Who should pay for a date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this conversation is pathetic. Women have fought for years for equal rights including equal pay. Many women on this board complain about how men expect sex. It's hypocritical for women to expect men to pay for all dates or even all first dates. I'm in my mid 40's and have been dating post divorce for almost two years. On a first date I always offer to split it. If I like him and plan to go out with him again I'll let him pay if he offers. But I will then pick up the tab for the 2nd date. A few men I've dated insisted on always paying which I actually did not appreciate and for these men it generally turned out that their income or wealth was all they were bringing to the table. If I want to earn as much as a man for equal work, I should be willing to share the cost of dating.

Spot on.

What I also find telling is women here attacking him because they assume he has little or no income because of 20 dollars. You people know nothing about him. What we do know, date was lousy, she initiated contact with him after and said it was her being nervous, then got butthurt about the 20 bucks.

If it's only 20 then she should have no problems paying it herself. All these assumptions about wouldn't walk date to the car, he has a terrible job just go to show you're not open minded at all and jump to assumptions. The lot of you are pathetic really. I hope for OPs sake he never meets any of you because you give other women in this area a bad name

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I strongly believe the man should pay for the first few dates. I always offer to pay half regardless of my expectation, but no one has ever allowed me to do so. After the first few dates, both should be paying. It is kind of ridiculous to always expect the guy to pay for everything, especially if you both are hardworking adults. The men I dated and been in relationships with have always noted they respected me moe for picking up tabs on subsequent dates.

You contractor yourself! If men are paying for the first few dates, that can add up quite a bit. If you go out with a lot of different men just 2 or 3 times, you are getting a lot of free meals. Equal pay, equal pay!

I didn't contradict myself. His paying means to me he is interested and can provide. And who said anything about free meals? I said I always offer to pay for half.

Like the OPs date did. Then she got angry when he said ok. Can't have it both ways sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So let's say you meet someone online...then you both agree to go out and so you do.
Now, it'e bill time. I'm a male, date didn't go well. I had no connection, was bored didn't like her personality. So the check comes, she said "let's pay for our portion" and kinda does the whole alligator arms thing. I'm like okay...you owe 20 bucks.

She seemed shocked. But she paid, we left and I went up to meet friends because frankly the date sucked.

I get a message the next day about how she was nervous and apologized. I figure sure, nerves take over sometimes, let's try this again. But she mentioned she was a little shocked I actually made her pay for her portion and that guys usually pick up the check. No second date lady. First off, date sucked. Second, pay for your own stuff. Third, self entitlement is a turn-off.

I asked a few friends (male and female) but got mixed responses.

This is rich, because you sound so incredibly entitled and assholey.

Hope this woman reads this and thanks her lucky stars. She dodged a major bullet.

PSA to straight women: this is a GREAT way to filter out the losers. Tells you everything you need to know right up front.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the date sucked what does it matter? You didn't want to impress her.

If you are on a date that is going really well I recommend paying because it will set a good tone. If date offers to split go with it.

OP here. If I was into her it would have been different. I honestly don't care to see her again.

So why did you say you'd have given it another shot after she messaged you after the date, except that she brought up the splitting the bill thing?

+1

Then she called him out for being cheap and OP didn't like that. So now all of a sudden he's "totally over it and doesnt care". And posting all about it on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

BE_Jack wrote:I always pay on the date, even if it didn't go well. Chivalry isn't dead people.

Isn't that like Man 101, lol. Every guy should know this.

+1

If a man asked me to pay on a date I think I would laugh and walk out. Like seriously... get a fucking clue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - you're bitching about $20. It does sound like you should get out of the dating game for a bit and get a better job.

+1

[Anonymous]

]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So let's say you meet someone online...then you both agree to go out and so you do.
Now, it'e bill time. I'm a male, date didn't go well. I had no connection, was bored didn't like her personality. So the check comes, she said "let's pay for our portion" and kinda does the whole alligator arms thing. I'm like okay...you owe 20 bucks.

She seemed shocked. But she paid, we left and I went up to meet friends because frankly the date sucked.

I get a message the next day about how she was nervous and apologized. I figure sure, nerves take over sometimes, let's try this again. But she mentioned she was a little shocked I actually made her pay for her portion and that guys usually pick up the check. No second date lady. First off, date sucked. Second, pay for your own stuff. Third, self entitlement is a turn-off.

I asked a few friends (male and female) but got mixed responses.

Her part was $20 and you made her pay?! You suck. I'd be embarrassed to ask for $20. I'm a waitress, I would pay for both of you 2 the hell out of my section. I could get my table back and maybe have people there who will cough up a payment card or cash and won't sit there fighting about it and playing alligator.
It can't be about money. She offered to pay her share, which is nice really and fair and you can't see that it's only $20?!
If you both need money, we are hiring all the time.

LOL THIS!!!

Op maybe you can get a job at her restaurant. You may not be able to start as a server but you can maybe start as janitor or busboy and work your way up... save your money and one day you can take a girl out on a real, live date!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Notice in a restaurant the server almost always puts the bill by the man? There's a reason for that, it's call social norms. Men have expectations of women, women have the same.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have told him I'll leave the tip, he's paying the bill.

I'd tell you thanks, but pay for your own meal. Tip is up to you. Then tell the server to split it. Done...

I'd tell you no problem. Excuse to go to restroom, out the door and home never to talk to your CHEAP ass again!

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have told him I'll leave the tip, he's paying the bill.

I'd tell you thanks, but pay for your own meal. Tip is up to you. Then tell the server to split it. Done...

I'd tell you no problem. Excuse to go to restroom, out the door and home never to talk to your CHEAP ass again!

Sweet, when the waiter looks for the bill, I'll give him you name and leave

Yeah but they'll be long gone. You'll be stuck with it as should be.

LOL I love this thread and whoever posted this! Awesome!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People that lack manners show their class and lack of up bringing. Like letting the woman go first in the restaurant when being shown to your table. Pulling out her chair, opening the car door. If you don't know about picking up the tab, you shouldn't be dating and need to be in Manners class 101.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I strongly believe the man should pay for the first few dates. I always offer to pay half regardless of my expectation, but no one has ever allowed me to do so. After the first few dates, both should be paying. It is kind of ridiculous to always expect the guy to pay for everything, especially if you both are hardworking adults. The men I dated and been in relationships with have always noted they respected me moe for picking up tabs on subsequent dates.

You contractor yourself! If men are paying for the first few dates, that can add up quite a bit. If you go out with a lot of different men just 2 or 3 times, you are getting a lot of free meals. Equal pay, equal pay!

I didn't contradict myself. His paying means to me he is interested and can provide. And who said anything about free meals? I said I always offer to pay for half.

Like the OPs date did. Then she got angry when he said ok. Can't have it both ways sister.

Chivalry is the original feminism. As a rabid feminist I will take a man who pays for me and is kind, conscientious, and thoughtful ANY DAY over the whiny man babies that love to gloat over "equal is equal"- meanwhile, it's not equal, and the wage gap still exists!

When patriarchy is defeated and the wage gap is flipped- trust me, I will GLADY pay for my hot little piece to eat out. Until then, the man needs to pay. You dont like it? Campaign for women to be treated equally- campaign for less rape, fixing the wage gap, less discrimination against women in business settings, etc. Settled.

[Anonymous]

Her share was $20!!!
Really, the OP is going to allow this debate over $20.00?
Who the hell cares! Pay the bill, leave and move on with your life.

-as a side note I can't believe OP considered, for even a moment, a 2nd date.

He's a loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I strongly believe the man should pay for the first few dates. I always offer to pay half regardless of my expectation, but no one has ever allowed me to do so. After the first few dates, both should be paying. It is kind of ridiculous to always expect the guy to pay for everything, especially if you both are hardworking adults. The men I dated and been in relationships with have always noted they respected me moe for picking up tabs on subsequent dates.

You contractor yourself! If men are paying for the first few dates, that can add up quite a bit. If you go out with a lot of different men just 2 or 3 times, you are getting a lot of free meals. Equal pay, equal pay!

I didn't contradict myself. His paying means to me he is interested and can provide. And who said anything about free meals? I said I always offer to pay for half.

Like the OPs date did. Then she got angry when he said ok. Can't have it both ways sister.

Chivalry is the original feminism. As a rabid feminist I will take a man who pays for me and is kind, conscientious, and thoughtful ANY DAY over the whiny man babies that love to gloat over "equal is equal"- meanwhile, it's not equal, and the wage gap still exists!

When patriarchy is defeated and the wage gap is flipped- trust me, I will GLADY pay for my hot little piece to eat out. Until then, the man needs to pay. You dont like it? Campaign for women to be treated equally- campaign for less rape, fixing the wage gap, less discrimination against women in business settings, etc. Settled.

You're unhinged. I hope there isn't a man se earless enough to date you, if there is I pity him

[Anonymous]

Did OP answer why he thinks quality of the date is a factor in who pays the bill? If you get laid, then are you expected to pay for dinner? C'mon, that whole idea is BS.