Nearly 17 year old son is sexually active

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom of a 17 year old girl here. No, don’t tell her parents.

That’s it mom. Just bury your head in the sand. Much easier that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The bottom line is, they are both minors. Yes, OP, I think you should tell her parents, but after first discussing this with your husband and son. If he's old enough to have a girlfriend and be sexually active, he's old enough to have a mature conversation with you about this, and her parents too, if necessary.

I would not be happy about this, and I would let him know that. Nothing good will come of this.

Uh, read the OP. They already discussed it. You want the kid to discuss it with her parents? Good lord, some of you are crazy.

Really? So it’s best that they sneak around? If you don’t know about it, it’s not happening, right?

[Anonymous]

Good for him!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Impress upon him that he MUST use condoms regardless, and always treat her with respect and consideration. Then stay out of it.

This, 100% this, every single time, even if she is on birth control. And h@ll no, you do not tell her parents.

And are there any lawyers here? If he turns 18 while she is still 17, can he be arrested for statutory rate? That would be my worry

I don’t think so. Not for a continuous relationship that started when they were both minors

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Impress upon him that he MUST use condoms regardless, and always treat her with respect and consideration. Then stay out of it.

This, 100% this, every single time, even if she is on birth control. And h@ll no, you do not tell her parents.

And are there any lawyers here? If he turns 18 while she is still 17, can he be arrested for statutory rate? That would be my worry

I don’t think so. Not for a continuous relationship that started when they were both minors

Not a lawyer tho

[Anonymous]

I will get flamed for this, but I don’t understand why your son told you he is having sex with the girlfriend? Does he want your blessing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom of a 17 year old girl here. No, don’t tell her parents.

That’s it mom. Just bury your head in the sand. Much easier that way.

I’m not burying my head anywhere. I talk to my own daughter. I really don’t want to hear from her boyfriend’s parents about whether or not they’re having sex. That would not be good for anyone involved.

For a younger teen, my thoughts would be probably be different. But at 17, they can drive and go off wherever they want. They’re about to go to college. You have to let out a substantial amount of rope and let them make decisions about what they do with whom.

[Anonymous]

Don’t tell her parents. It’s not your place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The bottom line is, they are both minors. Yes, OP, I think you should tell her parents, but after first discussing this with your husband and son. If he's old enough to have a girlfriend and be sexually active, he's old enough to have a mature conversation with you about this, and her parents too, if necessary.

I would not be happy about this, and I would let him know that. Nothing good will come of this.

Uh, read the OP. They already discussed it. You want the kid to discuss it with her parents? Good lord, some of you are crazy.

Really? So it’s best that they sneak around? If you don’t know about it, it’s not happening, right?

Everybody in the OP’s scenario already knows about it! This is as ideal as this situation can get. Do none of you even have teenagers? Girl is on birth control and confides in her parents. Boy confides in his parents. These sound like responsible kids engaging in age appropriate behavior safely.

No one’s going to stop them by having more discussions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG tell her parents? What? Do you want to make sure he stops being open with you?

You don’t have to make a big deal out of this. Just tend a Zoom invite for a brief 15 minute touch base labeled “Just In Time update” to her dad. Nbd.

[Anonymous]

No, you don’t tell her parents. Good grief.

Her mother may already know anyway, and that’s who may have helped get her on birth control.

You let your son know where you put the box of condoms for him, remind him to always always have one available, and that’s it.

-Mother of young adult son and young adult daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, you don’t tell her parents. Good grief.

Her mother may already know anyway, and that’s who may have helped get her on birth control.

You let your son know where you put the box of condoms for him, remind him to always always have one available, and that’s it.

-Mother of young adult son and young adult daughter.

Plus: it’s absolutely crucial (no matter how cringy the conversation) that he be told he absolutely MUST wear one for every act, and not just for PIV.

This is required and not up for discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Impress upon him that he MUST use condoms regardless, and always treat her with respect and consideration. Then stay out of it.

This, 100% this, every single time, even if she is on birth control. And h@ll no, you do not tell her parents.

And are there any lawyers here? If he turns 18 while she is still 17, can he be arrested for statutory rate? That would be my worry

Some of you are almost unspeakably dumb. It is almost tragic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom of a 17 year old girl here. No, don’t tell her parents.

Why not?

[Anonymous]

No, do not contact her parents. You need to buy condoms and Plan B for your son. You can buy them online. Better safe than sorry.