Who should pay for a date?

[Anonymous]

Female here. I always offer to split and I've had mixed responses.. I'd say 75% of guys insist on paying after I offer, and 25% say okay great and we each just throw in our cards.

I'm with another PP.. I'm uncomfortable with not paying half.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Inviter pays.

PP, kind of heard to say who the inviter was, it was online and both agreed.
I feel she should pay her portion. Especially since the date sucked.

The quality of the date is irrelevant. Who was the person who asked who? Who typed,"So can we meet for dinner next week?" That person pays.

No, not with online dating. Someone asks some out, they're like no, but I can do this time instead...so no the inviter becomes the invitee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So let's say you meet someone online...then you both agree to go out and so you do.
Now, it'e bill time. I'm a male, date didn't go well. I had no connection, was bored didn't like her personality. So the check comes, she said "let's pay for our portion" and kinda does the whole alligator arms thing. I'm like okay...you owe 20 bucks.

She seemed shocked. But she paid, we left and I went up to meet friends because frankly the date sucked.

I get a message the next day about how she was nervous and apologized. I figure sure, nerves take over sometimes, let's try this again. But she mentioned she was a little shocked I actually made her pay for her portion and that guys usually pick up the check. No second date lady. First off, date sucked. Second, pay for your own stuff. Third, self entitlement is a turn-off.

I asked a few friends (male and female) but got mixed responses.

What is this? Can't picture it.

there is a commercial with your arms are too short to reach the check

https://www.ispot.tv/ad/A1vW/geico-alligator-arms-its-what-you-do?fb_comment_id=447058232085562_449160645208654

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Female here. I always offer to split and I've had mixed responses.. I'd say 75% of guys insist on paying after I offer, and 25% say okay great and we each just throw in our cards.

I'm with another PP.. I'm uncomfortable with not paying half.

I wouldn't even request she pay half, just what she had

[Anonymous]

Whoever invites, pays. I'm female. My husband only let me pay once or twice.

[Anonymous]

Man pays. But in online dating, it's totally appropriate for the first date to meet for coffee or a drink.

[Anonymous]

People should pay their portion. Women say who invited who...that's bullcrap. Men initiate dates like 95% of the time. OP, you dodged a billet and saved 20 bucks. Self entitlement is an ugly quality

[Anonymous]

I think the inviter should expect to pay. I (woman) always offered to pay half. Only taken up on it once.

[Anonymous]

I tend to agree that at a first meeting, you should just meet for coffee or drinks. Each should pay their own, but the cost is so low that it doesn't hurt to pay for both.

On a first dinner date, I tend to believe that the asker should offer to pay for the whole check. Whether you are a man or a woman, if someone offers to pick up the check -- you should offer to pay your portion (or half, if it is really close). In my experience, most men decline for me to pay my portion.

After the first date, I will always offer to pick up the check at least every other date. Usually men are comfortable with switching back and forth after a few dates. If the guy is a big income earner or very traditional, they will typically insist on paying each time (that is not necessary at all, but if they are inclined to do so, I let them).

I don't think anyone is obligated to pay for another person --ever. If you ask someone out on a first date and you want to go dutch, I think it's best to make that clear before anyone orders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Online dating... each person should pay, it 's more like an interview not a date
Somebody knows somebody and asks them out... the person who asked should pay...

I don't like that all the financial obligation is on the man. I will offer to pay, offer to pay the tip, offer to buy a drink.

I think women need to step it up in the paying category.

Jeez, only one poster suggested the man pay. everyone else said whoever asks, pays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People should pay their portion. Women say who invited who...that's bullcrap. Men initiate dates like 95% of the time. OP, you dodged a billet and saved 20 bucks. Self entitlement is an ugly quality

Not true in online dating. It is more evenly distributed. once you're chatting online for a bit - either party can say "hey, why don't we meet for a drink/coffee?"

[Anonymous]

I don't mind paying for my own meal if the date sucked and I have no plans to see a guy ever again. I'm not sure I would go on a second date with a man who made me pay for my own meal though.

[Anonymous]

Bro, you should have just paid and then sent her a Venmo request.
http://www.newyorker.com/culture/cultural-comment/the-venmo-request-a-new-wrinkle-in-modern-dating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So let's say you meet someone online...then you both agree to go out and so you do.
Now, it'e bill time. I'm a male, date didn't go well. I had no connection, was bored didn't like her personality. So the check comes, she said "let's pay for our portion" and kinda does the whole alligator arms thing. I'm like okay...you owe 20 bucks.

She seemed shocked. But she paid, we left and I went up to meet friends because frankly the date sucked.

I get a message the next day about how she was nervous and apologized. I figure sure, nerves take over sometimes, let's try this again. But she mentioned she was a little shocked I actually made her pay for her portion and that guys usually pick up the check. No second date lady. First off, date sucked. Second, pay for your own stuff. Third, self entitlement is a turn-off.

I asked a few friends (male and female) but got mixed responses.

I wouldn't have messaged you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Female here. I always offer to split and I've had mixed responses.. I'd say 75% of guys insist on paying after I offer, and 25% say okay great and we each just throw in our cards.

I'm with another PP.. I'm uncomfortable with not paying half.

I always offer to split as well, though I only had one guy ever take me up on it! For the record I married him