Freak accident

[Anonymous]

None of this adds up. Not one word. It makes no sense that you would pass out From having your scarf tugged on. Unless your five-year-old is extremely violent. It makes no sense that your children would beat on you while you were passed out. I’m not saying something violent did not happen to you, but the story is not true. Please evaluate your husband’s role in all of this and seek help for the sake of your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None of this adds up. Not one word. It makes no sense that you would pass out From having your scarf tugged on. Unless your five-year-old is extremely violent. It makes no sense that your children would beat on you while you were passed out. I’m not saying something violent did not happen to you, but the story is not true. Please evaluate your husband’s role in all of this and seek help for the sake of your children.

Not true. I am one of the PP’s whose husband past our after my 10 year old hung on to his neck. My BFF is a physician and we called her right after it happened, trying to decide we needed to go to the ER. You can very easily cause someone to pass out if you cut off the blood supply via the carotid. It not only doesn’t “make no sense”, it makes quite a bit of sense.

[Anonymous]

I rough house with my kids and sometimes pretend to be asleep and they will sneak up on me and 'wake me up' by poking and jumping on me until I start grabbing them again. I could totally see myself accidentally getting a black eye by overzealous waking attempts if I passed out. And my four year old tends to get laugh/ cry get crazy when she's scared. I agree the 5 year old seems the most normal and developmentally appropriate.

I think the fact that you passed out for multiple minutes is the biggest concern here. You need to go to a doctor. And yes 8 year old needs to be taught about emergencies. Sociopaths don't cry and get upset after the fact. She did behave strangely but I agree with another poster that you were likely out much less than a few minutes (LONG time to be passed out).

[Anonymous]

For heavens sake, hug your five year old! Maybe he was hitting trying in a panic to wake you up - it does sound the most developmentally appropriate. Give yourself about five more minutes to feel sorry for yourself about what has happened and then focus on the kids and get them the help they need, especially the 8 year old who yes, should have known to call for help. Your kids need you to step up and be a parent and not focus on your own feelings right now. That being said I'm very sorry that this ordeal has occurred and wish you luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of this adds up. Not one word. It makes no sense that you would pass out From having your scarf tugged on. Unless your five-year-old is extremely violent. It makes no sense that your children would beat on you while you were passed out. I’m not saying something violent did not happen to you, but the story is not true. Please evaluate your husband’s role in all of this and seek help for the sake of your children.

Not true. I am one of the PP’s whose husband past our after my 10 year old hung on to his neck. My BFF is a physician and we called her right after it happened, trying to decide we needed to go to the ER. You can very easily cause someone to pass out if you cut off the blood supply via the carotid. It not only doesn’t “make no sense”, it makes quite a bit of sense.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So this crazy fluke thing happened today where my 5yo started pulling on my scarf that was wrapped around my neck. Next thing I know, I pass out, for what must have been a few minutes. I have a black eye. I find out later that while I was unconscious, my 5yo was jumping on my face, using my fist to punch me in the face, and jumping over me. And my older child was also jumping over me, and sneaking on my phone to play games. I know they are young, but I am livid and I'm honestly hurt - that in a moment where I was vulnerable and possibly hurt, my kids decided to abuse me and take advantage of me instead of trying to help me. I know they weren't being malicious, and I know they didn't really realize why I wasn't responsive, but still, it is really bugging me. The mature side of me understands they just don't know any better but still, I feel resentful and I can't help it. Help talk some sense into me.

Was your 5 year old really jumping ON your face? That's really off.

[Anonymous]

I have not read the whole thread, but if the scarf strangled you - you need to go TO THE HOSPITAL NOW.

You might not have marks on the inside, but you might have internal damage. If you passed out - that is a really serious flag. I work in the field of domestic violence where a lot of people are strangled and know that it can be VERY VERY dangerous. Please - seek medical attention now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have not read the whole thread, but if the scarf strangled you - you need to go TO THE HOSPITAL NOW.

You might not have marks on the inside, but you might have internal damage. If you passed out - that is a really serious flag. I work in the field of domestic violence where a lot of people are strangled and know that it can be VERY VERY dangerous. Please - seek medical attention now.

Or, the scarf put pressure on the carotid which temporarily cut off blood supply and caused OP to pass out. No strangulation necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. So I told my husband about what happened (after kids went to sleep), and he was more concerned about me. My 8yo actually pleaded with me NOT to tell my husband. I AM concerned about her, I think after she realized the seriousness of what had happened, she was traumatized and very upset with herself that she had royally messed up.

Apparently she didn't see the part where I passed out. Either she didn't think I was really unconscious, or she didn't know what me being unconscious really meant and that it was an actual emergency. I don't want her to blame herself, I want to make sure she knows what to do in these situations.

Same with my 5yo, but he seems to be actively avoiding talking about what happened, so I am having trouble getting through to him. The whole thing was kind of scary - to me, and I'm sure to my kids. I believe my 5yo has some anxiety issues too - we've actually had a few losses in our family not too long ago, and he did recently go through a stage where he was very anxious about dying - for himself and for us, and asking a million questions about what happens after you die. So I'm wondering if the reality of the situation is just too scary for him to really process.

I can't help feeling like my connection to my kids was affected. If they were adults and reacted the way they did, I'd be furious and would feel like I couldn't trust them. But they are kids, and rationally I know that, but still it brings me to tears knowing that they reacted the way that they did. I'm trying to get some perspective here because I know I'm emotional and not thinking rationally. But some of you have said out loud the things I've thought - that they must be broken somehow, that maybe I have failed them in that I haven't been able to teach them to be basic decent human beings. I still haven't been able to bring myself to hug my 5yo after the incident. I think I'm still processing it all myself.

It sounds like a difficult situation for all of you. And you and the kids could use a little bit of therapy. At least a few sessions. There is no shame in getting help. I know you want this all to be okay and just to go away. But it's not okay and you know that.

OP, I'm sorry you had to go through that, and I'm sorry for the harsh blowback you are getting in some of the responses. I do think all of you could benefit from therapy, and the kids could benefit from some additional evaluation. I understand that there is a range of "normal/acceptable" but you need to be thinking about what steps you need to take now to set you kids up for success later. If your 5 year old boy continues to be usually strong for his age AND continues to engage in rough play AND doesn't learn how to take cues from people when they tell him to stop--it's setting him up for getting into a serious injury-causing incident with another kid at his school. I'm not saying this to make you feel bad, or that you did something wrong, or that he is "broken"--I'm saying you have identified an issue and now you can proactively do things to make the situation better. Take care of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I rough house with my kids and sometimes pretend to be asleep and they will sneak up on me and 'wake me up' by poking and jumping on me until I start grabbing them again. I could totally see myself accidentally getting a black eye by overzealous waking attempts if I passed out. And my four year old tends to get laugh/ cry get crazy when she's scared. I agree the 5 year old seems the most normal and developmentally appropriate.

I think the fact that you passed out for multiple minutes is the biggest concern here. You need to go to a doctor. And yes 8 year old needs to be taught about emergencies. Sociopaths don't cry and get upset after the fact. She did behave strangely but I agree with another poster that you were likely out much less than a few minutes (LONG time to be passed out).

Your kids are too wild and you are playing roughly and unsafely. As for op- it’s a five year old pulling a scarf. Something is not true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I rough house with my kids and sometimes pretend to be asleep and they will sneak up on me and 'wake me up' by poking and jumping on me until I start grabbing them again. I could totally see myself accidentally getting a black eye by overzealous waking attempts if I passed out. And my four year old tends to get laugh/ cry get crazy when she's scared. I agree the 5 year old seems the most normal and developmentally appropriate.

I think the fact that you passed out for multiple minutes is the biggest concern here. You need to go to a doctor. And yes 8 year old needs to be taught about emergencies. Sociopaths don't cry and get upset after the fact. She did behave strangely but I agree with another poster that you were likely out much less than a few minutes (LONG time to be passed out).

Your kids are too wild and you are playing roughly and unsafely. As for op- it’s a five year old pulling a scarf. Something is not true.

+1. I can't imagine growing up or having my children grow up in a house where people are putting their hands on each other like this. You keep your hands to yourself. What are you teaching your children about personal boundaries, theirs and others with this nonsense??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still don’t understand how your child strangled you. How in the world did you allow it to get to that point. I’m serious. I’m trying to picture this. So, I’m wearing a scarf, and my five-year-old starts tugging at it. First of all, I wouldn’t even let him tug at some thing that I’m wearing about my neck. Second of all, if he was tugging to the point that I felt any tension whatsoever I would tell him to stop it. Don’t you think you are contributing to this messed up home environment by allowing your children to act so wildly and dangerously?

I did ask him to stop pulling but he wasn't listening. I probably could have stopped it and obviously should have before I passed out, so that was my bad - I had no idea I would actually pass out.

But OP... I’m concerned with your history of abuse... you’re allowed (required, if you want your children to understand healthy boundaries) to physically stop someone from harming your body in even minor ways. I’m concerned you weren’t willing to put a stop to this because “you didn’t know you would pass out.” As if the risk of passing out is the only thing that would make this immediately unacceptable. I’m not a harsh parent, by the way! I don’t even punish my kid, but I do discipline her.

This also goes for being able/required to enforce healthy boundaries around the roughhousing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of this adds up. Not one word. It makes no sense that you would pass out From having your scarf tugged on. Unless your five-year-old is extremely violent. It makes no sense that your children would beat on you while you were passed out. I’m not saying something violent did not happen to you, but the story is not true. Please evaluate your husband’s role in all of this and seek help for the sake of your children.

Not true. I am one of the PP’s whose husband past our after my 10 year old hung on to his neck. My BFF is a physician and we called her right after it happened, trying to decide we needed to go to the ER. You can very easily cause someone to pass out if you cut off the blood supply via the carotid. It not only doesn’t “make no sense”, it makes quite a bit of sense.

You see this happening in a lot of movies. When they don’t want to kill you, they seem to put you in some sort of chokehold and the person passes out. I’m no doctor but there must be some truth to it since they show this happen quite often in movies.

[Anonymous]

We roughhouse a lot and wrestle and engage in a lot of physical play with the kids. We also play dead / knocked out / asleep sometimes. I can see that for the first little bit my kids might think I was playing but since it didn't occur in the context of play fighting, I think they would pretty quickly clue in that something was wrong. Are you sure you were out for a few minutes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I rough house with my kids and sometimes pretend to be asleep and they will sneak up on me and 'wake me up' by poking and jumping on me until I start grabbing them again. I could totally see myself accidentally getting a black eye by overzealous waking attempts if I passed out. And my four year old tends to get laugh/ cry get crazy when she's scared. I agree the 5 year old seems the most normal and developmentally appropriate.

I think the fact that you passed out for multiple minutes is the biggest concern here. You need to go to a doctor. And yes 8 year old needs to be taught about emergencies. Sociopaths don't cry and get upset after the fact. She did behave strangely but I agree with another poster that you were likely out much less than a few minutes (LONG time to be passed out).

Your kids are too wild and you are playing roughly and unsafely. As for op- it’s a five year old pulling a scarf. Something is not true.

+1. I can't imagine growing up or having my children grow up in a house where people are putting their hands on each other like this. You keep your hands to yourself. What are you teaching your children about personal boundaries, theirs and others with this nonsense??

DP. Roughhousing is healthy for kids. You know that but are unwilling to admit it.