Conservative Writer Pens Essay Telling Women To ‘Stay In Shape For Their Husbands’

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Check your BMI here. No more lies or BS about being "big boned" or "full figured." There are countless DCUM threads about this. DHs -- make more money and communicate more. DWs -- talk/complain less, have more sex, and have a BMI <25 (in the normal/healthy zone): https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmicalc.htm

Wow. I'm a lot skinnier than I thought. Time to go eat some ice cream! Thanks PP!

My H was so pissed when my BMI was smack dab in the middle and he was overweight.

Why are men so often delusional about their own weight? It's like take all female weight insecurities and reverse it to men- they could be 50 pounds overweight and think they have a Baywatch bod

Hahaha UGH so true.

I agree with the premise of the article, but it really goes both ways much more than the article indicates. My husband is out of shape and I'm sorry but try as I might a soft, flabby, weak body just doesn't do it for me. It's not hot

Yes!! I think that's why the tone of the article truly annoys me and so many other women. She says several times that women don't care about their husband's bodies, and are much concerned with money/power. Beyond how insulting that is, it's simply... not true. I have never dated anyone I've found physically unattractive, and I think it's unfortunate how female desire keeps being made to be about things beyond looks, like we're supposed to be these martyrs. Newsflash: women don't ogle Chris Hemsworth because of his bank account!

I don't think I would have an issue with her saying, you need to stay attractive for your spouse. Fine. But then if that's the deal it has to go for both parties. I'm not passing on the ice cream and slaving at the gym while my husband grows out a dad bod. It's simply unfair, and it forces female desire and sexual attraction to, once again, take a backseat to the male perspective.

Guy here. I agree with this completely. Both spouses should be fit and a spouse souldn't expect something that they are not willing to provide themselves.

Women are attracted to fit, strong bodies just the same as men are. I've never seen a romance novel with a fat guy on the cover.

I would argue even more so. There are lots of men who are attracted to curvy women, thin women, fit women- a variety. Extra fat on a woman can make her boobs larger and hips wider, butt bigger, etc. But there's pretty much one standard of beauty that has existed for me since the beginning of time: muscularity. There can be something really attractive about an extra 20 pounds of well placed fat on a lady- but extra fat on a dude- it's just zero benefit. Not to be mean, just thinking about the psychology of sexual attraction (and speaking as a bisexual woman and what I'm attracted to in both sexes)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with her a 100% and I am a woman who considers herself a feminist. I think the push towards this modern gender-less society is not making anyone happy. Men have had their balls taken away from them by criticizing and demonizing every masculine trait. Women are now miserable expected to work long hours, make money AND have a husband and children. This is diplopia.

Women need love and attention and care. They are delicate creatures and they need to be kept well maintained. Look at Arab or Persian women. Thats how a woman is supposed to look. Their husbands keep them flush with money and comfort.

This is where men come in too. They need to go back to being primary breadwinners and take on the hard job of earning a living.

I'm married to an Arab and your comment comes from cosmic stupidity. Like so many before you, you look at the stereotype of Arab and Persian women and think that's what the reality looks like. The reality looks like this: some of the world's highest rates of obesity and diabetes are found in the Arab world among women. Some of the world's most crushing poverty is also found in the Arab countries. Exercise for women is still culturally inappropriate in much of the Arab world. Who do you think keeps the begging women on the streets of Mecca, the women working the fields in Yemen, the women scratching out their existence in Lebanon's villages flush with money and comfort?

Idiot. Complete, unadulterated idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay then my husband should work towards making more money so I can quit my job and devote more time to my physical appearance (shudder).

If you have to quit your job in order to stay fit, then you aren't really interested in staying fit. A poor diet and lack of exercise isn't dependent on your work status.

Diet yes, exercise no. You have to eat but you don't have to exercise. Exercise requires time and trading.

[Anonymous]

this article is kind of dumb and has nothing to do with feminism. I am a hard core liberal and feminist and I always take care of myself. And yes I work full time and have a kid and husband and friends and hobbies. Honestly a healthy dose of vanity is a good thing. I hit up crossfire before work today and I feel great. My husband on the other hand is the issue and he definitely needs to drop 50lbs. I am from the south and its just kid of a given that UMC women keep their shit together. I don't get the women on this board who think they have to quit their job and spend thousands of dollars to not look like sweat pant slobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay then my husband should work towards making more money so I can quit my job and devote more time to my physical appearance (shudder).

If you have to quit your job in order to stay fit, then you aren't really interested in staying fit. A poor diet and lack of exercise isn't dependent on your work status.

Truly looking your best would be a full time job. Think of how movie stars look- that's possible when your main daily task is making yourself hot. Hence, husbands should make the moolah so all women can look truly hot, I guess. Great logic in the article

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:this article is kind of dumb and has nothing to do with feminism. I am a hard core liberal and feminist and I always take care of myself. And yes I work full time and have a kid and husband and friends and hobbies. Honestly a healthy dose of vanity is a good thing. I hit up crossfire before work today and I feel great. My husband on the other hand is the issue and he definitely needs to drop 50lbs. I am from the south and its just kid of a given that UMC women keep their shit together. I don't get the women on this board who think they have to quit their job and spend thousands of dollars to not look like sweat pant slobs.

Sounds like you're married to a (fat) sweatpants slob so I doubt anyone would take advice from you. Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, so here is what the writer writes:

"Instead, try shifting your appearance a notch or two up your priorities list. Cultivate an active lifestyle or carve out the time to work out regularly, and curb your caloric indulgences. Wear clothes that flatter you instead of those that are just easiest to reach for. Even in the busiest of schedules, find the five minutes to put on a little lipstick or a spritz of the perfume you used back when the two of you were dating. He’ll appreciate you making the effort."

This is... pretty basic. See, despite the accusations of DC women being "frumpy" I see the majority of women in this area doing this.

Do you know where women look terrible? Out in Trump-land. I go back home and most of the women are obese, wearing camo or ill-fitting t-shirts or pajamas or mom jeans for obese women. No make-up, hair looking awful, grey, frizzy. Women in my neighborhood look more put together even when they are out doing yard work. I wish that I were exaggerating.

That's true. I'm from the Midwest and have lived here 5 years and I'm constantly impressed by how most people here seem to be a normal/healthy weight. Just walking around the grocery stores or playgrounds you see it. Then in Indiana, Ohio, and PA it's obesity everywhere. But the men are all obese too, so it's hardly just women letting themselves go while the men all have ideal weights and suffer quietly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm on my second marriage and have been married to both.

My first wife put on 50-60 lbs. We never had kids, eating healthy and working out just wasn't her thing. I never asked her to change but I definitely tried to get her to participate with me in working out and doing more active things. Even though I never said anything it definitely impacted our relationship. I just wasn't attracted to her and didn't look at her. In fact, one time on vacation she even commented that we'd been there all week and I hadn't taken one picture of her. I felt terrible. Ultimately, she ended up having multiple affairs which led to our divorce.

Fast forward and I've been married for 14 years to a wonderful woman who is also really into staying fit. I couldn't possibly be more attracted to her. We snuggle every night when we go to bed and hug every morning before our showers. I also feel like we set a good example for our son for a healthy sustainable lifestyle and relationship.

Sometimes women subconsciously put on weight to purposefully make themselves unattractive. If she was having affairs it sounds like she just was done with you.

It sounds like you are both happier now.

[Anonymous]

"feminist ideology has given us ladies license to give our husbands the worst of ourselves, and to feel “empowered” by giving those we ostensibly love the most the least effort"

Ummm WTH is she talking about?! We must have read different feminist manifestos...

My version of feminism means I take care of myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm on my second marriage and have been married to both.

My first wife put on 50-60 lbs. We never had kids, eating healthy and working out just wasn't her thing. I never asked her to change but I definitely tried to get her to participate with me in working out and doing more active things. Even though I never said anything it definitely impacted our relationship. I just wasn't attracted to her and didn't look at her. In fact, one time on vacation she even commented that we'd been there all week and I hadn't taken one picture of her. I felt terrible. Ultimately, she ended up having multiple affairs which led to our divorce.

Fast forward and I've been married for 14 years to a wonderful woman who is also really into staying fit. I couldn't possibly be more attracted to her. We snuggle every night when we go to bed and hug every morning before our showers. I also feel like we set a good example for our son for a healthy sustainable lifestyle and relationship.

Sometimes women subconsciously put on weight to purposefully make themselves unattractive. If she was having affairs it sounds like she just was done with you.

It sounds like you are both happier now.

+1

And who would blame her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm on my second marriage and have been married to both.

My first wife put on 50-60 lbs. We never had kids, eating healthy and working out just wasn't her thing. I never asked her to change but I definitely tried to get her to participate with me in working out and doing more active things. Even though I never said anything it definitely impacted our relationship. I just wasn't attracted to her and didn't look at her. In fact, one time on vacation she even commented that we'd been there all week and I hadn't taken one picture of her. I felt terrible. Ultimately, she ended up having multiple affairs which led to our divorce.

Fast forward and I've been married for 14 years to a wonderful woman who is also really into staying fit. I couldn't possibly be more attracted to her. We snuggle every night when we go to bed and hug every morning before our showers. I also feel like we set a good example for our son for a healthy sustainable lifestyle and relationship.

Sometimes women subconsciously put on weight to purposefully make themselves unattractive. If she was having affairs it sounds like she just was done with you.

It sounds like you are both happier now.

I think she just wasn't happy and didn't have the guts to get out because we had been together for so long. I'm certainly happier and dearly love my wife. I think the ex is remarried and I hope she's happy as well.

[Anonymous]

Obviously, this writer has not read the thread about how men actually prefer fat women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"feminist ideology has given us ladies license to give our husbands the worst of ourselves, and to feel “empowered” by giving those we ostensibly love the most the least effort"

Ummm WTH is she talking about?! We must have read different feminist manifestos...

My version of feminism means I take care of myself.

She was saying that some feminists interpret "I take care of myself" to mean that "I won't do anything to make my partner happy unless I damned well please"
Good relationships don't work that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obviously, this writer has not read the thread about how men actually prefer fat women.

Prefer? Or don't have a choice?

[Anonymous]

Hmm...this has been a pretty low priority for me. I have five children under ten. They obviously don't care how I look. I work as a psychiatrist in a community mental health clinic. My patients have serious mental illness and don't much care how I look. So I don't think about it much.
It hadn't really occurred to me that this might be a big deal to my husband. He seems to want to have sex with me often enough. I will have to ask him.