Am I overreacting/rude with this text?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, you were not rude. Liberal white women are very entitled and don’t like being called out about their BS, especially by WOC or white men. And before you all start attacking me, I’m a 47 year old white male.

+1. Liberal white women are the worst. I’m surprised you came to ask this question on DCUM. From now on, OP, you can really only trust other people of color to understand these dynamics (and I do appreciate the 47 year old white male here as well). Never bring these topics up in white spaces because they will gaslight you to hell and back.

Interesting, whitey isn't that bad if it's a man.

Patiently waiting for the white women to find a way somehow to blame this whole thing on white men…

Trump did it!!!!!!!!!

First liberal white women act like a victims of racism from women of color, (as we can see in this thread), then they act like victims of misogyny from white men, finallly they act like victims of both racism and misogyny from women of color, of course.

It’s always something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Friend and I were at a public place (restaurant/bar) for drinks. I told her a fact based on things I know from my career field. She insisted I was incorrect. A man at the table behind us, turned around and said "actually, she is right. I have experienced [event/situation] to be the case as well".

Sidebar: This is why I can't stand any and all trendy hip restaurants where you're 1-foot away from strangers on all sides. Every creep is eavesdropping on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a WOC and I wouldn’t send that text to a friend. But I would call her and tell her.

+1

- WOC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, you were not rude. Liberal white women are very entitled and don’t like being called out about their BS, especially by WOC or white men. And before you all start attacking me, I’m a 47 year old white male.

+1. Liberal white women are the worst. I’m surprised you came to ask this question on DCUM. From now on, OP, you can really only trust other people of color to understand these dynamics (and I do appreciate the 47 year old white male here as well). Never bring these topics up in white spaces because they will gaslight you to hell and back.

I am 45 MOC and what OP did is plain rude. Stop playing victim to race game all the time. She didn't have guts to say it in-person and now being passive aggressive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend and I were at a public place (restaurant/bar) for drinks. I told her a fact based on things I know from my career field. She insisted I was incorrect. A man at the table behind us, turned around and said "actually, she is right. I have experienced [event/situation] to be the case as well".

Sidebar: This is why I can't stand any and all trendy hip restaurants where you're 1-foot away from strangers on all sides. Every creep is eavesdropping on you.

A white man married to a black woman is a creep now? I would’ve thought he would be the hero of the liberal Olympics.

[Anonymous]

What is the average age of the women responding on this thread? I have to assume this is skewing older because these responses are bananas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend and I were at a public place (restaurant/bar) for drinks. I told her a fact based on things I know from my career field. She insisted I was incorrect. A man at the table behind us, turned around and said "actually, she is right. I have experienced [event/situation] to be the case as well".

Sidebar: This is why I can't stand any and all trendy hip restaurants where you're 1-foot away from strangers on all sides. Every creep is eavesdropping on you.

A white man married to a black woman is a creep now? I would’ve thought he would be the hero of the liberal Olympics.

reading comprehension: give it a try

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend and I were at a public place (restaurant/bar) for drinks. I told her a fact based on things I know from my career field. She insisted I was incorrect. A man at the table behind us, turned around and said "actually, she is right. I have experienced [event/situation] to be the case as well".

Sidebar: This is why I can't stand any and all trendy hip restaurants where you're 1-foot away from strangers on all sides. Every creep is eavesdropping on you.

A white man married to a black woman is a creep now? I would’ve thought he would be the hero of the liberal Olympics.

reading comprehension: give it a try

Yes please try that yourself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the average age of the women responding on this thread? I have to assume this is skewing older because these responses are bananas.

This whole post is hilarious. 😆 Op is so dramatic

[Anonymous]

OP, I would be annoyed at your friend too. BUT you basically told your friend that you thinks she is racist. That's a really loaded accusation to make, especially when there are other possible explanations. For instance, maybe she still believes she is right, but didn't want to argue with a stranger who inserted himself in your conversation (weird).

If I had a friend who accused me of racism, I would feel mortified. I would apolgzie and certainly reflect on my behavior. Probably wouldn't be able to move forward though because I would feel to anxious to be around you.

Accusing a white person of being racist or accusing them of micro aggressions has now become a moral transgression. It is kind of like telling your friend that she is liar or a thief. The topic has become so loaded that it is difficult to engage in an honest conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think your text was rude at all. Especially if this has happened before. If a friend said that to me I’d know they put thought into it and were trying to share their feelings w/me.

Same! It always seems that women and especially WOC are supposed to address everything perfectly. That takes so much energy and gets exhausting. Don't listen to the haters, OP. It was an aggression and you said what you needed to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Friend and I were at a public place (restaurant/bar) for drinks. I told her a fact based on things I know from my career field. She insisted I was incorrect. A man at the table behind us, turned around and said "actually, she is right. I have experienced [event/situation] to be the case as well".

For context, friend is a white woman and I am a WOC. I sent her a text later as follows:
"Hey, I just wanted to say that it really hurts when you don't listen to me on things that I quite literally do for a living. It's a bit of a microaggression to be honest that you immediately believe a random white man who presents anecdata over me, your friend who has a Master's in this topic. I'm not mad at you and I don't want to stop being friends with you. I just wanted to let you know how this comes across."

She replied "oh it's not like that...."

Am I overreacting?

Yes, you are over-reacting. You said it was ‘micro-aggression’ but now you know that’s like calling her a racist. This is not how a friend acts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think your text was rude at all. Especially if this has happened before. If a friend said that to me I’d know they put thought into it and were trying to share their feelings w/me.

Same! It always seems that women and especially WOC are supposed to address everything perfectly. That takes so much energy and gets exhausting. Don't listen to the haters, OP. It was an aggression and you said what you needed to say.

Op used the race card and if she has this victim mentality then she has much bigger problems to worry about in the future. She might not have any good friends out of her race and her victim mentality would make her more angry and entitled.

[Anonymous]

Well OP… now you know the average white woman is going to freak out at the slightest whiff of her racial bias being called out. Here you have 9 pages of women in complete denial that a white woman could possibly commit a micro aggression against a friend. So hopefully that at least explains your friend’s reaction! Ha!

In reality there is nothing wrong with saying how you feel and how something came across. I would want to know if my friend felt this way, and I would seek to understand why. Unfortunately that does not seem to be the instinct for everyone or even most people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you assuming that your friend was not acting in good faith when she disagreed with you?

OP here,
Because she regularly hand waves and dismisses things that I say to her. She hears the same thing from someone else and suddenly she believes it. I will apologize for my rudeness, but I was just kind of over it in the moment and shouldn't have lashed out.

I’m a white woman and I have a white woman friend who regularly does this to me. She will insist I’m wrong in an area of the law I work in and have tons of experience in. It’s insulting and disrespectful. If I were a WOC it might sting even more. I agree with you OP, and think you handled it well.