Vacation drama with mother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We left. She called me a selfish bitch and said I was ruining things for everyone else.

Sorry this impacted your sister's vacation too.

OP here. I'm done putting everyone else first. From now on its about my husband and child.

NP here. Absolutely agree with you, OP! Just as you are an adult and responsible for your choices, your happiness, your family... so is your sister (and your mother). Just because you left does NOT mean anyone's vacation was ruined. They are adults and own their happiness (or abusive unhappiness as it may be). Do you, eat the fucking waffles, enjoy your baby and husband and have a staycation at home. Totally unacceptable for an adult to behave as your mother did, and the fact that she is your mother and did that is especially heinous. Another poster was right when they said you deserve better. Focus on making a happy home for you, your husband and kid.

And I am not fat, don't care if you are or aren't, and can put away three eggo homestyle waffles myself. They are delicious. All these people focused on your diet are weirdos who are jealous and wish they could unclench enough to swallow three waffles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: (My mom gained less than 25 lbs and I was a 7 lb baby)

Are you Asian? Otherwise you must be pretty old; that's no longer considered healthy except for women of a small build.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:



Just because fat is the new normal doesn't mean that thin people have issues.

The "issues" have to do with what you say, not with your size. After all, we can't see you, you sound obsessed with food and with other people's diets, so you I would guess that you have had a lifelong struggle with your own weight. Take care of yourself and your own family; otherwise, it's just none of your business what other people eat.

[Anonymous]

OP here. To make the fat shaming PP's seem even more ridiculous, I don't eat poorly most of the time. I gained less than 5 lbs while pregnant by starting a GD diet (I did not have GD but wanted to keep it that way), and I follow it to this day. I cheat 2-3 meals a month. I am currently down 25 lbs from my prepregnancy weight.

But as some PP's keep saying, this isn't about a waffle. It's about my toxic mother being hateful. What one PP called passive aggression is actually self-preservation. I'm in therapy because of the damage this woman has done to my self-esteem over the years.

So why was I even there? Because hope springs eternal and deep down, I'm an optimist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Let me guess, you have only a high school education.

It's not a matter of education, but of manners. I know plenty of people with only high-school diplomas who have excellent manners; you don't have to be very sophisticated to have learned to MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: (My mom gained less than 25 lbs and I was a 7 lb baby)

Are you Asian? Otherwise you must be pretty old; that's no longer considered healthy except for women of a small build.

Actually, you are wrong pp. I was told to gain no more than 25 lbs when pregnant four years ago. Standards have changed. And no, I was not overweight to start. I was size 4.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow what an overreaction.

Who do you mean? OP or her mom?

well, mother was rude and overreacted in her own way, but leaving vacation because of that? i don't get it. i always thought these scene in american movies where people storm out of the room felt fake but i guess you people really do act like that. everyone is so sensitive.

If her mother came to her and said, "Hey, I'm sorry. I was totally out of line with that comment calling you fat and selfish. I apologize," then yes, storming out might be a bit much. But the mother didn't. Instead she doubled down and called her a bitch. Why would anyone want to spend their vacation being insulted and belittled??? OP can have her vacation wherever she wants. So she's choosing to spend it elsewhere. Can't believe you don't get that PP.

but she called her a bitch after OP cut off her vacation with her parents and sister's family. so it was a not very eloquent comment on a different and entirely over the top behavior.

of course i get it that she can spend her vacation wherever she pleases. i also get it that her mother can call her fat if she pleases etc etc. the point is not what people have a right to do, but what kind of behavior is conducive to good family relationships. while mother's behavior was unhelpful in that regard, so was OP's reaction.

I can't believe you. Uh huh, calling one another names IS conducive to good family relationships? PP you think people should be dormats to abusers just to keep everything appearing hunky dory on the surface so op's mom can pretend she has a happy extended family. You might want to try therapy yourself because you've missed a very big point about being an adult.

who said OP was supposed to be doormat and not say anything? a part of the problem is that she didn't say anything when she was supposed to! instead of reciprocating in kind she blew it out of all proportion!

if my mother called me fat, i would have called her fat/saggy/some other uncomfortable truth. i certainly wouldn't change my vacation plans which included so many other people.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous
Actually, you are wrong pp. I was told to gain no more than 25 lbs when pregnant four years ago. Standards have changed. And no, I was not overweight to start. I was size 4.

Current standards call for women of normal BMI to gain 25 to 35 pounds during pregnancy. If you're short and small-boned you'd look at the lower end, of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: (My mom gained less than 25 lbs and I was a 7 lb baby)

Are you Asian? Otherwise you must be pretty old; that's no longer considered healthy except for women of a small build.

Meh. I'm 5'2", 125 lbs, white/not Asian, and gained only 22 lbs when I was pregnant with DS1 (who weighed 8 lbs 2 oz at birth). I don't take pride in it, however; nor did I try not to gain weight. It's just how things played out for me.

OP, if I knew you IRL I would make some delicious homemade waffles for you and deliver them with Nutella and whipped cream.

[Anonymous]

Jesus, how is this thread 9 pages long?

OP, your mom sucks. Don't engage the whackos who think eating 3 waffles for breakfast - on vacation, no less - is terrible.

[Anonymous]

Now I'm craving waffles with Nutella and whipped cream.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To make the fat shaming PP's seem even more ridiculous, I don't eat poorly most of the time. I gained less than 5 lbs while pregnant by starting a GD diet (I did not have GD but wanted to keep it that way), and I follow it to this day. I cheat 2-3 meals a month. I am currently down 25 lbs from my prepregnancy weight.

But as some PP's keep saying, this isn't about a waffle. It's about my toxic mother being hateful. What one PP called passive aggression is actually self-preservation. I'm in therapy because of the damage this woman has done to my self-esteem over the years.

So why was I even there? Because hope springs eternal and deep down, I'm an optimist.

OP, I think your leaving will make your therapist proud. And you sound like you are on your way to breaking free from that maternal toxic bullcrap. Do it for yourself and do it for your baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even diabetics are allowed 45 grams are carbs. And 3 of these waffles are a whopping 4.5 grams of sugar. Do you people read anything before shooting off your mouths?

240 calories, 45 carbs, of which 4.5 TOTAL are sugar, won't kill anyone who would prefer eggs and eats them regularly.

And no one but a doctor should be telling someone they're overnight. Like you think they aren't aware?

Tell me, PP's. Since there was limited food, do you think an 80 calorie breakfast is appropriate for anyone, much less a nursing mother?

^^ this is nutritional illiteracy and this is why people are fat.

Since we are talking about waffles here, there isn't much fiber. So yes, the carbs are turned into simple sugar by your body.

Nutritionally speaking - the frozen waffles are the same as twinkies.

[Anonymous]

There's 3.5 g of fiber in each. Do you STILL think this is about the waffles? My goodness, but the unwillingness to see the real issue here is astounding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jesus, how is this thread 9 pages long?

OP, your mom sucks. Don't engage the whackos who think eating 3 waffles for breakfast - on vacation, no less - is terrible.

because there was an additional development, with OP leaving the house.