doing worthwhile work of child raising and taking care of the home, ie., cleaning, cooking, etc.? What exactly is your beef with what the PP said? How is she shaming all SAHMs? She's not. You are the nasty one who completely flew off the handle and started the name calling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not a knock on moms that choose to stay home of their own volition.

I'm talking about guys who marry a woman with a career. Guys that get with awoman knowing her career is important to her, that she spent years getting into her position, same as he did, that just assume she'll stay home because he doesn't like daycare or his mom stayed home, and his brother's wife stays home, or because he makes money?


Why is it overwhelmingly the woman who is expected to sacrifice her career ,even if it's not what she wants.


To be fair, I now one dad who altered his career to stay home when his kids were small instead of ecpexting his wife, too, but why is this so rare?

As long as SO many women model this "lifestyle" for future generations, it will be hard to change.

There are so many wealthy women on this forum who won't OWN this part of the legacy they are leaving.

It is one thing before your kids start school. It is quite another when your kids are in middle school and high school.
Why is it okay that someone pays for your food and housing, like they do for their children?

The height of irony are the stay at home moms who complain that their husbands don't do enough around the house. How much do you do around his office?

This is coming from a woman, who works outside the home and is a good mom also.

Thanks for doing your part in shaming sahm’s and continuing the mommy wars! Most well adjusted, married humans consider any income earned by either parent as jointly owned, so no, the husband is not “paying” for his very own sahm. Household chores and kids’ stuff are mostly handled by sahm. They don’t just disappear bc the kids are in middle or high school. I doubt your shitty office job is so much more super special or important than housework. Same goes for your husband too. Your retrograde views are disgusting and I’m positive you’re not a good mom bc you’re a judgey bitch.

You are no better PP . You could have ignored this response and answered the actual question of the thread, but instead you chose to engage in drama and further the wars.

No idiot, I have no obligation to sit silently and ignore someone who insults an entire group of women. If my reply is too dramatic for you, why don’t you take your own advice, stop engaging, and mind your own business?

You are very defensive, which suggest you realize the PP who set you off said something that hit home for YOU. She spoke specifically about wealthy housewives complaining about their husbands. If you stay at home, the home is your job. Isn't that what SAHMs fight to be recognized for? That they are doing worthwhile work of child raising and taking care of the home, ie., cleaning, cooking, etc.? What exactly is your beef with what the PP said? How is she shaming all SAHMs? She's not. You are the nasty one who completely flew off the handle and started the name calling.

OP here pp was patronizing, and her comment was meant to antagonize and instigate mommy wars. This thread is not supposed to be mommy wars. SO I'd like to try to get back on topic. If people don't want to do that I'll just ask Jeff to delete, because I'm not interested in bashing women for working or staying home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not a knock on moms that choose to stay home of their own volition.

I'm talking about guys who marry a woman with a career. Guys that get with awoman knowing her career is important to her, that she spent years getting into her position, same as he did, that just assume she'll stay home because he doesn't like daycare or his mom stayed home, and his brother's wife stays home, or because he makes money?


Why is it overwhelmingly the woman who is expected to sacrifice her career ,even if it's not what she wants.


To be fair, I now one dad who altered his career to stay home when his kids were small instead of ecpexting his wife, too, but why is this so rare?

As long as SO many women model this "lifestyle" for future generations, it will be hard to change.

There are so many wealthy women on this forum who won't OWN this part of the legacy they are leaving.

It is one thing before your kids start school. It is quite another when your kids are in middle school and high school.
Why is it okay that someone pays for your food and housing, like they do for their children?

The height of irony are the stay at home moms who complain that their husbands don't do enough around the house. How much do you do around his office?

This is coming from a woman, who works outside the home and is a good mom also.

Thanks for doing your part in shaming sahm’s and continuing the mommy wars! Most well adjusted, married humans consider any income earned by either parent as jointly owned, so no, the husband is not “paying” for his very own sahm. Household chores and kids’ stuff are mostly handled by sahm. They don’t just disappear bc the kids are in middle or high school. I doubt your shitty office job is so much more super special or important than housework. Same goes for your husband too. Your retrograde views are disgusting and I’m positive you’re not a good mom bc you’re a judgey bitch.

You are no better PP . You could have ignored this response and answered the actual question of the thread, but instead you chose to engage in drama and further the wars.

No idiot, I have no obligation to sit silently and ignore someone who insults an entire group of women. If my reply is too dramatic for you, why don’t you take your own advice, stop engaging, and mind your own business?

You are very defensive, which suggest you realize the PP who set you off said something that hit home for YOU. She spoke specifically about wealthy housewives complaining about their husbands. If you stay at home, the home is your job. Isn't that what SAHMs fight to be recognized for? That they are doing worthwhile work of child raising and taking care of the home, ie., cleaning, cooking, etc.? What exactly is your beef with what the PP said? How is she shaming all SAHMs? She's not. You are the nasty one who completely flew off the handle and started the name calling.

OP here pp was patronizing, and her comment was meant to antagonize and instigate mommy wars. This thread is not supposed to be mommy wars. SO I'd like to try to get back on topic. If people don't want to do that I'll just ask Jeff to delete, because I'm not interested in bashing women for working or staying home.

Agree, OP, the question is about the assumptions MEN make with regard to women and caretaking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not a knock on moms that choose to stay home of their own volition.

I'm talking about guys who marry a woman with a career. Guys that get with awoman knowing her career is important to her, that she spent years getting into her position, same as he did, that just assume she'll stay home because he doesn't like daycare or his mom stayed home, and his brother's wife stays home, or because he makes money?

Why is it overwhelmingly the woman who is expected to sacrifice her career ,even if it's not what she wants.

To be fair, I now one dad who altered his career to stay home when his kids were small instead of ecpexting his wife, too, but why is this so rare?

OP, I am curious why you are asking this. Is your DH pressuring you to stay home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not a knock on moms that choose to stay home of their own volition.

I'm talking about guys who marry a woman with a career. Guys that get with awoman knowing her career is important to her, that she spent years getting into her position, same as he did, that just assume she'll stay home because he doesn't like daycare or his mom stayed home, and his brother's wife stays home, or because he makes money?


Why is it overwhelmingly the woman who is expected to sacrifice her career ,even if it's not what she wants.


To be fair, I now one dad who altered his career to stay home when his kids were small instead of ecpexting his wife, too, but why is this so rare?

As long as SO many women model this "lifestyle" for future generations, it will be hard to change.

There are so many wealthy women on this forum who won't OWN this part of the legacy they are leaving.

It is one thing before your kids start school. It is quite another when your kids are in middle school and high school.
Why is it okay that someone pays for your food and housing, like they do for their children?

The height of irony are the stay at home moms who complain that their husbands don't do enough around the house. How much do you do around his office?

This is coming from a woman, who works outside the home and is a good mom also.

Thanks for doing your part in shaming sahm’s and continuing the mommy wars! Most well adjusted, married humans consider any income earned by either parent as jointly owned, so no, the husband is not “paying” for his very own sahm. Household chores and kids’ stuff are mostly handled by sahm. They don’t just disappear bc the kids are in middle or high school. I doubt your shitty office job is so much more super special or important than housework. Same goes for your husband too. Your retrograde views are disgusting and I’m positive you’re not a good mom bc you’re a judgey bitch.

You are no better PP . You could have ignored this response and answered the actual question of the thread, but instead you chose to engage in drama and further the wars.

No idiot, I have no obligation to sit silently and ignore someone who insults an entire group of women. If my reply is too dramatic for you, why don’t you take your own advice, stop engaging, and mind your own business?

This is my thread for one thing. And I have actively tried to keep the topic away from the mommy wars, and on the subject, I asked about. If you want people to be respected, I suggest you first learn to act respectfully, which includes not lashing out and namecalling.

Now if you have an answer to the actual question, please share it, but if you want to contiue mommy wars please leave and start your own thread.

Sorry OP but you don’t get to direct the course of the thread and what we can and can’t post just bc you started it.

[Anonymous]

My husband didn’t assume that I’d be a SAHM. I had an MBA from a top school and I worked for 8 years before we had children. He really left the decision up to me and he said he would support whatever decision I made so I kept on working. Over time and after three children I made career adjustments that gave me a better work/life balance and my husband was always supportive even when it resulted in reduced earnings. What really helped us was that we always saved a lot of money so that if I wanted to be a SAHM I could have. But that’s not what I wanted. What’s interesting is that my husband has four brothers and all of their wives are SAHM as was his mother. I guess I married the enlightened one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not a knock on moms that choose to stay home of their own volition.

I'm talking about guys who marry a woman with a career. Guys that get with awoman knowing her career is important to her, that she spent years getting into her position, same as he did, that just assume she'll stay home because he doesn't like daycare or his mom stayed home, and his brother's wife stays home, or because he makes money?


Why is it overwhelmingly the woman who is expected to sacrifice her career ,even if it's not what she wants.


To be fair, I now one dad who altered his career to stay home when his kids were small instead of ecpexting his wife, too, but why is this so rare?

As long as SO many women model this "lifestyle" for future generations, it will be hard to change.

There are so many wealthy women on this forum who won't OWN this part of the legacy they are leaving.

It is one thing before your kids start school. It is quite another when your kids are in middle school and high school.
Why is it okay that someone pays for your food and housing, like they do for their children?

The height of irony are the stay at home moms who complain that their husbands don't do enough around the house. How much do you do around his office?

This is coming from a woman, who works outside the home and is a good mom also.

Thanks for doing your part in shaming sahm’s and continuing the mommy wars! Most well adjusted, married humans consider any income earned by either parent as jointly owned, so no, the husband is not “paying” for his very own sahm. Household chores and kids’ stuff are mostly handled by sahm. They don’t just disappear bc the kids are in middle or high school. I doubt your shitty office job is so much more super special or important than housework. Same goes for your husband too. Your retrograde views are disgusting and I’m positive you’re not a good mom bc you’re a judgey bitch.

You are no better PP . You could have ignored this response and answered the actual question of the thread, but instead you chose to engage in drama and further the wars.

No idiot, I have no obligation to sit silently and ignore someone who insults an entire group of women. If my reply is too dramatic for you, why don’t you take your own advice, stop engaging, and mind your own business?

You are very defensive, which suggest you realize the PP who set you off said something that hit home for YOU. She spoke specifically about wealthy housewives complaining about their husbands. If you stay at home, the home is your job. Isn't that what SAHMs fight to be recognized for? That they are doing worthwhile work of child raising and taking care of the home, ie., cleaning, cooking, etc.? What exactly is your beef with what the PP said? How is she shaming all SAHMs? She's not. You are the nasty one who completely flew off the handle and started the name calling.

-1. You are either the judgey PP or completely lack reasoning skills if what you wrote is what you got from that whole exchange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not a knock on moms that choose to stay home of their own volition.

I'm talking about guys who marry a woman with a career. Guys that get with awoman knowing her career is important to her, that she spent years getting into her position, same as he did, that just assume she'll stay home because he doesn't like daycare or his mom stayed home, and his brother's wife stays home, or because he makes money?


Why is it overwhelmingly the woman who is expected to sacrifice her career ,even if it's not what she wants.


To be fair, I now one dad who altered his career to stay home when his kids were small instead of ecpexting his wife, too, but why is this so rare?

As long as SO many women model this "lifestyle" for future generations, it will be hard to change.

There are so many wealthy women on this forum who won't OWN this part of the legacy they are leaving.

It is one thing before your kids start school. It is quite another when your kids are in middle school and high school.
Why is it okay that someone pays for your food and housing, like they do for their children?

The height of irony are the stay at home moms who complain that their husbands don't do enough around the house. How much do you do around his office?

This is coming from a woman, who works outside the home and is a good mom also.

Thanks for doing your part in shaming sahm’s and continuing the mommy wars! Most well adjusted, married humans consider any income earned by either parent as jointly owned, so no, the husband is not “paying” for his very own sahm. Household chores and kids’ stuff are mostly handled by sahm. They don’t just disappear bc the kids are in middle or high school. I doubt your shitty office job is so much more super special or important than housework. Same goes for your husband too. Your retrograde views are disgusting and I’m positive you’re not a good mom bc you’re a judgey bitch.

You are no better PP . You could have ignored this response and answered the actual question of the thread, but instead you chose to engage in drama and further the wars.

No idiot, I have no obligation to sit silently and ignore someone who insults an entire group of women. If my reply is too dramatic for you, why don’t you take your own advice, stop engaging, and mind your own business?

You are very defensive, which suggest you realize the PP who set you off said something that hit home for YOU. She spoke specifically about wealthy housewives complaining about their husbands. If you stay at home, the home is your job. Isn't that what SAHMs fight to be recognized for? That they are doing worthwhile work of child raising and taking care of the home, ie., cleaning, cooking, etc.? What exactly is your beef with what the PP said? How is she shaming all SAHMs? She's not. You are the nasty one who completely flew off the handle and started the name calling.

OP here pp was patronizing, and her comment was meant to antagonize and instigate mommy wars. This thread is not supposed to be mommy wars. SO I'd like to try to get back on topic. If people don't want to do that I'll just ask Jeff to delete, because I'm not interested in bashing women for working or staying home.

DP here. I agree with you. I think many of the responses have been positive and thoughtful, but obviously not the few PPs above. You can ask Jeff to delete derailing and mommy war posts -- he will do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not a knock on moms that choose to stay home of their own volition.

I'm talking about guys who marry a woman with a career. Guys that get with awoman knowing her career is important to her, that she spent years getting into her position, same as he did, that just assume she'll stay home because he doesn't like daycare or his mom stayed home, and his brother's wife stays home, or because he makes money?

Why is it overwhelmingly the woman who is expected to sacrifice her career ,even if it's not what she wants.

To be fair, I now one dad who altered his career to stay home when his kids were small instead of ecpexting his wife, too, but why is this so rare?

OP, I am curious why you are asking this. Is your DH pressuring you to stay home?

Thankfully no. Unfortunately, there are several women close to me who feel pressured to stay home, even though that's never what they wanted, and their husbands are being completely inflexible. There is also the multitude of threads of women worrying over becoming the default parent, or having to quit their job, or boyfriend/fiance etc has decided that the women in the equation is going to stay home.

Where does this come from, that to many it's not even a thought that they could stay home instead of mom? Especially for younger men, men 50 and younger GenXers and Millenials I can understand in precvious generations where the society was stll so patriarchal.

There have been many good points made regard socialization, men being criticized for staying home the way women are criticized for ether choice, religion, and culture.

And interesting though I consider bogus claims of men being incapable of nurturing. Though I do think there could be an argument for their being a biological drive for a mom to be near her infant.

I guess what are we getting wrong?

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of men want Stepford wives: Disney robots who will cook, clean, take care of children, and have sex, but don’t actually have any wants or needs of their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine expected me to stay home and handle all of the kid and house stuff.....while still making 6 figures. Not sure how that works. But when I was SAHM, he resented that I didn’t make money. When I worked, he resented that it infringed on his career.

I think males in our society are raised to be entitled, while females are raised to sacrifice for others. They’re deep seated cultural beliefs that most people don’t even realize they have.

I see it even among SAH parents - SAHMs do way more for their kids, while the SAHDs I see are focused on themselves and ignore their kids, play on their phone, etc.

Ha! This is the crux of it, isn’t it?
It’s not that DH expects me to SAH, but that he expects me to do all of the work of a SAHM whether or not I work outside the home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not a knock on moms that choose to stay home of their own volition.

I'm talking about guys who marry a woman with a career. Guys that get with awoman knowing her career is important to her, that she spent years getting into her position, same as he did, that just assume she'll stay home because he doesn't like daycare or his mom stayed home, and his brother's wife stays home, or because he makes money?

Why is it overwhelmingly the woman who is expected to sacrifice her career ,even if it's not what she wants.

To be fair, I now one dad who altered his career to stay home when his kids were small instead of ecpexting his wife, too, but why is this so rare?

OP, I am curious why you are asking this. Is your DH pressuring you to stay home?

Thankfully no. Unfortunately, there are several women close to me who feel pressured to stay home, even though that's never what they wanted, and their husbands are being completely inflexible. There is also the multitude of threads of women worrying over becoming the default parent, or having to quit their job, or boyfriend/fiance etc has decided that the women in the equation is going to stay home.

Where does this come from, that to many it's not even a thought that they could stay home instead of mom? Especially for younger men, men 50 and younger GenXers and Millenials I can understand in precvious generations where the society was stll so patriarchal.

There have been many good points made regard socialization, men being criticized for staying home the way women are criticized for ether choice, religion, and culture.

And interesting though I consider bogus claims of men being incapable of nurturing. Though I do think there could be an argument for their being a biological drive for a mom to be near her infant.

I guess what are we getting wrong?

I think it’s more insidious than this.
Women carry the infant, so they start off a little more bonded with the infant.
Then women take maternity leave, so they learn how to take care of the baby. Maybe they are nursing as well.
Then when it comes time to go back, it becomes clear that two full throttle careers won’t work. Since the woman is more comfortable with the home stuff, she decides to step back a little.
Since she is home more, more of the home management stuff falls on her. It makes sense.
They decide to have another baby, and there is more to do at home. She is now making less money because she stepped back, and she is more comfortable with the home stuff, so it just makes sense for her to go part time.
He now feels financial pressure to care for two children and a wife working part time. He goes even harder at work (after all, his wife is taking card of the kids), and starts to make more money.
Meanwhile, her job becomes less enjoyable. She is less critical because she works part time, she is tired from doing everything at home, and work becomes only about the income.
Then one day they look at the income. And with his increase in income, her part time income minus childcare for two kids is a very small portion of their take home. It seems like it’s not worth it for the stress it’s putting on the family.
So she quits. Or takes very part time consulting work and becomes a SAHM.

So, did she choose to quit? Did he pressure her into it? I don’t know. But unless both people make a real effort to maintain two working parents, it’s all too easy to fall into the above pattern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's because they can't wrap their heads around doing what parents in a two-career family need to do to manage a household, which is basically constant toil and a lot of executive functioning. They can't fathom it so they assume SAHM is the only answer.

Call me old fashioned, tell me I’ve set women back, but I had always wanted to be a SAHM since I was a little girl.

I had a career post college for about 8 years, met the man I’ve been married to for 25 years. We had similar life goals and he was supportive of me becoming a SAHM (or I wouldn’t have married him). Was a SAHM for 15 years. Loved it.

DH didn’t assume - his mom worked outside of the home. My MIL was never supportive of me becoming a SAHM and was openly critical, but that’s another story for a new thread!

Your story really isn't for this thread either as you CHOSE to be a SAHM. Your DH didn't assume you would be or pressure you into it.

PP quoted. You have a nasty attitude and poor reading comprehension.

Are you OP who is quoting and then ranting against anyone who dare doesn’t fit your narrative?

My point is that not ALL men assume or expect that their wives will become SAHMs. I wouldn’t marry someone who made assumptions about any of our life choices. All needs to be discussed prior to marriage.

You seem angry. Try to work on managing your own expectations.