Nearly 17 year old son is sexually active

[Anonymous]

Assuming they are in DC, Maryland or Virginia, she can consent. The only legal issue will be the time between when he turns 18 and she turns 18 if they are in Virginia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone notice the huge cultural disconnect in this thread?

The parents born and raised here in America are far more accepting of the possibility of teenage sex.

The parents raised in other cultures, but trying to raise teens here in the USA, have completely opposite views of teen sex.

Wrong. I was born and raised here and I think it’s terrible that this parent is ok with her son doing this as a minor to a minor. She cannot consent. Her parents should know she’s being meddled with without consent. Also, the focus should be on academics at this stage, this is a parent fail.

“meddled with” ???

You were not raised here.

[Anonymous]

No, I would stay out of it. Do you even know what her relationship with her parents is like? My son has been dating his girlfriend for six months and I have never met her parents.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP!

You’ve recd lots of good suggestions for the importance of condoms, which are the only BC which also offers some (though not perfect) STI protection. (for example: genitile herpes can be spread even with correct condom use)

But please remember condoms = safer s*x. No method is 100% safe. Plus, remember condoms sometimes break, and that’s more likely to happen with eager, inexperienced teens wearing a condom.

So, to add to protection: have you had both teens vaccinated with the HPV vax? This one is a no-brainer. Also, there is an often overlooked vax for the preventable M—pox STI. This one is important because teens often forgo condoms for anal intercourse, which is the main method of transmission of M—pox. Plus even when used, condoms can and do break. Just get both vaccines.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone notice the huge cultural disconnect in this thread?

The parents born and raised here in America are far more accepting of the possibility of teenage sex.

The parents raised in other cultures, but trying to raise teens here in the USA, have completely opposite views of teen sex.

Wrong. I was born and raised here and I think it’s terrible that this parent is ok with her son doing this as a minor to a minor. She cannot consent. Her parents should know she’s being meddled with without consent. Also, the focus should be on academics at this stage, this is a parent fail.

“meddled with” ???

You were not raised here.

The whole sentence is gross. Meddled with without consent, whose consent is pp talking about? Her father’s??

[Anonymous]

Congrats you have a responsible kid! Don't tell her parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents of 16 year olds having sex are terrible parents.

Glad you are the expert in the exact age at which a parent of a sexually active teen is terrible. What about 18? 22? At what age have you decided that the parents aren't terrible parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So...no more AP Calculus BC? Just shagging?

My 15 year old daughter is taking AP BC calc next year as a sophomore and is also sleeping with her boyfriend. These things are not mutually exclusive.

[Anonymous]

Have a big meeting invite her family and the neighbors, make sure to notify the extended family too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So...no more AP Calculus BC? Just shagging?

My 15 year old daughter is taking AP BC calc next year as a sophomore and is also sleeping with her boyfriend. These things are not mutually exclusive.

Right. And when she gets pregnant she’ll be the smartest 15 YO in her pre-birth class. Yay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So...no more AP Calculus BC? Just shagging?

My 15 year old daughter is taking AP BC calc next year as a sophomore and is also sleeping with her boyfriend. These things are not mutually exclusive.

Right. And when she gets pregnant she’ll be the smartest 15 YO in her pre-birth class. Yay?

Given that she is on birth control and they consistently use condoms I think that's unlikely, she's a pretty smart kid and understands prevention and risk. You would be surprised how many 15 year olds have sex, I'm glad we have the type of relationship where she asked to start birth control and talked with her doctor about her health concerns. I guess we could continue to shame young women into being too embarrassed to talk through these things with trusted adults but I think that would be unhealthy.

[Anonymous]

My 15 year old daughter is taking AP BC calc next year as a sophomore and is also sleeping with her boyfriend. These things are not mutually exclusive.

You aren’t the cool mom you think you are. Other moms are not impressed that you are good with your high school freshman having sex or with your “parenting.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My 15 year old daughter is taking AP BC calc next year as a sophomore and is also sleeping with her boyfriend. These things are not mutually exclusive.

You aren’t the cool mom you think you are. Other moms are not impressed that you are good with your high school freshman having sex or with your “parenting.”

I’ve never tried to be a cool mom, mostly I’m known to be pushy about math. When my 15 year old daughter hinted that she and her boyfriend were thinking about sex I took her to her doctor to discuss and make sure she fully understood all of the risks and how to think about that decision. I could have yelled at her and tried to break them up, but I’ve seen that go very wrong. Thanks for judging my “parenting”, we’re all just doing our best here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My 15 year old daughter is taking AP BC calc next year as a sophomore and is also sleeping with her boyfriend. These things are not mutually exclusive.

You aren’t the cool mom you think you are. Other moms are not impressed that you are good with your high school freshman having sex or with your “parenting.”

I’ve never tried to be a cool mom, mostly I’m known to be pushy about math. When my 15 year old daughter hinted that she and her boyfriend were thinking about sex I took her to her doctor to discuss and make sure she fully understood all of the risks and how to think about that decision. I could have yelled at her and tried to break them up, but I’ve seen that go very wrong. Thanks for judging my “parenting”, we’re all just doing our best here.

While we cannot 100% prevent our kids from doing anything, a 15 yo does not have the maturity, and in many states the legal right, to consent to sex. So I hope that in addition to taking her to the doctor, you told her that you don’t allow children to have sex and took steps to try not to allow the opportunity. It’s not a “decision” a 15 yo can really make, just like you (hopefully) wouldn’t let her drive a car unattended or drink alcohol at age 15.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My 15 year old daughter is taking AP BC calc next year as a sophomore and is also sleeping with her boyfriend. These things are not mutually exclusive.

You aren’t the cool mom you think you are. Other moms are not impressed that you are good with your high school freshman having sex or with your “parenting.”

I’ve never tried to be a cool mom, mostly I’m known to be pushy about math. When my 15 year old daughter hinted that she and her boyfriend were thinking about sex I took her to her doctor to discuss and make sure she fully understood all of the risks and how to think about that decision. I could have yelled at her and tried to break them up, but I’ve seen that go very wrong. Thanks for judging my “parenting”, we’re all just doing our best here.

While we cannot 100% prevent our kids from doing anything, a 15 yo does not have the maturity, and in many states the legal right, to consent to sex. So I hope that in addition to taking her to the doctor, you told her that you don’t allow children to have sex and took steps to try not to allow the opportunity. It’s not a “decision” a 15 yo can really make, just like you (hopefully) wouldn’t let her drive a car unattended or drink alcohol at age 15.

Teens absolutely have the legal right to consent to sex with same-age peers.