Should I tell my wife that I got the OW pregnant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'll explain everything to her when she's older. I had an affair and fell in love with another woman. Am I really that terrible?

yes

Your dd will most likely be doomed to choose other men who only can cheat.
The chances of you being faithful to the OW are slim to none too.

What a crock of bull. I'm amused people actually believe this nonsense

OP, don't tell your wife. Tell your lawyer. Mary OW if you want to. Support the child either way. Y'all will be okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was your wife pregnant when you got married? You mentioned that you got married because you both wanted to start a family....

No, she got pregnant a few months after we got married.

[Anonymous]

OP, before you can do right by the 4 people you are hurting (DW, DD, OW, and baby), you need intensive therapy. When my brother considered an affair, he did a one week men's only retreat with group and individual sessions. Some men were able to avoid temptation. Others found the courage to leave in a way that minimized harming the women and children involved.

[Anonymous]

Shared legal is fine. 50/50 in a household with AP is not good. You have two possible scenarios:

1) AP resents that she just aborted her child to help you out. Do you think she will give a damn about being a nurturing stepmother for your DD.

Or

2) AP doesn't give a damn about aborting her own child. Why would she care about the child of her romantic rival?

If you want joint physical, don't marry OW or cohabitate for at least a year. You need to see how she's going to treat your vulnerable toddler. A three year old can't even full express some of the crap an angry or cold-hearted non-relative might pull.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shared legal is fine. 50/50 in a household with AP is not good. You have two possible scenarios:

1) AP resents that she just aborted her child to help you out. Do you think she will give a damn about being a nurturing stepmother for your DD.

Or

2) AP doesn't give a damn about aborting her own child. Why would she care about the child of her romantic rival?

If you want joint physical, don't marry OW or cohabitate for at least a year. You need to see how she's going to treat your vulnerable toddler. A three year old can't even full express some of the crap an angry or cold-hearted non-relative might pull.

Except OW doesn't want to abort the baby, which OP said somewhere around page 2. So what are you on about?

OP this all sounds a mess, but forget all this stuff about your toddler growing up hating you and so on. That isn't always the case. Many of the people here are weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not an OW and my parents' marriage was destroyed by my dad's cheating, but I think it is sad that everyone thinks OW should have to have an abortion. It's like they want to punish her.

I don't get that. She's the victim just like my wife.

Umm no she lied about being on the pill didn't she?

Not Op but I wouldn't assume that. As much as women around here get pregnant because they were using the pill incorrectly, I think it's quite possible this woman did the same.

Smart women know how double up BC if they do not a child. Example, the women takes the pill and the man uses a condom. Simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP were you really expecting anything but to get skewered on here? I mean, your wife could have been the laziest bitch ever and flat-out mean to you and your kid with your wife, but now she is Saint Cheated-Upon who can do no wrong -- and be assured her attorney is going to paint her as such.

With that said, your wife can't control what you're doing if you have moved out/been separated. While the timing is not ideal (heh), and she will fume, she can't really stop you.

But it's going to look worse in the divorce proceedings.

Talk to one of those law-talking types and figure out your goals. You may not announce your plans to marry OW the day after your divorce is finalized, as that might make you look worse in the proceedings.

I'd keep it quiet until 4-5 months along, as you don't know if OW will miscarry, have an abortion, etc.

So ladies -- you going to make fun of some other guy you disagree with and assert that he can't get laid?

So what? He can lay pipe but is a scum bag. No thanks.

Because OP sure as fuck gets laid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shared legal is fine. 50/50 in a household with AP is not good. You have two possible scenarios:

1) AP resents that she just aborted her child to help you out. Do you think she will give a damn about being a nurturing stepmother for your DD.

Or

2) AP doesn't give a damn about aborting her own child. Why would she care about the child of her romantic rival?

If you want joint physical, don't marry OW or cohabitate for at least a year. You need to see how she's going to treat your vulnerable toddler. A three year old can't even full express some of the crap an angry or cold-hearted non-relative might pull.

Except OW doesn't want to abort the baby, which OP said somewhere around page 2. So what are you on about?

OP this all sounds a mess, but forget all this stuff about your toddler growing up hating you and so on. That isn't always the case. Many of the people here are weird.

Many people do not cheat and knock up a third party. This is sleazy all the way around. Hey, who cares right? As long as the OP can get some strange. Losers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You come off as a jerk. I mean you are in a newish marriage have a,1 year old baby and already having an affair and impregnating another woman and now you want to get married again and you haven't even left the home of your current wife. It's like marriage and children are just widgets to you. Like leasing a car. Buying carryout. Jesus.

Yes, please, tell your wife you got another,woman pregnant. She will thank you later, because it will set her free to find a man who cherishes her and cherishes the vow of marriage. Don't drag the ending out.

I've been married going on 5 years and have a three year old.

Right. But you were married only what - 2-3 years when the affair STARTED. And when DD was a baby. Please. I can tell from your responses you are so callous. Omg. You must have a big dick or make lots of $$$ because I can't see why any woman would marry you or procreate with you. Unbelieveable. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shared legal is fine. 50/50 in a household with AP is not good. You have two possible scenarios:

1) AP resents that she just aborted her child to help you out. Do you think she will give a damn about being a nurturing stepmother for your DD.

Or

2) AP doesn't give a damn about aborting her own child. Why would she care about the child of her romantic rival?

If you want joint physical, don't marry OW or cohabitate for at least a year. You need to see how she's going to treat your vulnerable toddler. A three year old can't even full express some of the crap an angry or cold-hearted non-relative might pull.

Why would you think the ow would do something to the daughter? I'm an ow and I love his kid. I took care of the baby when the mother was in the hospital, but you all called me a troll.

[Anonymous]

Obviously the OW needs to have an abortion. We don't need any more of your progeny in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shared legal is fine. 50/50 in a household with AP is not good. You have two possible scenarios:

1) AP resents that she just aborted her child to help you out. Do you think she will give a damn about being a nurturing stepmother for your DD.

Or

2) AP doesn't give a damn about aborting her own child. Why would she care about the child of her romantic rival?

If you want joint physical, don't marry OW or cohabitate for at least a year. You need to see how she's going to treat your vulnerable toddler. A three year old can't even full express some of the crap an angry or cold-hearted non-relative might pull.

Why would you think the ow would do something to the daughter? I'm an ow and I love his kid. I took care of the baby when the mother was in the hospital, but you all called me a troll.

Because OW already irrevocably damaged a small child's life. And so did you.

Disgusting.

[Anonymous]

I feel like there are people here who aren't sane claiming everybody's life is ruined irreparably and so on. This situation sucks. OP you effed it all up. But ruined everybody's life? C'mon now people. I have been married and I have been divorced (iunfaithful husband, natch) and life sucks ass for a bit and then it goes on.

[Anonymous]

Also, if the loonies are telling themselves all this doomsday nonsense to justify staying in their own awful marriage, stop it. You don't have to be so miserable you are this cray.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like there are people here who aren't sane claiming everybody's life is ruined irreparably and so on. This situation sucks. OP you effed it all up. But ruined everybody's life? C'mon now people. I have been married and I have been divorced (iunfaithful husband, natch) and life sucks ass for a bit and then it goes on.

Have you had your parents break up when you were three and have to go from seeing your mother every day to shuttling back and forth between households and living with a strange woman when you have no capacity to understand why?

If not then STFU.

If you don't get the difference between your experience divorcing as an adult and this toddler's experience, and of you think that any decent woman would put a toddler through that, again you are nuts.