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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Omg, of course men will usually prefer a thin woman.  Just like most women would prefer a fit guy.  However life and love is about a lot more than the physical.  And the majority of people gain weight as they get older. Men and women.  And most fit people I know with kids have fluctuated a lot in their weight through the years.  Because...life.  If men are truly not attracted at all to a size 14 woman, then they shouldn't want to have kids with their wife, because there is a good chance she will be a size 14 at some point in their relationship.

I'm a size 12 right now, and my H says I am perfect, even though I was a size 6 when we met.  I'm sure he would prefer I was a six 6 again, if he had a choice, but he seems pretty attracted to me as it is now.  But a size is just a number too-- Size 14 looks very different on different women.[/quote]

He is attracted to you because you are his wife and you are not a random woman.  If you were a random woman without shared history of life and children, he would have preferred a thinner woman, as I'm sure you know. Do not conflate love for someone you know with esthetic preference between two unrelated women.

[quote=Anonymous]
The saddest poster is the one who is disgusted with herself and thinks that self-acceptance and confidence when you are overweight is just deluding yourself.  You are missing the point entirely.  It's just that you and your value is so much more than the shell of your body.  That's just one part of a whole.  So a person can be aware they need to lose 30 pounds and still be confident and happy because there is so much more to life.  So much more.  [/quote]

I'm the poster you've mentioned, and you're the one missing the point. This discussion isn't at all about your value as a human being, your self-worth, your accomplishments etc. This discussion is specifically about the body, one part of the whole.  If a person is 30 pounds overweight, their attitude toward THEIR BODY, I don't know if I should add it as a disclaimer every time so you cannot avoid understanding[b], their attitude toward THEIR BODY should not be one of acceptance and confidence. If it is, it's just sloth talking, transforming fat into a crown that whispers "you're beautiful no matter what because. because you." People who see you don't see the crown, they just see 30 extra pounds.[/b] [/quote]

YOU may only see those extra 30 pounds but I don't.  I'm on the short/athletic side.  My friends' weight doesn't impact how I 'see' them.  I see the content of their character.  I had a college roommate that was gorgeous. Over time, I saw how mean, vindictive and insecure she was.  By the time she moved out, she looked really ugly even though her physical appearance didn't change.  I've got another friend who's at least 60 lbs overweight.  Every time I see her, I'm struck by how beautiful she is.  She's non-judgmental, has kids with SN, a sorry excuse for a DH, doing amazing things with the hand she's been dealt.  DH doesn't understand why she stays with the loser she's with.  He knows a couple of single guys that would be interested in dating her. Meantime, my old college roommate has been through at least 3 husbands....... [/quote]

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