How do people handle 3+ kids without a nanny or family help?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure 6 months in is enough time to know whether you’d be able to handle a third.
We have 3 in 4.5 years. Two working parents no nanny or family help. We thrive in chaos and even thought of a fourth. Kids are in elementary now and it’s even more chaotic with three schedules for sports etc. DH and I are both from families of 4 — so I’m sure that plays into this.

I'd argue you don't know yet the strain of 3 until you get to high school ages.

I want to hear more! Is it because of college prep stress? Hormones?

I keep hearing it gets more difficult, but it’s hard for me to understand why. Your kid can do their own homework, make their own meals, do their own laundry, and after 16 drive themselves everywhere. Seems like the dream!

You don't have 3, 16 year olds all at once. You also likely won't have 5 cars all at once.

Hormones, activities, friend, medical and school obligations x3. Most likely you'll be visiting 2 or 3 schools at any given time. With 2 parents you are by far out numbered by the places you need to be at any given time. Activities don't align, schools don't align, etc.

Spacing of the kids makes a huge difference. I have 3 but only 2 were in HS at the same time. The third was elem/middle. It was totally manageable and honestly it was easier than the toddler years. They are girls and very independent and responsible. The older one could drive the younger one for several years. Yes, they struggled some time with school, relationships and activities but it never felt overwhelming. My oldest is 6 years older than the youngest. We didn’t plan it that way but I’m glad it worked out the way it did.

You must have had rough toddler years! I’d take that over HS any day. And mine are great kids and students! But the scheduling and mental load is just exhausting.