My daughter got beat up for bullying another child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was crying about her eye, she's whining that it needs to be gone before she goes back to school. Does anyone know how to heal them fast. I don't want her to get teased. I know it's easy to say she deserves it when that's not your child going through it. She's still very young and I know she's hurt physically and emotionally.

-OP

Hopefully it will take a good long time to heal and she will learn some empathy as she worries about being teased. In the meantime, get her out in public and make her deal with it.
Are you are parent or a pathetic enabler?

Why would you want my daughter's injuries to take a long time to heal. That's pretty evil.

Are you serious? It is a black eye not a broken bone. Totally cosmetic. The longer she has to deal with the embarrassment of turning all of the colors of the rainbow, the better.
However, the more I hear all of your pathetic responses, the more I realize that there is not much hope for your kid. SAD!

You're probably right. I'll probably ground her for a few weeks. I don't want her thinking I condone this behavior.

Oops I didn't mean to quote this. I don't agree with this but I understand she needs some punishment. Honestly I'm just overwhelmed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both girls were suspended. The girl she bullied got a longer suspension however, due to the fact that my daughter was badly bruised, and the other child was physically unharmed.

-OP

That's too bad. The black eye will heal a lot faster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for OP. Does your daughter still have a phone? Your answer will tell me how serious you are taking this. How exactly are you punishing your daughter?

I haven't punished her yet. I kind of feel like the beating she got plus suspension is punishment enough.

You are a worthless parent, and the exact reason she's bullying other kids. Too bad the mother didn't punch you as well. Jesus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:op, I was on your side when I first read this - I thought people were being too hard on you because you knew your daughter was wrong and wanted her to learn a lesson. I didn't have time to reply or come to your defense then.

Now I'm reading more of your responses and I don't think you are taking this seriously at all. Your daughter needs some major discipline from you. Take away anything she loves, punish her as hard as you can. Tell her she was wrong, mean and an embarrassment to your family for being so cruel to another human. Tell her you failed as a mother by not instilling in her any values. Make her feel horrible!

An ass-whooping and suspension won't mean anything to her if parents don't also make her realize how wrong it was.

I'm just really overwhelmed with everything. I'm sorry if it's coming off like I don't care. My daughter has never done anything like this before. She's never even been in trouble at school. I feel really bad for the other girl. I think I'm gonna have her write out an apology letter.

[Anonymous]

This thread is proof that a bully can come from any kind of parent...except one that knows how to raise a kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was crying about her eye, she's whining that it needs to be gone before she goes back to school. Does anyone know how to heal them fast. I don't want her to get teased. I know it's easy to say she deserves it when that's not your child going through it. She's still very young and I know she's hurt physically and emotionally.

-OP

You seriously have to be a troll. No real parent worth anything at all could possibly be this self absorbed and assinine. I'm losing all faith in humanity reading this. Your daughter is a nasty piece of work who was bullying another child that finally had enough of her and gave her what she deserved. So far you've done nothing about it. She should go to school with a black eye for everyone to see.

God, you are a worthless excuse for a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tomorrow morning you need to find a therapist for your daughter. Tomorrow morning.

You wanted advice:

-no more phone for her!
-therapy

Get. Her. In. Therapy.

Take. Away. The. Phone.

This is the best advice you could ask for, OP. Take it!
Make sure to add counseling and parenting education for yourself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is proof that a bully can come from any kind of parent...except one that knows how to raise a kid.

+1

[Anonymous]

Honestly I'm just looking for advice, not for ppl to attack my parenting. I'm doing the best I can, and I'm taking all the constructive advice I'm getting. I've already decided to punish her like you all suggested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:op, I was on your side when I first read this - I thought people were being too hard on you because you knew your daughter was wrong and wanted her to learn a lesson. I didn't have time to reply or come to your defense then.

Now I'm reading more of your responses and I don't think you are taking this seriously at all. Your daughter needs some major discipline from you. Take away anything she loves, punish her as hard as you can. Tell her she was wrong, mean and an embarrassment to your family for being so cruel to another human. Tell her you failed as a mother by not instilling in her any values. Make her feel horrible!

An ass-whooping and suspension won't mean anything to her if parents don't also make her realize how wrong it was.

I'm just really overwhelmed with everything. I'm sorry if it's coming off like I don't care. My daughter has never done anything like this before. She's never even been in trouble at school. I feel really bad for the other girl. I think I'm gonna have her write out an apology letter.

No, in person. She should face the girl's parents. She needs to see how pain this has caused.

Take away internet, phone, anything of value.
She is grounded for 2 months.
She must apologize in person.
Make her performs some community service.
Don't ever minimize what she did. Don't ever express that she shouldn't have been punished so hard, or that she's been punished enough. Don't ever make it seem like the girl who fought back was in the wrong for beating her up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked at how many parents are advocating physical violence. Apart from it not being very smart, it is not the right way to handle any situation. It tells me that the other child is equally at fault - if not more. OP's child is at fault, too - but physical violence is a whole new can of worms.

We aren't advocating physical violence. What we are saying is that the perpetrator of the violence had very few tools, so she chose one of the ones available.

My son was bullied for a while and wouldn't deck the other kid. Drove me nuts. On the one hand, I don't like violence, but on the other, I was completely frustrated with the "zero tolerance" policy that took away a flawed tool but didn't replace it with any other. It was AWFUL. The situation in our case would have resolved with a harmless fight in the seventies, but in the zero tolerance oughts, it lasted nine months. Not good for either boy.

[Anonymous]

OP is clearly a troll. I suspension for a week or more was the giveaway. Suspensions typically start at just 3 days or so. Her responses are just ridiculous and seem intended to incite outrage among normal, good parents.

[Anonymous]

Stop bullying, OP. She's trying her best and she's admitting she isn't sure what to do. It's natural to feel protective of your own daughter, even if she is wrong. And her daughter isn't a sociopath. She's a young teen who made a huge mistake. I hope this can be a turning point for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:op, I was on your side when I first read this - I thought people were being too hard on you because you knew your daughter was wrong and wanted her to learn a lesson. I didn't have time to reply or come to your defense then.

Now I'm reading more of your responses and I don't think you are taking this seriously at all. Your daughter needs some major discipline from you. Take away anything she loves, punish her as hard as you can. Tell her she was wrong, mean and an embarrassment to your family for being so cruel to another human. Tell her you failed as a mother by not instilling in her any values. Make her feel horrible!

An ass-whooping and suspension won't mean anything to her if parents don't also make her realize how wrong it was.

I'm just really overwhelmed with everything. I'm sorry if it's coming off like I don't care. My daughter has never done anything like this before. She's never even been in trouble at school. I feel really bad for the other girl. I think I'm gonna have her write out an apology letter.

Um, yes, yes, she HAS done this before. You have learned that your daughter is a bully: your daughter HAS been bullying another girl. This kind of behavior isn't a one-off. This is the kind of thing a bully and her mob friends tend to do repeatedly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:op, I was on your side when I first read this - I thought people were being too hard on you because you knew your daughter was wrong and wanted her to learn a lesson. I didn't have time to reply or come to your defense then.

Now I'm reading more of your responses and I don't think you are taking this seriously at all. Your daughter needs some major discipline from you. Take away anything she loves, punish her as hard as you can. Tell her she was wrong, mean and an embarrassment to your family for being so cruel to another human. Tell her you failed as a mother by not instilling in her any values. Make her feel horrible!

An ass-whooping and suspension won't mean anything to her if parents don't also make her realize how wrong it was.

I'm just really overwhelmed with everything. I'm sorry if it's coming off like I don't care. My daughter has never done anything like this before. She's never even been in trouble at school. I feel really bad for the other girl. I think I'm gonna have her write out an apology letter.

She obviously has done “something like this before” as there is a pattern of bullying that you are refusing to acknowledge.
Have you taken away her phone, laptop, iPad, etc yet?