Vacation drama with mother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree the mother is rude but not eating for 12 hrs when nursing is not ok, and 3 waffles at once is too much for anyone but a training athlete.

Good lord. Get over yourself. Three little eggos hardly make a "training athlete" meal.

Seriously. A 5-year-old could eat that and be asking for seconds.

A 5 year old is growing; no adult should be eating 3 waffles in one sitting. No 5 year old either, but at least they are growing.

You have no clue what you're talking about. Did you get confused? Do you think we're talking about Belgian waffles? If you are knowingly saying that three of the standard, small frozen waffles are too much for an adult to eat, I'll go ahead and assume you wandered over here from some pro-ana site.

No, I know exactly what I'm talking about, and no I'm not anorexic. My breakfast usually consists of omelets or whatever leftover I have at home - this IS loads healthier than a processed waffle.

It says a lot about Americans when you're 'diagnosed' pro-ana by a stranger online simply because you don't eat like a fatass.

Yeah, no. Three small waffles is not some huge amount of food or calories, especially for a nursing mother. I wish you luck with your issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We left. She called me a selfish bitch and said I was ruining things for everyone else.

Sorry this impacted your sister's vacation too.

OP here. I'm done putting everyone else first. From now on its about my husband and child.

Bravo, OP. Don't forget you. You need to be on the list, too!

[Anonymous]

I could eat 3 frozen waffles as a snack when I was b-feeding.

It's amazing to me how little some women seem to eat. Sad for you but don't put your food issues on the rest of us.

OP, your mom is nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I may be a dissenting voice here, but I disagree with the stigma about fat "shaming". I do think people should tell fat people they ARE fat, at least if they are family or friends. (Don't tell a stranger because you don't know them or whether they have a medical issue.)

The mom could have been nicer, but what she said is good advice.

Yes, I understand that the OP is nursing, but 3 processed waffles isn't healthy for anyone. If she eats the SAD laden with sugar, then that's the reason she's always hungry. Sugar is addictive - it's actually quite ironic that the people who constantly experience hunger are usually (fat) people who eat way too much sugar.

OP should have eaten eggs instead, or even bacon.

Who are you to tell op what she SHOULD eat? How overbearing and opinionated you are. Let me guess, you have only a high school education. If you understood one iota about respecting other people and their boundaries, you would never consider telling another adult what to do. It isn't normal or healthy to monitor what another adult eats. It is inappropriate.

You are also doing one of the worst things that a family member can do to another family member - you feel like common courtesy and etiquette don't apply to family members. This is why so many families are broken.

I wouldn't put up with you and your ignorant opinions for two seconds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree the mother is rude but not eating for 12 hrs when nursing is not ok, and 3 waffles at once is too much for anyone but a training athlete.

Good lord. Get over yourself. Three little eggos hardly make a "training athlete" meal.

Seriously. A 5-year-old could eat that and be asking for seconds.

A 5 year old is growing; no adult should be eating 3 waffles in one sitting. No 5 year old either, but at least they are growing.

You have no clue what you're talking about. Did you get confused? Do you think we're talking about Belgian waffles? If you are knowingly saying that three of the standard, small frozen waffles are too much for an adult to eat, I'll go ahead and assume you wandered over here from some pro-ana site.

No, I know exactly what I'm talking about, and no I'm not anorexic. My breakfast usually consists of omelets or whatever leftover I have at home - this IS loads healthier than a processed waffle.

It says a lot about Americans when you're 'diagnosed' pro-ana by a stranger online simply because you don't eat like a fatass.

Yeah, no. Three small waffles is not some huge amount of food or calories, especially for a nursing mother. I wish you luck with your issues.

I have no issues. I'm just healthy, and I'm an athlete.

No, "three small waffles" isn't an issue, by itself. Or even a large coke as a treat at the movies. But most Americans don't eat just "three small waffles" and the OP's mother wouldn't be calling her fat if the waffles were a rare treat.

Yes, yes, I understand she's a nursing mother, but even that means that she could have given birth 8 months ago. PLENTY of time to lose baby weight on a non-American diet. Because you don't gain much weight on a healthy diet through a pregnancy. (My mom gained less than 25 lbs and I was a 7 lb baby)

Just because fat is the new normal doesn't mean that thin people have issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I may be a dissenting voice here, but I disagree with the stigma about fat "shaming". I do think people should tell fat people they ARE fat, at least if they are family or friends. (Don't tell a stranger because you don't know them or whether they have a medical issue.)

The mom could have been nicer, but what she said is good advice.

Yes, I understand that the OP is nursing, but 3 processed waffles isn't healthy for anyone. If she eats the SAD laden with sugar, then that's the reason she's always hungry. Sugar is addictive - it's actually quite ironic that the people who constantly experience hunger are usually (fat) people who eat way too much sugar.

OP should have eaten eggs instead, or even bacon.

You really tell your family and friends that they are fat, and think this is a good thing? I doubt you actually have any friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I have no issues. I'm just healthy, and I'm an athlete.

No, "three small waffles" isn't an issue, by itself. Or even a large coke as a treat at the movies. But most Americans don't eat just "three small waffles" and the OP's mother wouldn't be calling her fat if the waffles were a rare treat.

Yes, yes, I understand she's a nursing mother, but even that means that she could have given birth 8 months ago. PLENTY of time to lose baby weight on a non-American diet. Because you don't gain much weight on a healthy diet through a pregnancy. (My mom gained less than 25 lbs and I was a 7 lb baby)

Just because fat is the new normal doesn't mean that thin people have issues.

Cool story about your mom. How much did you gain in YOUR pregnancies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree the mother is rude but not eating for 12 hrs when nursing is not ok, and 3 waffles at once is too much for anyone but a training athlete.

Good lord. Get over yourself. Three little eggos hardly make a "training athlete" meal.

Seriously. A 5-year-old could eat that and be asking for seconds.

A 5 year old is growing; no adult should be eating 3 waffles in one sitting. No 5 year old either, but at least they are growing.

You have no clue what you're talking about. Did you get confused? Do you think we're talking about Belgian waffles? If you are knowingly saying that three of the standard, small frozen waffles are too much for an adult to eat, I'll go ahead and assume you wandered over here from some pro-ana site.

No, I know exactly what I'm talking about, and no I'm not anorexic. My breakfast usually consists of omelets or whatever leftover I have at home - this IS loads healthier than a processed waffle.

It says a lot about Americans when you're 'diagnosed' pro-ana by a stranger online simply because you don't eat like a fatass.

Yeah, no. Three small waffles is not some huge amount of food or calories, especially for a nursing mother. I wish you luck with your issues.

I have no issues. I'm just healthy, and I'm an athlete.

No, "three small waffles" isn't an issue, by itself. Or even a large coke as a treat at the movies. But most Americans don't eat just "three small waffles" and the OP's mother wouldn't be calling her fat if the waffles were a rare treat.

Yes, yes, I understand she's a nursing mother, but even that means that she could have given birth 8 months ago. PLENTY of time to lose baby weight on a non-American diet. Because you don't gain much weight on a healthy diet through a pregnancy. (My mom gained less than 25 lbs and I was a 7 lb baby)

Just because fat is the new normal doesn't mean that thin people have issues.

That is SO AMAZING how you know exactly why OP's mother called her daughter fat and selfish! You're able to see into someone's home, observe their eating habits and exactly what they're saying. You've got super telepathic powers PP! Maybe you should get a tv show. Yeah, that's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I have no issues. I'm just healthy, and I'm an athlete.

No, "three small waffles" isn't an issue, by itself. Or even a large coke as a treat at the movies. But most Americans don't eat just "three small waffles" and the OP's mother wouldn't be calling her fat if the waffles were a rare treat.

Yes, yes, I understand she's a nursing mother, but even that means that she could have given birth 8 months ago. PLENTY of time to lose baby weight on a non-American diet. Because you don't gain much weight on a healthy diet through a pregnancy. (My mom gained less than 25 lbs and I was a 7 lb baby)

Just because fat is the new normal doesn't mean that thin people have issues.

Cool story about your mom. How much did you gain in YOUR pregnancies?

I have no doubt this person is young, ignorant and has never had a baby.

Op what you are doing is hard. Don't blame yourself. Your mother's choices re her behavior caused the problems, not you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG, OP, please ignore all the assholes on this thread who are trying to defend your mother. Good for you for leaving. You are a full-grown adult and do not need to have your food habits monitored by your mother, especially not while you are breastfeeding a new baby. And the fact that your mom called you a hateful bitch for refusing to stand there while she abused you is proof that you made the right decision. I hope that you are able to find healing from your mom's abuse.

+1

Anyone who calls me names (family included) does not deserve to have my company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow what an overreaction.

Who do you mean? OP or her mom?

well, mother was rude and overreacted in her own way, but leaving vacation because of that? i don't get it. i always thought these scene in american movies where people storm out of the room felt fake but i guess you people really do act like that. everyone is so sensitive.

If her mother came to her and said, "Hey, I'm sorry. I was totally out of line with that comment calling you fat and selfish. I apologize," then yes, storming out might be a bit much. But the mother didn't. Instead she doubled down and called her a bitch. Why would anyone want to spend their vacation being insulted and belittled??? OP can have her vacation wherever she wants. So she's choosing to spend it elsewhere. Can't believe you don't get that PP.

but she called her a bitch after OP cut off her vacation with her parents and sister's family. so it was a not very eloquent comment on a different and entirely over the top behavior.

of course i get it that she can spend her vacation wherever she pleases. i also get it that her mother can call her fat if she pleases etc etc. the point is not what people have a right to do, but what kind of behavior is conducive to good family relationships. while mother's behavior was unhelpful in that regard, so was OP's reaction.

I can't believe you. Uh huh, calling one another names IS conducive to good family relationships? PP you think people should be dormats to abusers just to keep everything appearing hunky dory on the surface so op's mom can pretend she has a happy extended family. You might want to try therapy yourself because you've missed a very big point about being an adult.

[Anonymous]

I think waffles are crap. I never eat them. I have plenty of opinions on the SAD, the obesity epidemic and nutrition in general. BUT BUT BUT I do not ever, EVER get to tell anyone besides my two young kids and myself what they get to eat. It is just none of my damn business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you let your mother know how unbelievably rude she is? Would she kick you out if you did? If so, then leave. If she asks why, tell her you're insulted and hungry.

She would tell me to leave, yes.

Your mom is an asshole. I'd leave, you don't have to go back to work.

I'd leave, too. I wouldn't put up with that from anyone else; I sure as hell wouldn't tolerate that from someone who is supposed to love me.

[Anonymous]

OP - you were a guest in your mother beach house. I am sure she went to a lot of trouble to host you and your young family and your sister and her family.

Yes, she said something a bit mean - but you made a huge deal by leaving and ruining the vacation.

Why couldn't you have simply called her out on it and said - hey Mom, I didn't realize these were for the kids; I'm starving. You should have said something right away.

Instead you let it fester and you embarrassed your family by storming out. (Even if you left quietly, it is essentiallly storming out.)

Also, you are probably an overly sensitive sleep deprived new mother so there is that to consider.

This is your mother who was trying to provide a nice family vacation for everyone. You say she has been "toxic" for years. It sounds like you are passive aggressive.

You should have let it go (or called her out on her words right away.)

Leaving made the whole thing 100x worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It says a lot about Americans when you're 'diagnosed' pro-ana by a stranger online simply because you don't eat like a fatass.

It says a lot about you when you toss abusive terms around when someone disagrees with you. What's your ethnicity, since you're not "American"?