Am I overreacting/rude with this text?

[Anonymous]

Your text was rude. You don't want her to walk on eggshells with you. If it really bothers you, you address it in person when calm and willing to hear her side.

Texts are for making plans, sending memes and pleasant interaction-not for resolving anger. Nobody wants to be afraid to check their texts.

[Anonymous]

You are absolutely overreacting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, to provide full context:

I am a women's health NP and also a CNM. We were discussion the how dangerous birth can be. This came up due to a number of influences either dying recently or having sever complications from home births gone wrong.

I was mentioning that the US has a high mat mortality rate for a developed country and the rate is higher among women of color. She said that she didn't think that was true.

The man who interjected mentioned how his wife is also a WOC and he has seen how medical bias is a real thing and he can see how it would lead to negative things happening.


I didn't want to go into detail at first for privacy, but at this point, if she sees this, she will already know it's me.

NP: To OP, I was on your side before and now I definitely am. Doesn't everyone know the bolded?

+1

This research should be common knowledge to anyone who reads legit news on the regular.

And I suspect hearing another person validate the commonly accepted research is what changed her mind…not that it came from a white man.

I agree.

But you cannot hash out feelings in written form. If you're upset with your friend, you need to talk to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, you were not rude. Liberal white women are very entitled and don’t like being called out about their BS, especially by WOC or white men. And before you all start attacking me, I’m a 47 year old white male.

+1. Liberal white women are the worst. I’m surprised you came to ask this question on DCUM. From now on, OP, you can really only trust other people of color to understand these dynamics (and I do appreciate the 47 year old white male here as well). Never bring these topics up in white spaces because they will gaslight you to hell and back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Friend and I were at a public place (restaurant/bar) for drinks. I told her a fact based on things I know from my career field. She insisted I was incorrect. A man at the table behind us, turned around and said "actually, she is right. I have experienced [event/situation] to be the case as well".

For context, friend is a white woman and I am a WOC. I sent her a text later as follows:
"Hey, I just wanted to say that it really hurts when you don't listen to me on things that I quite literally do for a living. It's a bit of a microaggression to be honest that you immediately believe a random white man who presents anecdata over me, your friend who has a Master's in this topic. I'm not mad at you and I don't want to stop being friends with you. I just wanted to let you know how this comes across."

She replied "oh it's not like that...."

Am I overreacting?

Whew, Lord! That is csnty af. Unsolicited advice is always criticism. Don't criticize if you don't need to. If you're angry, and you need to get it off your chest to clear the air, then own that. If you're not, then STFU and MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Friend and I were at a public place (restaurant/bar) for drinks. I told her a fact based on things I know from my career field. She insisted I was incorrect. A man at the table behind us, turned around and said "actually, she is right. I have experienced [event/situation] to be the case as well".

For context, friend is a white woman and I am a WOC. I sent her a text later as follows:
"Hey, I just wanted to say that it really hurts when you don't listen to me on things that I quite literally do for a living. It's a bit of a microaggression to be honest that you immediately believe a random white man who presents anecdata over me, your friend who has a Master's in this topic. I'm not mad at you and I don't want to stop being friends with you. I just wanted to let you know how this comes across."

She replied "oh it's not like that...."

Am I overreacting?

yes, you are. She could be a bad person or less trustworthy of others but it has nothing to do with race.
Stop making a big deal and bringing race into anything.

Sometimes your colored friends wouldn't trust you either and that is normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, you were not rude. Liberal white women are very entitled and don’t like being called out about their BS, especially by WOC or white men. And before you all start attacking me, I’m a 47 year old white male.

+1. Liberal white women are the worst. I’m surprised you came to ask this question on DCUM. From now on, OP, you can really only trust other people of color to understand these dynamics (and I do appreciate the 47 year old white male here as well). Never bring these topics up in white spaces because they will gaslight you to hell and back.

Interesting, whitey isn't that bad if it's a man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your text was rude. You don't want her to walk on eggshells with you. If it really bothers you, you address it in person when calm and willing to hear her side.

Texts are for making plans, sending memes and pleasant interaction-not for resolving anger. Nobody wants to be afraid to check their texts.

Agree. It’s such weird ruminating energy. Regardless of who was right (you were right) but the text is so so cringy

[Anonymous]

No. The word you are looking for is racist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, you were not rude. Liberal white women are very entitled and don’t like being called out about their BS, especially by WOC or white men. And before you all start attacking me, I’m a 47 year old white male.

+1. Liberal white women are the worst. I’m surprised you came to ask this question on DCUM. From now on, OP, you can really only trust other people of color to understand these dynamics (and I do appreciate the 47 year old white male here as well). Never bring these topics up in white spaces because they will gaslight you to hell and back.

Interesting, whitey isn't that bad if it's a man.

OP here, I didn't write the previous comment that you are replying to.

[Anonymous]

You're not wrong. She may not be ready to hear your message, and that's OK. It was a kindness to give her an opportunity to reflect on her actions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend and I were at a public place (restaurant/bar) for drinks. I told her a fact based on things I know from my career field. She insisted I was incorrect. A man at the table behind us, turned around and said "actually, she is right. I have experienced [event/situation] to be the case as well".

For context, friend is a white woman and I am a WOC. I sent her a text later as follows:
"Hey, I just wanted to say that it really hurts when you don't listen to me on things that I quite literally do for a living. It's a bit of a microaggression to be honest that you immediately believe a random white man who presents anecdata over me, your friend who has a Master's in this topic. I'm not mad at you and I don't want to stop being friends with you. I just wanted to let you know how this comes across."

She replied "oh it's not like that...."

Am I overreacting?

yes, you are. She could be a bad person or less trustworthy of others but it has nothing to do with race.
Stop making a big deal and bringing race into anything.

Sometimes your colored friends wouldn't trust you either and that is normal.

But I'm sure you didn't mean anything by that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its wild that she disagreed with you, for so many reasons, but since you said this has happened before - I would guess its just her difficult personality type.

?

So now anyone who disagrees has a difficult personality?

Ya know, sometimes people are just dumb. Or clueless. That doesn’t mean they are difficult.

And sometimes facts don’t dictate a right or wrong answer, meaning different opinions are fine.

Unless this woman lives under a rock, its common knowledge that POC have a higher mortality rate when it comes to childbirth. Its a wild thing to disagree with a 1- an NP who studied this and 2- a POC who may have more insight. Some people are just contrary.

Like I said: some people are just dumb. The friend obviously doesn’t read legit news.

As to not immediately believing her friend, that could be explained by:

1. The fact she isn’t up to speed on the research, and

2. The fact that she lives in an area that isn’t racist and everyone has access to high quality healthcare.

What area might that be 🤣🤣🤣

Montgomery County…where uninsured women of color deliver babies at Holy Cross, a high quality hospital, without issue…and the county’s politics skew super-liberal and millions are invested annually to combat racism and prioritize DEI, etc.

2026 in MoCo is pretty fair and balanced.

Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I would never speak to you again.

lol. (+1)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, you were not rude. Liberal white women are very entitled and don’t like being called out about their BS, especially by WOC or white men. And before you all start attacking me, I’m a 47 year old white male.

+1. Liberal white women are the worst. I’m surprised you came to ask this question on DCUM. From now on, OP, you can really only trust other people of color to understand these dynamics (and I do appreciate the 47 year old white male here as well). Never bring these topics up in white spaces because they will gaslight you to hell and back.

Interesting, whitey isn't that bad if it's a man.

Patiently waiting for the white women to find a way somehow to blame this whole thing on white men…

Trump did it!!!!!!!!!