Help me figure out how to see my grandkids more often!

[Anonymous]

And now we can keep a count of how many people respond without reading to the end of the thread. A little tip: if you're jonesing to respond to a multi-page thread on page one, skip to the last page and make sure things haven't changed significantly in between.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And now we can keep a count of how many people respond without reading to the end of the thread. A little tip: if you're jonesing to respond to a multi-page thread on page one, skip to the last page and make sure things haven't changed significantly in between.

Sorry we don't have all day to read a billion page thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And now we can keep a count of how many people respond without reading to the end of the thread. A little tip: if you're jonesing to respond to a multi-page thread on page one, skip to the last page and make sure things haven't changed significantly in between.

Sorry we don't have all day to read a billion page thread.

Where did I say read the whole thread? I said skip to the last page to make sure things haven't changed significantly in a way that makes your post a waste of effort (such as here, where people kept responding to the OP after it had been revealed that OP was actually the DIL complaining about her MIL).

[Anonymous]

Now I feel sorry for MIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now I feel sorry for MIL.

No kidding. You have to be a pretty wretched DIL to start a thread like this.

[Anonymous]

She must have gotten something out of posting it. But you know the MIL would have told her side of the story differently, so it's not like the answers really meant anything for her situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And this is OP, but when I come to visit, I don't do anything but sit there. They aren't entertaining me. I sit there and watch them go about their business. I try not to be in the way. But I can sense DIL just doesn't want me there. Even at my home once a month, I can tell she would rather be anywhere but there. But I am my sons mother and I feel it's not too much to ask to spend a day with them!

Why are you just sitting there? Why aren't you taking the kids to the park, getting on the floor playing, giving them baths, helping with dishes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She must have gotten something out of posting it. But you know the MIL would have told her side of the story differently, so it's not like the answers really meant anything for her situation.

Although it's interesting to go back and read the critical things she wrote about the "DIL" when posing as the "MIL." If it even half represents the truth, OP comes off looking pretty bad in this dynamic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry to say this but you're expectations are too high. You already see them more than more people. Although you are invited, during the weekday it is an intrusion. There so many things to do, working, commuting, making dinner, cleaning, bedtime routine, and on top of it, you coming over is not added value, (making fancier meal, entertaining you). You inviting them over versus they (working parents with no time) inviting you over is completely different. For working parents the way to see them more is to assist in picking up the child, offering to babysit or take them to doctor's appointments, driving them to school, or see them over the summer. My mother lives 1 mile away, she leaves us alone and does errands for us or watches him when he's sick or when we need a babysitter. Our time is so limited with our children, every moment counts and I don't want to spend it with parents, because it becomes all about their time instead of my time. Let your children be parents.

Wow you sound super selfish and entitled. Nice that the only way your mom can see her grandkid during the school year is if hes's sick or she's babysitting. I can't imagine doing this to my mother. It's not all about you.

[Anonymous]

They are busy. you are not. go to them.
if the drive is long, stay over a night and help with breakfast the next day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She must have gotten something out of posting it. But you know the MIL would have told her side of the story differently, so it's not like the answers really meant anything for her situation.

Although it's interesting to go back and read the critical things she wrote about the "DIL" when posing as the "MIL." If it even half represents the truth, OP comes off looking pretty bad in this dynamic.

Yep. I really pity MIL now.

[Anonymous]

I still feel sorry for the wife. She has an uninvolved husband and father of her children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry to say this but you're expectations are too high. You already see them more than more people. Although you are invited, during the weekday it is an intrusion. There so many things to do, working, commuting, making dinner, cleaning, bedtime routine, and on top of it, you coming over is not added value, (making fancier meal, entertaining you). You inviting them over versus they (working parents with no time) inviting you over is completely different. For working parents the way to see them more is to assist in picking up the child, offering to babysit or take them to doctor's appointments, driving them to school, or see them over the summer. My mother lives 1 mile away, she leaves us alone and does errands for us or watches him when he's sick or when we need a babysitter. Our time is so limited with our children, every moment counts and I don't want to spend it with parents, because it becomes all about their time instead of my time. Let your children be parents.

Wow you sound super selfish and entitled. Nice that the only way your mom can see her grandkid during the school year is if hes's sick or she's babysitting. I can't imagine doing this to my mother. It's not all about you.

Sounds more like PP is incredibly busy. This is how the world has become. People are necessarily selfish and stingy with their time because shit doesn't get done otherwise. It'd be wise for parents to understand this and throw themselves into their kids' lives. It benefits them too, because they see and get closer to their kids and grandkids.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like a perfectly normal MIL/DIL relationship to me. Of course your DIL prefers her own family to you. That's not a bad thing. If your son doesn't bring the kids to visit you, that's on him, not your DIL. Sorry your DIL isn't one of the rare breeds who prefers her MIL to her own family. Your unhappiness is your own fault. Your son and DIL are not responsible for it.

[Anonymous]

Why should they we willing to brave the traffic with kids when you don't want to do it on your own? Isn't one person stuck in traffic better than kids being stuck in traffic during the week when there is also homework and activities?