New baby with second husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have kids with XH. New DH has no kids. Discussing the possibility of a kid together… I’m over 40. I conceived my other kids 9+ years ago first try each time, carried full term, no miscarriages. What are the odds I am still fertile? Anyone else have a second round child?

I had a baby with my second husband. One from first marriage. What you are describing is a hard idea for a lot of reasons. If your youngest kid is 9, that kid will be entering teen years when you have a new baby. In my experience, tween years are when you want to be the most present for your kids as they are dealing with a lot of development at that time. Having a new baby or being pregnant or otherwise focused on "the second round" as you call it would make it really hard for you to be the best parent you can be to the kids you already have. You are also old enough that pregnancy itself is going to be physically difficult in ways that your decade-ago pregnancies were not. My second baby was born when I was 35, at which point my older child was turning 8. Being pregnant at 35 was physically harder than the easy pregnancy I had 28.

Honestly, that you are calling it a "second round" is a red flag. Quit playing fantasy house with your new husband and parent the children you already have.

This!

You are setting yourself up to crumble the relationship you have with your kids. They will rebel and hate you. It will be your fault - both in reality and perceived. You are the adult.

Out of necessity you will spend more time with the baby when your kids need you. Your husband won't have the patience with them than a biological father would. He will end up resentful of the time and energy they need, especially from you. He will end up with a bad relationship with them, which will eventually soil your relationship with them. Oh and he will help you to spoil his baby at the expense of your children, which will fuel their resentment.

Stop making up nonsense. The husband is not the father and expecting him to be is not appropriate. He has a right to have kids and care for his kids. Each set of kids has two parents who are responsible. Stop.

I guess you were never the child from a first marriage and your parent remarries and they start a new family where the older child is treated like a burden and forced to be a "nanny" to the younger child, have you? It happens all the time. It is unbelievably selfish to do this to children from a first marriage. If either one wants children of their own then marry someone who has no children.

How about when Mom has an affair and pushes Dad out for her AP? So many bad things can happen to kids but saying there can be no more kids is bizzare. If you want to control your ex, stay married.

[Anonymous]

I and my friends and my sister all had babies in our 40s.

If you are a teacher like me, you see how many women in their 40s have babies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I and my friends and my sister all had babies in our 40s.

If you are a teacher like me, you see how many women in their 40s have babies.

Did you and your friends conceive without ART?

[Anonymous]

Can you ask your Kids what they think

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you ask your Kids what they think

Parents raise their kids, not siblings. Siblings opinions are irrelevant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you ask your Kids what they think

Parents raise their kids, not siblings. Siblings opinions are irrelevant [/quote

Creating a family with second marriage is the best way for children from your first to end up hating you. You divorced your ex but your children did not and you married the second husband not your children. Your first priority is to your children already here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you ask your Kids what they think

Parents raise their kids, not siblings. Siblings opinions are irrelevant [/quote

Creating a family with second marriage is the best way for children from your first to end up hating you. You divorced your ex but your children did not and you married the second husband not your children. Your first priority is to your children already here!

There is a be lot wrong with your statement.
First teach kids that the only time they have a say in someone being born is when they are the ones who are having the baby
Siblings are a blessing, did you know that?
Nobody joins a convent just because marriage failed
Life goes on and kids don’t need to as bitter as the bitter ex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you ask your Kids what they think

By that logic no one should have more than one child.

[Anonymous]

A coworker of mine broke up with her first child’s father when the child was a baby. She then met Mr. Right, who was a little older, got married and had a second baby with him, so her kids are 2.5 years apart.

They’ve been raised together, and she has full custody of both, so it works, even though they are half siblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A coworker of mine broke up with her first child’s father when the child was a baby. She then met Mr. Right, who was a little older, got married and had a second baby with him, so her kids are 2.5 years apart.

They’ve been raised together, and she has full custody of both, so it works, even though they are half siblings.

There is a huge difference in 2.5 years age difference and 10 years age difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A coworker of mine broke up with her first child’s father when the child was a baby. She then met Mr. Right, who was a little older, got married and had a second baby with him, so her kids are 2.5 years apart.

They’ve been raised together, and she has full custody of both, so it works, even though they are half siblings.

There is a huge difference in 2.5 years age difference and 10 years age difference.

My stepkids and kids have a much bigger age gap than 10 years. Stepkids were born when parents were 19. Why is it a big deal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you ask your Kids what they think

Parents raise their kids, not siblings. Siblings opinions are irrelevant

Far too often parents expect the older step siblings to take care of the new baby. No step siblings should ever be expected to do anything for your new family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A coworker of mine broke up with her first child’s father when the child was a baby. She then met Mr. Right, who was a little older, got married and had a second baby with him, so her kids are 2.5 years apart.

They’ve been raised together, and she has full custody of both, so it works, even though they are half siblings.

There is a huge difference in 2.5 years age difference and 10 years age difference.

My stepkids and kids have a much bigger age gap than 10 years. Stepkids were born when parents were 19. Why is it a big deal?

At 19 they are grown but if you decide that you can no longer afford to pay for the older child's college education because you need the money for your new baby, well, that is a big problem.