Freak accident

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of these posters are being really mean.

I don’t know, sweetie. I have a 5 and 8 year old and would be really upset, too. I think you’re valid in your feelings and shouldn’t ignore them. Talk to a therapist and your pediatrician to get more info.

I’m not sure what my 8 year old would do in this situation but if the answer was get my phone and play games, I would be terrified and angry and feeling that I messed up. The 5 year old can be hit or miss IMO so wouldn’t jump to conclusions yet.

Agree. With a five year old, I think trying to wake you up really roughly wouldn't be an unexpected response. My eight year old might not be able to call for help, but it would be because she was freaked out, crying, and worried I was dead. It sounds like an intense and upsetting situation, I would try not to freak out, but I would followup and get some expert advice, particularly for your older child.

[Anonymous]

A five yr old should have been taught to call 911 in what he believes is an emergency and s non-r sponsive adult is an emergency. Why haven't you taught this to your children?

[Anonymous]

This literally just recently happened in our house. After losing a video game match with my husband, my 10 year old jumped on his back piggy back style. He was holding on so tightly around my husbands neck that DH passed out. My son tried to wake him, and then came running upstairs to me and said “I think I knocked dad out!” He was pretty panicked.

It doesn’t sound like your 8 year olds reaction was at all normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, wereyou actually passed out, or were you pretending to pass out to test how they’d respond. It would be very unusual for a 5yo to be able to choke you so quickly with a scarf just hanging around your neck.

I didn’t think it could happen either- he was hanging off the couch behind me, pulling my infinity scarf which was wrapped double around my neck. And I was leaning forward and I felt it choking me but didn’t think I’d actually pass out.

Have you been to a doctor yet? You should probably be seen to make sure there aren’t any red flags for your health in here.

+1. This was either a freak event or could be something else.

Your kids sound like they need training on what to do in an emergency and to know what is an emergency, at the very least. I'll save the armchair psychiatry.

[Anonymous]

How do you know what they were doing while you were passed out? I assume the older child told you -- however is that child reliable?

[Anonymous]

This is not normal in any way. Your kids could have killed you. And they could kill someone else. And you don't seem to care at all, other than having your feelings hurt a tad. That is some messed up thinking!

[Anonymous]

Op here. So I told my husband about what happened (after kids went to sleep), and he was more concerned about me. My 8yo actually pleaded with me NOT to tell my husband. I AM concerned about her, I think after she realized the seriousness of what had happened, she was traumatized and very upset with herself that she had royally messed up.

Apparently she didn't see the part where I passed out. Either she didn't think I was really unconscious, or she didn't know what me being unconscious really meant and that it was an actual emergency. I don't want her to blame herself, I want to make sure she knows what to do in these situations.

Same with my 5yo, but he seems to be actively avoiding talking about what happened, so I am having trouble getting through to him. The whole thing was kind of scary - to me, and I'm sure to my kids. I believe my 5yo has some anxiety issues too - we've actually had a few losses in our family not too long ago, and he did recently go through a stage where he was very anxious about dying - for himself and for us, and asking a million questions about what happens after you die. So I'm wondering if the reality of the situation is just too scary for him to really process.

I can't help feeling like my connection to my kids was affected. If they were adults and reacted the way they did, I'd be furious and would feel like I couldn't trust them. But they are kids, and rationally I know that, but still it brings me to tears knowing that they reacted the way that they did. I'm trying to get some perspective here because I know I'm emotional and not thinking rationally. But some of you have said out loud the things I've thought - that they must be broken somehow, that maybe I have failed them in that I haven't been able to teach them to be basic decent human beings. I still haven't been able to bring myself to hug my 5yo after the incident. I think I'm still processing it all myself.

[Anonymous]

And to everyone who keeps saying my 8yo's reaction was not normal - YES I GET IT. She's NOT NORMAL. She's seeing a professional therapist. But for heaven's sake she's not a psychopath or sociopath.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And to everyone who keeps saying my 8yo's reaction was not normal - YES I GET IT. She's NOT NORMAL. She's seeing a professional therapist. But for heaven's sake she's not a psychopath or sociopath.

wait what? was this in the original post?

are you sure about what the kids were doing while you were passed out? or are they telling "stories"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. So I told my husband about what happened (after kids went to sleep), and he was more concerned about me. My 8yo actually pleaded with me NOT to tell my husband. I AM concerned about her, I think after she realized the seriousness of what had happened, she was traumatized and very upset with herself that she had royally messed up.

Apparently she didn't see the part where I passed out. Either she didn't think I was really unconscious, or she didn't know what me being unconscious really meant and that it was an actual emergency. I don't want her to blame herself, I want to make sure she knows what to do in these situations.

Same with my 5yo, but he seems to be actively avoiding talking about what happened, so I am having trouble getting through to him. The whole thing was kind of scary - to me, and I'm sure to my kids. I believe my 5yo has some anxiety issues too - we've actually had a few losses in our family not too long ago, and he did recently go through a stage where he was very anxious about dying - for himself and for us, and asking a million questions about what happens after you die. So I'm wondering if the reality of the situation is just too scary for him to really process.

I can't help feeling like my connection to my kids was affected. If they were adults and reacted the way they did, I'd be furious and would feel like I couldn't trust them. But they are kids, and rationally I know that, but still it brings me to tears knowing that they reacted the way that they did. I'm trying to get some perspective here because I know I'm emotional and not thinking rationally. But some of you have said out loud the things I've thought - that they must be broken somehow, that maybe I have failed them in that I haven't been able to teach them to be basic decent human beings. I still haven't been able to bring myself to hug my 5yo after the incident. I think I'm still processing it all myself.

It sounds like a difficult situation for all of you. And you and the kids could use a little bit of therapy. At least a few sessions. There is no shame in getting help. I know you want this all to be okay and just to go away. But it's not okay and you know that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And to everyone who keeps saying my 8yo's reaction was not normal - YES I GET IT. She's NOT NORMAL. She's seeing a professional therapist. But for heaven's sake she's not a psychopath or sociopath.

Are you doing family therapy?

[Anonymous]

I still don’t understand how your child strangled you. How in the world did you allow it to get to that point. I’m serious. I’m trying to picture this. So, I’m wearing a scarf, and my five-year-old starts tugging at it. First of all, I wouldn’t even let him tug at some thing that I’m wearing about my neck. Second of all, if he was tugging to the point that I felt any tension whatsoever I would tell him to stop it. Don’t you think you are contributing to this messed up home environment by allowing your children to act so wildly and dangerously?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know what they were doing while you were passed out? I assume the older child told you -- however is that child reliable?

I got the story from both of them, but mostly from my older child. My 5yo can lie, but my 8yo honestly doesn't know how to lie when asked directly - she confesses all. I believe them because they knew I was not messing around, and their stories corroborate.

[Anonymous]

IF (and that’s a big IF) this story is true, you need therapy as much as your kids do. Seriously. You truly sound certifiable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still don’t understand how your child strangled you. How in the world did you allow it to get to that point. I’m serious. I’m trying to picture this. So, I’m wearing a scarf, and my five-year-old starts tugging at it. First of all, I wouldn’t even let him tug at some thing that I’m wearing about my neck. Second of all, if he was tugging to the point that I felt any tension whatsoever I would tell him to stop it. Don’t you think you are contributing to this messed up home environment by allowing your children to act so wildly and dangerously?

I did ask him to stop pulling but he wasn't listening. I probably could have stopped it and obviously should have before I passed out, so that was my bad - I had no idea I would actually pass out.