Am separating from closeted gay husband. What and how to tell 20 year old daughter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you out someone you THINK is gay with no ACTUAL proof you are a horrible human being

Why ? Who cares if he is gay ? On another thread a woman walked on her husband because he said mean things about her cooking ability and she is a hero.

If you don't care if he is gay or not, then stay with him.

It is not your place to out someone. Ever. It is definitely not your place to out someone when you don't even know if it is true.

If you can't see that - well, obv previous comment about bad person applies to you.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand all the comments about not knowing if it's true. This isn't rocket science. You can tell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand all the comments about not knowing if it's true. This isn't rocket science. You can tell.

Yes, it's obvious 100% of the time. But not so obvious that OP would have noticed during the first gazillions years of their marriage.

You sound very sheltered.

[Anonymous]

If it is so obvious that he is gay then Op had 20 years to leave this guy but chose not to. Bottom line is, they are not separating because he is/is not gay.

If Op had caught her husband going to gay dating sites or if her husband was leaving her to run off with Bob that would be one thing. But that isn't the case.

Op, it is human nature to want to lay the blame for a break up at the feet of the person you are breaking up with. But in your case, I think it's more truthful to say that you are breaking up because you are incompatible, not really enjoying being with each other anymore. Let your daughter process that - that is enough for her to process right now. And if your dh ever actually starts dating men he can talk to her about that.

[Anonymous]

OP, to tell your daughter something to make her think her father is a traitorous jerk when you have no proof but your own inkling is a serious douchebag move. I hope if you go this route, your daughter sees you for the manipulative jerk you are and chooses to stay with her father over you c

[Anonymous]

OP said she needs to tell her daughter that dad is gay so that she doesn't marry a closeted gay man and have a life of pain instead of joy.

Wow.

Because the only way to avoid that situation in this day and age when the closet is so much more rare is to tell her.

If OP's statements about her own life are truthful, then knowing your dad was gay doesn't help much, does it?

OP's story about all of the red flags before the wedding - including the gross detail about smelly private parts-- cast doubt on her statement that her spouse deceived her.

This is about OP's issues. Which are deep and discurbomg.

OP, get therapy. It probably won't work but it'll keep you busy and out of trouble for an hour a week.