How to get over wedding chip on my shoulder?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This would bother me too. OP, have your own shower. Make it no gifts, but invite your friends for a belated bridal shower. We don’t do games at showers in our family, but if you do, do all the games, have a cake, mimosas, etc.

And I would 100% correct my mom.

“We paid for Jenny’s wedding. It’s what parents do!”
“Actually, mom and dad paid for close to half of the wedding expenses. John and I saved to pay for the bulk of the expenses.”

I am sure that makes me a small person, but whatever.

I don’t think it’s petty as long as you’re polite.

“We were so grateful you could contribute half the costs of the wedding! It was a big help when we were saving for wedding expenses.”

That way she can still say “you’re welcome” but you’re not participating in a lie.

Passive aggressive IS petty, and this isn’t polite as OP feels slighted by the amount her parents contributed.

In my world, parents donating 15k is a sizeable amount, and I *would* be thankful. OP is bitter, ,which is what makes this disingenuous.

[Anonymous]

Get over it! Has life been so hassle-free that this is the big stresser in your life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. This thread actually helped me a lot. I spoke with my mom and she said I was too young to need anything when I was getting married and that she told my aunt not to throw me a shower (I didn’t know my aunt evenoffered to throw one). She said a 23 year old didn’t need fancy china like a 30 year old does who hosts family holidays.

I did know that my parents thought I was getting married too young but dh and I were happy together (and still are!) and wanted to get married before buying a house and moving in together.

My family is wealthy. We are not but are comfortably happy and I don’t regret any money spent on my wedding. I guess I just feel like people don’t support young marriages the same way they support older marriages, but that’s my opinion.

Your mom sucks and I don't think this is about the wedding. She told your aunt not to throw you a shower?!? That's really rude.

My mom tells stories from many years ago where she takes credit for things in my life she didn't do. It's not hurtful because I walk around being angry about those events in general, it's hurtful because it's a reminder of how she actually wasn't there for me when I needed or, or she's rewritten history to make herself at the center of something I did myself.

[Anonymous]

I don't know why you aren't saying anything. My MIL gave me $4k for our wedding and she invited 50 people. I flat out told her that she can either pay the other $26k or stop telling everyone that she paid for the wedding. My parents contributed $15k and even they don't say that. My MIL is a narcissistic b!+@# tho.

[Anonymous]

I'll never understand why people waste so much money on one day.