Men, be honest, if your wife was fat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go look at statues of fertility goddesses and Aphrodites. They all have full thighs, bellies, butts. This American obsession with adult women looking like adolescent boys is insane. If you really want an adolescent boy, go get yourself one.

This is what fat women tell themselves to feel better about their poor lifestyle choices. A fit woman does not, at all, look like an adolescent boy. But sure, keep devouring those twinkies while you blame everyone else for their lack of good taste.

American men have distorted views because of the prevalence of fake boobs here. A size 2-4 with 34DD breasts is not the result of being fit. It's a surgical intervention. Go to other countries and look at the fit women. Almost always A cups.

I live in Eastern Europe and I can assure you this is not true. I know plenty of fit, slim women who are C and above. And I'm a fit woman who is a C cup, before you leap in to say I must be a man who doesn't know what he is looking at. The fresh foods and plenty of walking keep most women slim.

Western Europe as well: more walking or bicycling, less McDonalds. People in the US (and supposedly Britain) are fat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ stylish older women have to be super skinny?

Hubba hubba

notice the covered face

[Anonymous]

Omg, of course men will usually prefer a thin woman. Just like most women would prefer a fit guy. However life and love is about a lot more than the physical. And the majority of people gain weight as they get older. Men and women. And most fit people I know with kids have fluctuated a lot in their weight through the years. Because...life. If men are truly not attracted at all to a size 14 woman, then they shouldn't want to have kids with their wife, because there is a good chance she will be a size 14 at some point in their relationship.

I'm a size 12 right now, and my H says I am perfect, even though I was a size 6 when we met. I'm sure he would prefer I was a six 6 again, if he had a choice, but he seems pretty attracted to me as it is now. But a size is just a number too-- Size 14 looks very different on different women.

The saddest poster is the one who is disgusted with herself and thinks that self-acceptance and confidence when you are overweight is just deluding yourself. You are missing the point entirely. It's just that you and your value is so much more than the shell of your body. That's just one part of a whole. So a person can be aware they need to lose 30 pounds and still be confident and happy because there is so much more to life. So much more.

[Anonymous]

Omg, of course men will usually prefer a thin woman.

A lie. We prefer a woman who isn't obese. There's a difference.

[Anonymous]

My first wife put on about 60 lbs (no kids) and yes it impacted my attraction to her. Ultimately, she found a string of guys who found her attractive enough to screw her. She slept with at least five guys that I'm aware of and had two affairs. She was also a budding alcaholic and I couldn't work and save around her spending.

I threw her out after I found out about the second affair and we had an amicable divorce.

When I started dating again I would only date women who had a lifelong view of fitness and did it for themselves. I think that I viewed overweight women as not having their sh*t together - If you don't care about your health then what do you care about? And what else in life do you take to excess.

In hindsight, I know that viewpoint is wrong and people are just people. I did meet and marry a person who was very fit. We've been married now 14 years and she's still really fit and I'm very attracted to her. Obviously, she's so much more than a fit body but I love being attracted to each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go look at statues of fertility goddesses and Aphrodites. They all have full thighs, bellies, butts. This American obsession with adult women looking like adolescent boys is insane. If you really want an adolescent boy, go get yourself one.

Ridiculous. I am 50 years old. Five grown children. 5'5 and 117 pounds. With measurements of 34/24/34, I promise you I do not look like an adolescent boy. You can be fit and still look very feminine.

But your face probably tells a different story and you probably look every bit of 50 and then some. I'm sorry but I'm being honest. Thin women who are over the hill look OLD in the face. Like that actress once said there comes a time in a woman's life when she must choose between her face and her back side. I will choose my face when that time comes. Not there yet. I'm only 30.

I disagree. If the 50 year old has been fit her whole life, her face is likely lovely.

[Anonymous]

Well, I'm one of those super fit moms, and my husband is a decent 20 lbs overweight. It absolutely affects how I view him sexually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg, of course men will usually prefer a thin woman. Just like most women would prefer a fit guy. However life and love is about a lot more than the physical. And the majority of people gain weight as they get older. Men and women. And most fit people I know with kids have fluctuated a lot in their weight through the years. Because...life. If men are truly not attracted at all to a size 14 woman, then they shouldn't want to have kids with their wife, because there is a good chance she will be a size 14 at some point in their relationship.

I'm a size 12 right now, and my H says I am perfect, even though I was a size 6 when we met. I'm sure he would prefer I was a six 6 again, if he had a choice, but he seems pretty attracted to me as it is now. But a size is just a number too-- Size 14 looks very different on different women.

He is attracted to you because you are his wife and you are not a random woman. If you were a random woman without shared history of life and children, he would have preferred a thinner woman, as I'm sure you know. Do not conflate love for someone you know with esthetic preference between two unrelated women.

Anonymous wrote:
The saddest poster is the one who is disgusted with herself and thinks that self-acceptance and confidence when you are overweight is just deluding yourself. You are missing the point entirely. It's just that you and your value is so much more than the shell of your body. That's just one part of a whole. So a person can be aware they need to lose 30 pounds and still be confident and happy because there is so much more to life. So much more.

I'm the poster you've mentioned, and you're the one missing the point. This discussion isn't at all about your value as a human being, your self-worth, your accomplishments etc. This discussion is specifically about the body, one part of the whole. If a person is 30 pounds overweight, their attitude toward THEIR BODY, I don't know if I should add it as a disclaimer every time so you cannot avoid understanding, their attitude toward THEIR BODY should not be one of acceptance and confidence. If it is, it's just sloth talking, transforming fat into a crown that whispers "you're beautiful no matter what because. because you." People who see you don't see the crown, they just see 30 extra pounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ stylish older women have to be super skinny?

Hubba hubba

notice the covered face

You'll be lucky to look this way at seventy.

[Anonymous]

I'm a 14 and my husband can't get enough of me. I've lost a few pounds lately and he says he hopes I don't get too skinny. He's trim, military, perfect in my eyes. Some of us get lucky and find a great match.

[Anonymous]

Lotta threads about fat what's going on?

[Anonymous]

Google Helen Mirren in a dress and you'll see how trim she is. Look at her legs in the bikini picture and shut up about the extra weight already. Apart from the genetic blessing of tits, that woman is absolutely trim and skinny. Look at the collarbones for chrissakes.

[Anonymous]

Here is a more realistic photo of Mirren taken a few months after that red bikini one.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1090589/Lifes-beach-63-year-old-Helen-Mirren-shows-figure-swimsuit.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go look at statues of fertility goddesses and Aphrodites. They all have full thighs, bellies, butts. This American obsession with adult women looking like adolescent boys is insane. If you really want an adolescent boy, go get yourself one.

This is what fat women tell themselves to feel better about their poor lifestyle choices. A fit woman does not, at all, look like an adolescent boy. But sure, keep devouring those twinkies while you blame everyone else for their lack of good taste.

American men have distorted views because of the prevalence of fake boobs here. A size 2-4 with 34DD breasts is not the result of being fit. It's a surgical intervention. Go to other countries and look at the fit women. Almost always A cups.

I live in Eastern Europe and I can assure you this is not true. I know plenty of fit, slim women who are C and above. And I'm a fit woman who is a C cup, before you leap in to say I must be a man who doesn't know what he is looking at. The fresh foods and plenty of walking keep most women slim.

Western Europe as well: more walking or bicycling, less McDonalds. People in the US (and supposedly Britain) are fat.

IA with both PPs, actually.

While I see many women with larger boobs while visiting various European countries, the norm does tend to skew more to the A & B cup size, especially those in more metropolitan areas where a majority of transportation is walking or walking to public transpo. Outside of the cities is where you see the slightly larger women with larger cup sizes. My husband's grandmother lives in a country town in France and she and most women in her town are larger. Most of them also have cars. When we visit his cousins who live in and right outside of Paris, they are all much more thin and small-chested. They also do not really workout. I guarantee that most US women who look like them workout at least 3 days/week.

His relatives always gain at least 10 pounds when visiting us because we live in the suburbs and drive most places. They also love experiencing American restaurants and our portion sizes are so much larger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg, of course men will usually prefer a thin woman. Just like most women would prefer a fit guy. However life and love is about a lot more than the physical. And the majority of people gain weight as they get older. Men and women. And most fit people I know with kids have fluctuated a lot in their weight through the years. Because...life. If men are truly not attracted at all to a size 14 woman, then they shouldn't want to have kids with their wife, because there is a good chance she will be a size 14 at some point in their relationship.

I'm a size 12 right now, and my H says I am perfect, even though I was a size 6 when we met. I'm sure he would prefer I was a six 6 again, if he had a choice, but he seems pretty attracted to me as it is now. But a size is just a number too-- Size 14 looks very different on different women.

He is attracted to you because you are his wife and you are not a random woman. If you were a random woman without shared history of life and children, he would have preferred a thinner woman, as I'm sure you know. Do not conflate love for someone you know with esthetic preference between two unrelated women.

Anonymous wrote:
The saddest poster is the one who is disgusted with herself and thinks that self-acceptance and confidence when you are overweight is just deluding yourself. You are missing the point entirely. It's just that you and your value is so much more than the shell of your body. That's just one part of a whole. So a person can be aware they need to lose 30 pounds and still be confident and happy because there is so much more to life. So much more.

I'm the poster you've mentioned, and you're the one missing the point. This discussion isn't at all about your value as a human being, your self-worth, your accomplishments etc. This discussion is specifically about the body, one part of the whole. If a person is 30 pounds overweight, their attitude toward THEIR BODY, I don't know if I should add it as a disclaimer every time so you cannot avoid understanding, their attitude toward THEIR BODY should not be one of acceptance and confidence. If it is, it's just sloth talking, transforming fat into a crown that whispers "you're beautiful no matter what because. because you." People who see you don't see the crown, they just see 30 extra pounds.

YOU may only see those extra 30 pounds but I don't. I'm on the short/athletic side. My friends' weight doesn't impact how I 'see' them. I see the content of their character. I had a college roommate that was gorgeous. Over time, I saw how mean, vindictive and insecure she was. By the time she moved out, she looked really ugly even though her physical appearance didn't change. I've got another friend who's at least 60 lbs overweight. Every time I see her, I'm struck by how beautiful she is. She's non-judgmental, has kids with SN, a sorry excuse for a DH, doing amazing things with the hand she's been dealt. DH doesn't understand why she stays with the loser she's with. He knows a couple of single guys that would be interested in dating her. Meantime, my old college roommate has been through at least 3 husbands.......