Men, be honest, if your wife was fat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go look at statues of fertility goddesses and Aphrodites. They all have full thighs, bellies, butts. This American obsession with adult women looking like adolescent boys is insane. If you really want an adolescent boy, go get yourself one.

Overweight was a sign of prosperity because the wives of the wealthy held down couches with their butts back then. Poor people did not get sculpted or painted because no one was buying paintings of their poor wife. But if this helps you feel better about being part of the new overweight average good for you.

I studied art history which meant for a couple years I was doing nothing but looking at artwork from throughout the ages, including sculptures and portraits of people.

The ideal female form was never close to what we'd call overweight, let a lone fat. For most of human history, by the standards of the time today's version of average or even ideal weight would have been the overweight people of the time. Did fat people exist? Yes. And they were often portrayed unflattering in the artwork of the time, often as symbolism of gluttony. Judging from the portraits throughout the centuries (who were almost always well off people) the upper classes ate well but were also, by today's standards, trim.

I will say, however, that today's extreme focus on thinness and turning women into boys with boobs is the novelty when measured against the ages. As a professor once said in a lecture that touched on similar themes, the ironic byproduct of the feminist age is that it has turned women into men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes they are my kids. 3 in total but is that really any excuse for looking like a pig?

Lovely way to talk about the mother of your children.
Post your picture for comparison.

Like it or not, I can go to any public place right now, and point to more than one mom who is a fat pig. As the PP said, there's no excuse for it.

I mean, ditto for a gross huge dude...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes they are my kids. 3 in total but is that really any excuse for looking like a pig?

First of all, from what you're saying if she'd always been thin (even after 3 kids) and then something Sud dealt changed only a couple y area ago, I'm inclined to think something else is going on. Something physically or mentally, that is - depression?

Second, the way you talk about your own kids is callous and weird, and can't help but make everyone here wonder if you / your attitude might be a big part of the problem with why she's so unhappy. Does that resonate ?

[Anonymous]

I am a size 14. My husband seems plenty attracted to me. We have invited other men into our bedroom before, and they seem plenty attracted too. So, I guess it’s possible to still be attracted to your wife despite weight gain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds like an @ss.

Why? OP asked a question. OP is female.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes they are my kids. 3 in total but is that really any excuse for looking like a pig?

First of all, from what you're saying if she'd always been thin (even after 3 kids) and then something Sud dealt changed only a couple y area ago, I'm inclined to think something else is going on. Something physically or mentally, that is - depression?

Second, the way you talk about your own kids is callous and weird, and can't help but make everyone here wonder if you / your attitude might be a big part of the problem with why she's so unhappy. Does that resonate ?

I challenge you to show me where I spoke "callously" about my kids? I love my kids and would never speak badly about them. I love my wife too but she is fat, there's no getting around it. It is what it is. Shes still the same person I married just A LOT MORE of her and not sexually pleasing in any way.

When we married I was 235 and athletic build. Im now 220 with less muscle and a bit of a beer belly (dad bod)

[Anonymous]

I was a size 14 when I met DH. Big butt and breasts but a tiny waist. He liked it. I’m actually smaller now 20 years later after 2 kids but I think my body was better, or at least tighter and curvier, back then.

[Anonymous]

I am 5'3" and 135 lbs. I am not skinny and I would actually look and feel a lot better if I dropped 10 lbs. My DH does not mention my weight but he and I both would be happier if those 10 lbs came off.

No. Fat is not attractive but neither is being anorexic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go look at statues of fertility goddesses and Aphrodites. They all have full thighs, bellies, butts. This American obsession with adult women looking like adolescent boys is insane. If you really want an adolescent boy, go get yourself one.

Overweight was a sign of prosperity because the wives of the wealthy held down couches with their butts back then. Poor people did not get sculpted or painted because no one was buying paintings of their poor wife. But if this helps you feel better about being part of the new overweight average good for you.

I studied art history which meant for a couple years I was doing nothing but looking at artwork from throughout the ages, including sculptures and portraits of people.

The ideal female form was never close to what we'd call overweight, let a lone fat. For most of human history, by the standards of the time today's version of average or even ideal weight would have been the overweight people of the time. Did fat people exist? Yes. And they were often portrayed unflattering in the artwork of the time, often as symbolism of gluttony. Judging from the portraits throughout the centuries (who were almost always well off people) the upper classes ate well but were also, by today's standards, trim.

I will say, however, that today's extreme focus on thinness and turning women into boys with boobs is the novelty when measured against the ages. As a professor once said in a lecture that touched on similar themes, the ironic byproduct of the feminist age is that it has turned women into men.

The suggestion (by a professor no less!) that feminism is somehow responsible for the current beauty ideal of extremely thin women without curves is a laughable one. Maybe you could tie an athletic, buff female body to feminist ideals. But the tall emaciated women walking down the runway? Sorry honey, that's not the fault of the "feminist age," that's a complicated mix of capitalism, gay men running the fashion industry, the obesity epidemic, changing demographic trends, and other factors.

[Anonymous]

My dh married me at size 16, and I'm 5'10", so he's still pretty happy. He doesn't like bony women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dh married me at size 16, and I'm 5'10", so he's still pretty happy. He doesn't like bony women.

Huuuuuuuge difference and range between size 16 and "bony". Smh.

[Anonymous]

When I met my wife, she was very fit. 20 years later, she has had a host of medical issues, including transplants that required her to be on steroids for an extended period of time. Many of the medications she was on (at one point she was on 14 different medications) played havok with her metabolism and weight. Then she had a number of issues that have limited her exercise including hip problems, plantar fasciitis and wrist problems. Her weight has gone up a lot in especially in the last 4-5 years.

And she's still the princess that I married. In my mind, she is still the knock out from our wedding day. And that's not going to change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife is 5'2" 215 lbs. I still bang her because, well I need to get laid. But she is no longer visually appealing to me in the least. I have offered her a new wardrobe and nice vacation if she can lose 100 lbs but still cant get motivated to not look like a cow.

What was she when you met? When did it change?

When we met she was between 105 and 110. Shes had a few kids but always shed the weight. In the last three years shes become complacent and has ballooned to where she is now.

Yikes.
I am 5’2” and I was anorexic at 97lbs. Size 0.
I got healthy and had two kids. I’m 140lbs now. I battle my mind everyday to not revert back to starving myself. Because it would be so easy to do...

I'm happy you got healthy.

I am currently struggling with this and my DH said he would give anything if I were fat.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Size 14
Would you still be sexually attracted to her?

How tall? Size 14 is not fat for many women.

5feet 7 inches

I am 5'7" a size 14 and I am within the weight suggested as healthy by my doctor. i walk 15000+ steps a day, I average 30 flights of stairs a day, I bycycle 40 minutes 4 times a week. I have very healthy.

A healthy weight at 5'7" would be under 155lbs. I doubt you are a size 14 at that weight and height.

Agree. I'm 5'7, 145 size 8. To be a 14, I'd likely weigh 180+

I was 5'9" 138 and I wore size 10, now I am 155 and wear a 12.

Do you work out? Im at the gym 6 days a week and am the same height and weight and am an 8 and this is me slightly bigger due to a knee injury that mow keeps me from running.. 12s would fall off my body. When I was at my absolute peak of physical fitness, counting macros and doinh 2 a days, I gained weight and lost inches.

I have always been like this. The women in the store will bring me a size 6 when they want me to try something on and they are flabbergasted when they find out I am a 10/12.

I am much thinner than my friend and when we try to borrow clothes it's a no go.

I have size 10 feet and I can't wear women's gloves. Never could.

I run 3 times a week, do Bikram Yoga 2x a week. I do pushups/planks/lunges/weights after my run.

When I was size 10 I was a college athlete - basketball.

I don't actually want to lose weight or inches. That is the thing, I look great.

Cindy Crawford was a size 10.

I am 5’8” and 140 and wear sizes 6 - 12. The other days the sales girl at Lulu was bringing me 8s and was incredulous that I ended up with the 12. I have big hips and tiny shoulders

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dh married me at size 16, and I'm 5'10", so he's still pretty happy. He doesn't like bony women.

Obviously your DH likes a larger women. Some men are like that, and will happily date and marry a size 16. Good for you both!

But the subject thread does not really apply to you. The topic is about weight GAINED after marriage. That's entirely different, given that the initial attraction was based on a smaller size, and most men who like smaller sizes are not attracted to Size 16 (otherwise they'd have dated/married as Size 16).